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Before marriage couple "do things together". After marriage, reasonably it slows down, but for some, it ends. I'll never forget DH's friend who always complained his wife's a b*tch. He said she was always nagging. (She wanted him to do this or that with the family but he wanted to do other things. The complaints stopped, hubby is happy and continues doing his thing. This goes on for awhile (but it's the calm before the storm).
His wife filed for divorce, naturally DH defended his friend. I told him to think about it.... she tried to tell him what she was unhappy about but he ignored her. When she stopped complaining it's a sign she's given up, for her, nothing changed, she is unhappy, for him he's oblivious and happy she stopped "nagging". During the peace she is realizing they don't want the same thing, and she's deciding if she's willing to continue as is or to change the situation (leaving).
Although divorce is never funny, it was funny that he was shocked. He then promised the world but by then it's too late, she's knows better and by then doesn't want to spend time with him.
Funny, my dad from the 50's generation always encouraged me to get an education and preached that I never depend on a man. I don't know if he understood the times were changing and had an attitude adjustment or if it was because I was his daughter and didn't want me in that position, or if he understood that even very young I didn't have the house wife mentality or if he understood I had more going for me than that but I'm VERY thankful for his encouragement and that he didn't try to groom me to be someone's maid. Thank you for not trying to force societal norms on me mom and dad, love ya!
Think about it. Why wouldn't strong, independent men not have strong independent daughters? If more of these men want submissive wives and daughters they should maybe act a bit more feminine themselves.
They say that behavior and temperaments can somehow be genetically passed down.
Think about it. Why wouldn't strong, independent men not have strong independent daughters? If more of these men want submissive wives and daughters they should maybe act a bit more feminine themselves.
They say that behavior and temperaments can somehow be genetically passed down.
True, his mom and my aunts was a strong women so maybe it is in the genes or that they were raised that women have more to offer than being a maid.
On the other side of the coin it is true that it's was not easy for men in those days either. They had an entire family depending on the him to bring home money and that had to be stressful. Today both men and women work, taking a lot of that stress off the man. They have the best of both era's, treating married life as if they are the sole bread winner and end up putting double stress on the women. Worse, they justify it in their minds believing "that's how it's done" but conveniently forget the part where the men was the sole bread winner. I wonder how it would go over if the women quit working in masses and put the pressure of being the sole bread winner on men.
Last edited by petch751; 02-28-2018 at 07:00 PM..
Reason: qu
So clothes fold, hang and put themselves away? Your pantry is automatically stocked? No dust? The vacuum runs itself, do you change your bed sheets more than once a year? Your single? And no kids
Yea, Monday, drive to work, work an 8 hour day, drive home but stop at the grocery store, walk up and down isles, stand in line forever put everything on conveyer belt, put groceries in car, drive, bring groceries in house, put food away, people nagging their hungry, chop, mix, cook, set out dinner plates, after dinner put dishes in dishwasher, wipe up the table, all the while old man sitting in lazy boy chair. Yea that took only a few minutes. DH is not happy that your not interested tonight.
Tuesday, thaw, drive to work, work an 8 hour day, drive home, stop at bank, pick up kids, errands, home, chop, mix, cook, eat, into dishwasher, clean up. Gather dirty clothes put load of clothes into wash machine, then into the dryer, fold, hang then put clothes away. Yea the every day grind only takes minutes. Go upstairs, clean bedroom, change sheets. Clean bathroom. DH putting the move on, he's taken a snooze so full of energy.
Wednesday, thaw, drive to work, work an 8 hour day, drive home, errands, home, empty dishwasher, chop, mix, cook, eat, dishes into dishwasher, clean up. More dirty clothes need done, put in wash machine, when done put in dryer. Fold and hang clothes, take upstairs and put in drawers and closet.
Thursday, thaw, drive to work, work an 8 hour day, drive home, errands, home, chop, mix, cook, eat, into dishwasher, clean up. Yea it only takes minutes. Husband missed commode, singing and dancing while cleaning toilet. Clean out bath tub and shower., clean mirror, mop floor. Old man relaxing in lazy boy, he worked all day after all.
Friday, thaw, drive to work, work an 8 hour day, drive home, errands, home, chop, mix, cook, eat, into dishwasher, clean up. Dust furniture, run vacuum, More clothes put in wash machine, when done put in dryer. Mop kitchen floor, wipe down cabinets. put clean dishes away. Old man relaxing in lazy boy, it's his day off after all. Go upstairs, clean bedroom, change sheets. Clean bathroom, empty dishwasher, clean dishes away. DH putting the move on, he's taken a snooze so full of energy.
Saturday, thaw, read mail, do bills, do things you couldn't get done during the week, errands, home, chop, mix, cook, eat, into dishwasher, clean up. More dirty clothes, put in wash machine, when done put in dryer. Old man goes fishing. Go upstairs, clean another bedroom, change sheets. Clean bathroom.
Sunday, thaw, do more things you couldn't get done during the week, errands, home, chop, mix, cook, eat, into dishwasher, clean up. clean the downstairs, run vacuum again. Old man relaxing in lazy boy. Clean downstairs bathroom.
DH complains to buddy about wife's lack of interest.... wow those young things are looking good, and then cheating with someone who doesn't do his socks. Wife finds out, divorces him, and all it would have taken if DH would have done his share
Only takes minutes!? what a fulfilling life. Women should be so happy wit this uneven, unpaid work situation<sarcasm>
Just by your post it's obvious you either don't have a clue or live in a pig pen, then again, with 70 hour work weeks, your never home. I hope you change your bed sheets at least once a week.
Or you could learn to organize your life better. Don't get mad at other people if you feel the need to run a different errand every single day. No, it's not hard. I do all of that by myself, again, AFTER working 70 hours a week, sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more. Eight hour days...hahahaha, that's vacation.
Or you could learn to organize your life better. Don't get mad at other people if you feel the need to run a different errand every single day. No, it's not hard. I do all of that by myself, again, AFTER working 70 hours a week, sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more. Eight hour days...hahahaha, that's vacation.
If that's all you want out of life good for you, but to me that's nothing to brag about. As they say, no one ever looks back and and wishes they worked more. I don't want to look back on my life and say I worked 70 hours a week and took care of it all. When I get older I want to think about enjoying time with family and friends, the laughs we had, the things I did.
If that's all you want out of life good for you, but to me that's nothing to brag about. As they say, no one ever looks back and and wishes they worked more. I don't want to look back on my life and say I worked 70 hours a week and took care of it all. When I get older I want to think about enjoying time with family and friends, the laughs we had, the things I did.
No kidding. Who thinks working tons of hours and doing it all by yourself is a badge of honor? I get it if you have no choice. When we were young and broke, we did all the cleaning and grocery shopping. Now we have a house cleaner once a week and order groceries online and just pick them up. Since we both work full time, our downtime is precious and I’d rather spend it with my husband and family than scrubbing toilets. I’m sure no one on their death bed wishes they’d scrubbed more toilets.
No kidding. Who thinks working tons of hours and doing it all by yourself is a badge of honor? I get it if you have no choice. When we were young and broke, we did all the cleaning and grocery shopping. Now we have a house cleaner once a week and order groceries online and just pick them up. Since we both work full time, our downtime is precious and I’d rather spend it with my husband and family than scrubbing toilets. I’m sure no one on their death bed wishes they’d scrubbed more toilets.
I would absolutely hire a weekly cleaner if we could afford it. If the money is there, why not?
Also, it was very common, even for working class households, to have hired help back in the 1950s. Surprisingly, full time domestic help actually peaked in the 1950s (per capita), even though many tend to assume it largely died out with the Victorians or Edwardians.
So, many of the perfect 50s housewives were 'perfect' because they were paying a girl the bare minimum to come in full or part time to help!
I would absolutely hire a weekly cleaner if we could afford it. If the money is there, why not?
Also, it was very common, even for working class households, to have hired help back in the 1950s. Surprisingly, full time domestic help actually peaked in the 1950s (per capita), even though many tend to assume it largely died out with the Victorians or Edwardians.
So, many of the perfect 50s housewives were 'perfect' because they were paying a girl the bare minimum to come in full or part time to help!
I don't know of any 50s families who hired house cleaners. Not until they got older and could no longer do it themselves. I'm sure it happened but I don't think it was common. Cleaning isn't that hard, some people find it relaxing.
I would absolutely hire a weekly cleaner if we could afford it. If the money is there, why not?
Also, it was very common, even for working class households, to have hired help back in the 1950s. Surprisingly, full time domestic help actually peaked in the 1950s (per capita), even though many tend to assume it largely died out with the Victorians or Edwardians.
So, many of the perfect 50s housewives were 'perfect' because they were paying a girl the bare minimum to come in full or part time to help!
Even if you cant afford hired help why should one working spouse be doing 100% of the shopping, cooking, cleaning and child care while the other piddles in their shop, watches TV or whatever it is they want to do. Why would anyone brag about that.
I have known men who did most all the domestic chores in addition to working and you bet everyone, male and female, gave the wife down the road, calling her lazy, selfish, no good and saying he shouldn't put up with that and should divorce her. Funny how that's not the case when its the wife having to do it and some say well, you should organize your time more efficiently and not complain about it.
If that's all you want out of life good for you, but to me that's nothing to brag about. As they say, no one ever looks back and and wishes they worked more. I don't want to look back on my life and say I worked 70 hours a week and took care of it all. When I get older I want to think about enjoying time with family and friends, the laughs we had, the things I did.
Again, it's not like it's hard or takes a lot of time. As for 70 hour weeks, I have goals, and you don't get there by complaining about working hard to make the money.
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