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In 1986, Newsweek ran a now-infamous article declaring that single women over the age of 40 had a better chance of getting murdered by a terrorist than snagging a husband. It was an outrageous (and erroneous) comparison, but nevertheless telling. Whether it had intended to or not, Newsweek was framing singledom as a wretched fate lol, comparable to death by homicide. No wonder men felt it was acceptable to treat women badly. They realized the social stigma that went with a single woman so they knew she would put up with an awful lot.
In 1986, Newsweek ran a now-infamous article declaring that single women over the age of 40 had a better chance of getting murdered by a terrorist than snagging a husband. It was an outrageous (and erroneous) comparison, but nevertheless telling. Whether it had intended to or not, Newsweek was framing singledom as a wretched fate lol, comparable to death by homicide. No wonder men felt it was acceptable to treat women badly. They realized the social stigma that went with a single woman so they knew she would put up with an awful lot.
Just because I do not want to have either a husband or kids DOES NOT mean family is not important to me. That is quite a crock of excrement you are spewing.
And yes, I work. If I didn't I'd be bored out of my skull.
And my $$$ remains my own, and I have the final say over what the "optional" household bills are going to be (cable/Wifi or none, landline or cell phone, vacations taken or none, credit cards and what they are used for, etc.). If I need to re-prioritize my spending in some way, I can just do it, and not have to consult with someone else first, or listen to "But MOM...!" whining about it.
Well ... if family WAS important to you, wouldn't you be married and have kids? Since it's not, you don't.
And yeah I think if I wasn't married and had no kids and then had no job on top of that, I'd be bored too, since I had absolutely nothing to do all day. Not sure what your point is.
Except you want to spend that money any way you want because that is what is most important to you. Good for you. /shrug/
Don't you know your very existence is supposed to be about getting married, having kids and waiting on your DH at his every whim. What's wrong with you? <sarcasm> LOL
Hey I'm with you.
You're right, life should be about working so you can spend your day with people you don't care about, pay your taxes and then come home to an empty house every night. Because family? Pfffft, that's just stupid. Why have a houseful of people who love each other?
Well ... if family WAS important to you, wouldn't you be married and have kids? Since it's not, you don't.
And yeah I think if I wasn't married and had no kids and then had no job on top of that, I'd be bored too, since I had absolutely nothing to do all day. Not sure what your point is.
Except you want to spend that money any way you want because that is what is most important to you. Good for you. /shrug/
I wasn’t aware that the definition of family was just husband and children. I thought it also meant parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins and even close personal friends who can be counted on and love you like family. Your ridiculously narrow definition of family speaks volumes about your judgemental attitude toward women who choose not to or don’t have the opportunity to marry. Unmarried people can actually have close family relationships and enjoy spending time with family. Shocker.
You and others who hold this view are the reason women feel judged and belittled even today. Because they are by small, narrow minded individuals. And that judgement and insistence that women choose a specific lifestyle or they're judged unworthy is precisely what gave rise to feminism and women’s movements.
Well ... if family WAS important to you, wouldn't you be married and have kids? Since it's not, you don't.
And yeah I think if I wasn't married and had no kids and then had no job on top of that, I'd be bored too, since I had absolutely nothing to do all day. Not sure what your point is.
Except you want to spend that money any way you want because that is what is most important to you. Good for you. /shrug/
Family is more than a husband/wife and kids. A persons can be single and child free and have parents, grands, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles that are important to them. Family can be a group of unrelated people who are close and care deeply about one another. Honestly you just cut all unmarried people out of family.
I think the point is just because you say or believe you know what all women or all feminists want and feel doesn't make it true.
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Originally Posted by newtovenice
You're right, life should be about working so you can spend your day with people you don't care about, pay your taxes and then come home to an empty house every night. Because family? Pfffft, that's just stupid. Why have a houseful of people who love each other?
It really sounds like you are the one with family issues. And a very narrow, black and white view of life.
Some families are dysfunctional, unhappy, abusive and full of hate, jealousy and mistrust of one another so its not the be all end all.
Your missing the great thing about feminism in that you can live however life suits you from being a traditional housewife/SAHM with a large family to being a single career oriented woman and everything in between.
Well ... if family WAS important to you, wouldn't you be married and have kids? Since it's not, you don't.
Wow... rude. I have two parents, two siblings, 2 nieces, 2 nephews, 14 1st cousins (most of which have offspring and several have grandkids of their own), 4 uncles and 5 aunts... if that's not family than what is it? Plus I have my mother's entire family over in Europe that I've never even met. My dad has 53 1st cousins and a huge family on his mother's side out in Central NY.
Sad that you are so old-fashioned that you don't consider anyone to be family other than spouse and children.
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Except you want to spend that money any way you want because that is what is most important to you. Good for you. /shrug/
I also have more in savings than a lot of people who do have kids have got. Enough that if something comes up, like a car repair, I can pay it without blinking at the price. Contrast that with people who are in debt up to their eyeballs because they overspend and don't know how to prioritize needs vs wants, because they simply must give their kids every brand new this or that on the market - yeah... smartphones for everybody and big-screen TV's in every room, plus the Disney vacation and a brand new car that has a lien on it instead of buying the best used one they can afford to pay for in cash. If they would stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, they would have more $$$ in the bank for the times when they actually need to spend it.
No point both parents working full-time if one parent is making enough dollars already.
Children shouldn't be raised by a nanny, if it can be avoided.
I absolutely agree. Or daycare for that matter. Sadly, a lot of families don't have a choice due to financial obligations and the cost of living... but if it can be avoided, I believe it is definitely best that children have one parent at home between birth and Pre-K under most circumstances.
I also have more in savings than a lot of people who do have kids have got. Enough that if something comes up, like a car repair, I can pay it without blinking at the price. Contrast that with people who are in debt up to their eyeballs because they overspend and don't know how to prioritize needs vs wants, because they simply must give their kids every brand new this or that on the market - yeah... smartphones for everybody and big-screen TV's in every room, plus the Disney vacation and a brand new car that has a lien on it instead of buying the best used one they can afford to pay for in cash. If they would stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, they would have more $$$ in the bank for the times when they actually need to spend it.
It sounds like you have a wonderful, extended family. That's awesome!
However, please don't stereotype families and assume that you're superior economically than 'a lot of people who have kids'.
Yes, kids cost more than no kids- but it isn't necessarily for frivolous reasons (food, extra curricular activities, health care and college funds are the extra expenditures we have).
A single person or couple sans kids is just as likely as a family with kids, to try to "keep up with the Joneses".
We own our home and our cars outright. We have 1 TV for the entire house. We don't plan on getting our kids cell phones until they're about 12, and even then it will be track phones.
We are saving up for a Disney vacation in a few years... before kids though (when we had a double income) we actually vacationed a lot more.
Most families with children that I'm acquainted with in my neighborhood aren't extravagant or spendthrift either.
Some of the families you know may be living the lifestyle you described, it certainly isn't the case with most families in my experience.
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