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Does that mean you gave up rights to say no at a certain point? What if you wanted to have sex, went to the guy's apartment, and discovered the corpses of several decomposing women at the boy toy's crash pad? That actually happened to a woman who went to Anthony Sowell's abode in Ohio back in the 1990s. He had the bodies of several women wrapped in plastic garbage bags all over his house. Could you say no then? Or does the flirting, dressing sexy, and leading the guy on mean you can't change your mind midstream?
Or, even more realistically, what if she went back to his place and he insisted on anal? Or to include his roommates? Or to be videotaped? What exactly was she saying yes to? One specific thing or anything the man wanted her to do?
It is possible for a person to have sex with someone, regret it later, and even lie about it, sure.
But it should also be pretty clear when an encounter is consensual and when it is not; when "no" or "stop" is not respected. The correct interpretation is: if you're clearly doing it against the other person's will, then it's sexual assault. It's not that nebulous. And trying to make it so by insinuating negative things about how women form their decisions for attraction isn't a very credible approach.
It might be clear to the two people involved but it's not necessarily clear to others after the fact. And no one can make you whole afterwards least of all the government. No sense of putting yourself at risk or doing things that make it less clear about whether there was consent. And I'm just not going to be hysterical about sexual offense.
I was more replying to the concept that women complain about men suitors but often don't choose the ones who don't do what they complain about. I think women just complain about everything and choose men mostly based on physical attractiveness despite their complaints.
It's comments like these that make me very glad I married my first love. I do not envy my college-aged daughter, trying to navigate dating today.
And the sad part is in many cases they were probably right . Those boys were getting all the girls and most of the ones who didn't do that got none.
You don't know who those boys were or what they looked like. We had a clique of girls and boys we knew and trusted and we could flirt together. Outside of that we didn't want attention. Some of those clique kids even got married and are still married with grown kids. I don't see a problem with having friends you trust and sticking with them.
Does that mean you gave up rights to say no at a certain point? What if you wanted to have sex, went to the guy's apartment, and discovered the corpses of several decomposing women at the boy toy's crash pad? That actually happened to a woman who went to Anthony Sowell's abode in Ohio back in the 1990s. He had the bodies of several women wrapped in plastic garbage bags all over his house. Could you say no then? Or does the flirting, dressing sexy, and leading the guy on mean you can't change your mind midstream?
Why couldn't a woman change her mind midstream?
Sex among adults should be CONSENSUAL. That means you don't owe it to someone to not change your mind because of your clothing, your past statements, etc. Ever heard the phrase "no means no?" Everyone reserves the right to change their mind at any time. Forcing someone into sex is a no-no. Wearing provocative clothing may not be a good idea in all scenarios, and it may expose you to risk; however, it still doesn't shift the responsibility away in terms of sexual interactions being consensual.
Do you seriously need this explained to you, or are you playing dumb to make a point?
Location: Big Island of Hawaii & HOT BuOYS Sailing Vessel
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The person that initiates the sexual encounter has a duty to listen for
no or stop, or any other sign that the advance is unwanted,
Further, that the individual is able to make this sign and not impaired by age, fear, maturity, alcohol, drug, or similar
Disagree - I dressed up in short shorts or mini skirts with low cut tops because I wanted to be noticed - not because I cared what my girlfriends thought of me. I was responsible for how much I drank at a bar - I was responsible for flirting and leading a guy on - I was responsible for saying yes when he asked did I want to go back to his apt - I knew we weren't going to play parcheesi - I accept responsibility for leading him on.
Women need to think before they act and take responsibility for their part in many of these situations. You all want to be equal - part of being equal is owning it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks
Does that mean you gave up rights to say no at a certain point? What if you wanted to have sex, went to the guy's apartment, and discovered the corpses of several decomposing women at the boy toy's crash pad? That actually happened to a woman who went to Anthony Sowell's abode in Ohio back in the 1990s. He had the bodies of several women wrapped in plastic garbage bags all over his house. Could you say no then? Or does the flirting, dressing sexy, and leading the guy on mean you can't change your mind midstream?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambient
Why couldn't a woman change her mind midstream?
Sex among adults should be CONSENSUAL. That means you don't owe it to someone to not change your mind because of your clothing, your past statements, etc. Ever heard the phrase "no means no?" Everyone reserves the right to change their mind at any time. Forcing someone into sex is a no-no. Wearing provocative clothing may not be a good idea in all scenarios, and it may expose you to risk; however, it still doesn't shift the responsibility away in terms of sexual interactions being consensual.
Do you seriously need this explained to you, or are you playing dumb to make a point?
Read upthread. I was being facetious in my response to xray's post.
Location: Big Island of Hawaii & HOT BuOYS Sailing Vessel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by residinghere2007
I do believe that women should know how to fight and carry a gun if they see fit to protect themselves. But IMO it is not a requirement. As a woman I've been a victim of various sorts of assaults in my life and I don't think that men understand what women endure in this regard.
I have a 10 year old daughter and I honestly worry about her because she's had such a nice upbringing - no abuse, no one doing anything negative to her and she didn't grow up in the era I grew up in where girls were taught to be VERY tough and know how to fight and kick people's a$$. I worry when she goes off to college something will happen to her so we are going to take Kung Fu together so she can learn how to kick a$$ and in the next couple of years, I'm going to teach her how to use a weapon.
FWIW my husband thinks I'm being ridiculous about this. IMO he is being naive. A girl needs to know how to protect herself. Unfortunately, often it doesn't matter if she does if someone can over power her or surprise her. But as a mother whose been in scary situations, I feel it is a duty of mine to teach her to speak up for herself and how to fight and how to use a weapon.
I also recommend you lie to your children. More like lying as an instruction to understand life and recognize what lying is.
Too many children can't recognize when someone is leading them on.
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. Those boys were getting all the girls and most of the ones who didn't do that got none.
