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I will do everything I can to teach my daughters to PROTECT THEMSELVES, to NOT PUT THEMSELVES IN SITUATIONS where a sexual assault is easy, TO NOT dress like a hooker and then get offended when they are treated LIKE A HOOKER
Its stupid to expect the government and laws to provide 100% protection against this...they really cant provide any...its up to the individual...I hope my daughters will one day open carry like I do...they wont be assaulted
So if your daughter is stared at and propositioned, it must be her fault. Because you don't have to dress like a hooker to have that happen. Maybe she would need to wear a sack or burqa to not look like a hooker.
I avoided 99.9% of life's problems simply by remaining single and celibate. You people have no idea how easy and care free my life is. I feel very sorry for people that can't live life without a 'significant other'. Oh what torturous lives you people live.
I can get that POV. Relationships cause a lot of problems. The court system would be a lot less crowded if no one got married or had any type of significant other relationship. As for whether it's worth the emotional toll in terms of loneliness and other empty feelings is a matter of debate.
So if your daughter is stared at and propositioned, it must be her fault. Because you don't have to dress like a hooker to have that happen. Maybe she would need to wear a sack or burqa to not look like a hooker.
Right. Yet again this backward notion about what happens if women dress provocatively...
I wonder what, exactly, the dress police would deem okay. I have been in some very high end clubs where it would be hard to find a woman NOT dressed provocatively. Some might even consider the short tight tiny dresses "the look of a hooker" while others might consider that notion somewhat insulting. Backward, insulting and too bad...
I've seen "divas" in their videos wearing hardly anything. They "asking for it" too?
Is the focus on what women wear really about avoiding sexual assault or is it more about backward thinking men? Or maybe prudes in general? Skin phobia perhaps?
Does a person have a duty to protect themselves from dumb threads?
For most people, this seems like common sense, and it is but it's more complicated for women. I read this book about women and fear. It's not uncommon for a woman to override her gut instinct that something isn't right because of the cultural training and pressure on girls/women to be nice to people and be polite. I believe it was a cop, or criminal psychologist who wrote the book. Someone in law enforcement with a lot of insight.
******************
This woman was really struggling with feeling like she was being rude by not accepting his help and maybe making him feel bad. He seemed nice, well enough dressed, he was a neighbor's brother... She ended up relenting and letting him carry a bag. I'm sure everyone knows where this is going...He pushed her inside her front door and raped her. Afterwards, she told the officer she had a feeling in her gut but she fought it, telling herself she was over reacting and being paranoid.
This was a recurring detail with many of the stories in the book. That cultural training to be nice and make people feel comfortable is strong in females. Nobody wants to seem like a *****. Women are raised to be nice always concerned for people's feelings. Predators know this and use it against them. The main point in the book was, ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! When they went through the whole story, they found red flags that she had ignored in order to be nice. They found the points where she should have stopped being nice, better to hurt someone's feelings a bit than be assaulted. The main point in the book was following your gut and paying attention so you can connect your brain to your gut instincts.
I imagine this is more difficult for outgoing women. I'm introverted and can be a bit shy. I get hit on a lot, but I hate getting attention, I tend to get away as quickly as possible from people, and definitely men, even the most attractive ones. I'm not rude, I just don't like talking to strangers and usually want to get away. If they start pushing, then I can get a bit short. I've been called a stuck up ***** a few times. I guess I helped keep myself safe but I'd still rather be outgoing.
I can't agree much. Most women are expert rejecters and very perceptive of their surrounding like a deer. I do sort of agree women throw caution to the wind for an exceptionally attractive guy, but I think the exceptionally attractive rapist is very rare.
What detshen described may have been more true in days gone by than now. I do not, however, want to take sides in the toxic argument ongoing on this thread. There are men who are good "con artists." There are temptresses. Both exist and are real.
My daughter does carry concealed, but I've also taught her: Make sure you get some of his DNA. Even if he kills you, make sure you've got some of his DNA under your nails and a chunk of his nose or ear in your teeth. Kavanaugh might not remember Ford, but that guy should remember you every time he looks in a mirror.
absolutely
pull hair bite scratch eyes scream bloody murder...punch in eye with keys
no such thing as a fair fight
So if your daughter is stared at and propositioned, it must be her fault. Because you don't have to dress like a hooker to have that happen. Maybe she would need to wear a sack or burqa to not look like a hooker.
the way young girls dress today they look like hookers
she doesn't have to wear a sack to look respectable
Right. Yet again this backward notion about what happens if women dress provocatively...
I wonder what, exactly, the dress police would deem okay. I have been in some very high end clubs where it would be hard to find a woman NOT dressed provocatively. Some might even consider the short tight tiny dresses "the look of a hooker" while others might consider that notion somewhat insulting. Backward, insulting and too bad...
I've seen "divas" in their videos wearing hardly anything. They "asking for it" too?
Is the focus on what women wear really about avoiding sexual assault or is it more about backward thinking men? Or maybe prudes in general? Skin phobia perhaps?
Does a person have a duty to protect themselves from dumb threads?
so if my white self walks through the ghetto with a giamt money belt on in plain view, with dollar signs all over me and I get robbed...none of it was my fault??
Fortunately for me, I'm mentally healthy enough not to be impacted by loneliness or empty feelings. Ironically, feminism forced me to become entirely independent of intimate relationships. I was not going to have my life destroyed through lack of proper genuflecting in the presence of a supposedly superior social construct. Courtly love has destroyed far more lives than tobacco ever dreamed. Codependency is socially conditioned into both men and women from birth and is something that I learned, through much effort, to eradicate from my own psyche. One is deluged with a constant stream of said social conditioning in movies, music, books, TV and print. Once you learn to recognize such brainwashing, you see it all over the place. That part, the ability to be mentally healthy without an intimate relationship, took about six years of intense daily study into gender social conditioning to achieve. It was in no way easy and required hundreds of hours of substantial deprogramming from past experiences. This one realization, that of recognizing the relentless codependent social conditioning, more than any other epiphany, solidified my ability to live a life free of the depression, loneliness and sense of failure so many needlessly suffer when left without a significant other. It's strange to put it this way, but without feminism, I'd never have achieved the psychological health I enjoy today. Feminism motivated me to break out of my own socially conditioned miasma. Another concept that gave me large clues into gaining superior mental health came from an idea called "Imago Theory". I'm not advocating for the aforementioned theory in any way, but it did help shine a light on my own internalized illusions and enchantments regarding "love", "the one" and "happily ever after".
"Whatever works" as they say...
I have seen many people deal with all variety of different life circumstances and there is no right or wrong better or worse way to deal with what life delivers beyond what works best for us as individuals. I used to work as an Executive Coach, with hundreds of clients, and the experience taught me well just how different we can be with respect to how we handle the same challenges. All depends on how we process our experience, understand ourselves and what is going on around us, our disposition, our "bandwidth," our ability to relate with others. So many things...
Ultimately I think everyone's goal is to achieve happiness and/or avoid pain. What brings us happiness is different for everyone to one extent or another. How you achieve yours won't work for others and vice versa, but the study of what works for you is important. From what I can tell, you have figured out what works for you, but be careful to think there isn't more still to learn.
so if my white self walks through the ghetto with a giamt money belt on in plain view, with dollar signs all over me and I get robbed...none of it was my fault??
Your analogy is about as dumb as this thread and most of the notions expressed herein...
To compare the scenario you describe to this theme that woman need to consider what they're wearing in cases of sexual assault is your white self demonstrating the same sort of backward thinking, but if it helps you understand any better, no one is arguing that anyone should not avoid being stupid!
Or to answer your question more specifically, say a moron walks through the ghetto as you say and gets robbed. Doesn't really matter how stupid this moron was being when it comes to who is guilty or responsible for the crime. Right? The moron may be stupid, but he is not guilty of committing a crime. The robber is, no matter how stupid the moron may have been.
A woman dressing provocatively, is not exactly the same thing...
To dumb this down even further, if you are asking whether ANYONE should do what might likely bring them harm, doesn't take much brain power to say no. Whether carrying lots of cash or wearing a sexy dress, only an idiot walks where they know they are not safe. Carrying lots of cash and/or wearing a sexy dress is neither stupid or inviting of a crime generally speaking however. Lots of people do without incident. Generally not stupid people but hey, bad things happen anyway no matter what.
Woman wants to dress like a nun or maybe her husband thinks that's best for whatever their reasons, for their daughters too, fine. Women or men want to tell other women how to dress, with this phobia about what bad people can do, even to the point of suggesting the woman is responsible for sexual assault if not dressed appropriately according to them? No sir.
Back to the dark ages. Do not pass Go...
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