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LOL yeah that's right. "Some of my best friends are black. Oh, and my kids are too."
I focused on what I TAUGHT my kids, by the way. Not the color of their skin, though I certainly felt it was important to teach them how to carry themselves since racism does exist and I didn't want them to experience it if it could be avoided.
By the way, you know what group of kids made my kids the most miserable in junior high and high school? Just guess. And guess why. And then preach at me some more about racism.
Like I said, my perspective is just as valid as yours. We come from different backgrounds - why not learn from each other rather than insulting each other?
Why are you asking me to guess anything? What do I win if I guess correctly? What do I lose if I guess incorrectly? What would be the point of me trying to guess? What is the point of you asking me to guess and simply not sharing the answer?
Black people are hyper sensitive to being disrespected from ANY source. We have a long history of being disrespected in this country and we are still disrespected. The murder rate in the black community is high partly due to people feeling disrespected by another and emotions running high about it and weapons being readily available.
If I have bruised ribs and you touch my ribs its going to hurt. If your ribs are not bruised and some touches it your reaction will be different. Black people just are not taking slit from people these days....regardless of their color. That is a HUMAN reaction to the history of what blacks experienced. Its not a BLACK REACTION.
The things you say you teach your kids are commonly taught, but emotions are not something easily controlled. Most black people do just that, however, and do not make a scene. Its only the ones who are not under control that you hear about, but again, instead of focusing on the incorrect way to deal with racism, the focus should be on the incorrectness of racism. The way I see it...the black person won, if this was racism. So I cannot say he responded inappropriately. Had it been your kids, and the security guard was racist, he would still be around picking on blacks and getting away with it.
I teach job training classes to underprivileged women. One time I had an aide, who was a well dressed, pretty introverted, older white woman, who had found out about the program via her church, which (OK I admit it) I often call "Six Flags Over Jesus" because it's such a big, fancy schmancy church - with nearly a totally white congregation. Anyway, so we worked together but she was very difficult to get to know, and she was not particularly friendly with me or with the very diverse class, though she was always polite and proper and pleasant.
So I went through the whole semester under the assumption that she was some comfortable, stick in the mud church lady and frankly, I couldn't imagine why she was even there. I mean, I was nice to her but those were my inner thoughts on the matter. And then one day, she just quit - and didn't come back. And at first - I'll admit it - and I was sort of irate because her sudden departure left me in a bind - I thought "OK, so this wasn't quite your cup of tea, was it? Maybe a little too real for you?"
Come to find out - she had had so much tragedy in her life, including losing her son, who was an addict, to suicide. In fact, she had to drop out of teaching toward the end of the semester because her husband died unexpectedly.
My point is that, to my chagrin, I had judged her as someone who probably couldn't understand the struggles the women in our class were going through - someone with a cushy, upper middle class white life, some church lady who was probably judgmental of the disadvantaged women in our class. I didn't INTENTIONALLY judge her - but I had made a lot of assumptions, which thankfully I had kept to myself instead of running my mouth about, and I was so ashamed and surprised when I heard about what was really going on in her life. My only saving grace was that at least I hadn't run off at the mouth with anyone else about it, but I knew what I'd thought in my heart.
This made me realize something - it made me realize that many of my students may make the same assumptions about me, because I am an older white lady, volunteering, dressed nicely, married, not working for pay because I don't have to, college educated, etc. I mean, I hope they don't, but they might. So now I start every class off with "Hi, I'm Kathryn, and I'm a middle aged, white church lady!" That breaks the ice very quickly!
My point is that we all can be make judgments of others, based in their skin tone, their dress, their demeanor, etc. It's what we do with those observations that matters. Maybe this case and others can help us remind ourselves not to be "that guy."
I think it's worse than that. Why on earth would he want to use the lobby phone? There is a phone in his room and one in his pocket. That makes no sense. He used the hotel lobby phone, leaving his cell free to FILM the incident he created. It's a scam, imo.
Why do hotels have phones in the lobby or rooms, given that people have cell phones? I think the Hotels are in a conspiracy with liberals to try to make it seem as if racism still exist in America. I mean.....why have a phone in the lobby? If you are a guest won't you have a phone in your room? They planted the phone there hoping that some black guy would then come and use it and then the security would come question whether they were a guest or not and then the black person could claim racism and further the liberal agenda.
Why are you asking me to guess anything? What do I win if I guess correctly? What do I lose if I guess incorrectly? What would be the point of me trying to guess? What is the point of you asking me to guess and simply not sharing the answer?
Black people are hyper sensitive to being disrespected from ANY source. We have a long history of being disrespected in this country and we are still disrespected. The murder rate in the black community is high partly due to people feeling disrespected by another and emotions running high about it and weapons being readily available.
If I have bruised ribs and you touch my ribs its going to hurt. If your ribs are not bruised and some touches it your reaction will be different. Black people just are not taking slit from people these days....regardless of their color. That is a HUMAN reaction to the history of what blacks experienced. Its not a BLACK REACTION.
The things you say you teach your kids are commonly taught, but emotions are not something easily controlled. Most black people do just that, however, and do not make a scene. Its only the ones who are not under control that you hear about, but again, instead of focusing on the incorrect way to deal with racism, the focus should be on the incorrectness of racism. The way I see it...the black person won, if this was racism. So I cannot say he responded inappropriately. Had it been your kids, and the security guard was racist, he would still be around picking on blacks and getting away with it.
You're confirming the other side of this coin. I go into a store and am treated rudely. I think damn, that woman/man is awful. A black person who is hyper sensitive is going to assume it has to do with their race. We could go into the same place and deal with the same person acting the same way and the hyper sensitive black person could come out claiming racism where none existed.
White people are supposed to believe that any time it's PERCEIVED it is happening, when often the facts do not bear that out. I have a hyper-sensitive Hispanic friend who is always swearing this and that occurred because he is Hispanic. No matter how many times I tell him the same things happen to me, it makes no difference.
He makes a CHOICE to perceive the world through the eyes of a victim mentality.
You're confirming the other side of this coin. I go into a store and am treated rudely. I think damn, that woman/man is awful. A black person who is hyper sensitive is going to assume it has to do with their race. We could go into the same place and deal with the same person acting the same way and the hyper sensitive black person could come out claiming racism where none existed.
White people are supposed to believe that any time it's PERCEIVED it is happening, when often the facts do not bear that out. I have a hyper-sensitive Hispanic friend who is always swearing this and that occurred because he is Hispanic. No matter how many times I tell him the same things happen to me, it makes no difference.
He makes a CHOICE to perceive the world through the eyes of a victim mentality.
I can understand why you feel this way, but do keep in mind one thing: black people in our society are often dealing with non-black entities in their customer service dealings, particularly if they are patronizing stores in non-black neighborhoods.
If white people were to have similar experiences as they patronized black establishments, they would also wonder if the lack of customer service shown to them was based on their whiteness too.
That's human nature. But we (I am "white") don't have those experiences NEARLY as often, so before we start calling out a race's "hypersensitivity", first you need to put yourself in their shoes.
And all of that is to say nothing of the black experience in America as a whole, which quite frankly, would lead anyone to question the motives and feelings of fellow white people. We don't often do a good job of seeing through our own majority positions.
You're confirming the other side of this coin. I go into a store and am treated rudely. I think damn, that woman/man is awful. A black person who is hyper sensitive is going to assume it has to do with their race. We could go into the same place and deal with the same person acting the same way and the hyper sensitive black person could come out claiming racism where none existed.
White people are supposed to believe that any time it's PERCEIVED it is happening, when often the facts do not bear that out. I have a hyper-sensitive Hispanic friend who is always swearing this and that occurred because he is Hispanic. No matter how many times I tell him the same things happen to me, it makes no difference.
He makes a CHOICE to perceive the world through the eyes of a victim mentality.
Look. This is the bed white America made via its long history of treating blacks like slit. Actions have consequences. One of the consequences is that blacks are hyper sensitive to any form of disrespect or slight....and yes, hyper sensitive to perceived racism from whites. THAT SHOULD BE EXPECTED, given the history. If a person has had a heart attack previously, that person will be more hyper sensitive to chest pains and not just assume its indigestion, while a person with no history of heart troubles may brush it off as something they ate. hypersensitivity often follows traumatic situations. Oppression has had a traumatic impact on blacks. This should not be hard to see or understand.
Look. This is the bed white America made via its long history of treating blacks like slit. Actions have consequences. One of the consequences is that blacks are hyper sensitive to any form of disrespect or slight....and yes, hyper sensitive to perceived racism from whites. THAT SHOULD BE EXPECTED, given the history. If a person has had a heart attack previously, that person will be more hyper sensitive to chest pains and not just assume its indigestion, while a person with no history of heart troubles may brush it off as something they ate. hypersensitivity often follows traumatic situations.
You say that as if I or other white people or society or America is reaping what we sowed. It's hurting no one except the sufferers of victim mentality. I have a Hispanic friend and a black friend of a friend who make themselves miserable all the time imagining things that are not happening. It hurts no one but them. I'm not miserable over it. They are.
Why are you asking me to guess anything? What do I win if I guess correctly? What do I lose if I guess incorrectly? What would be the point of me trying to guess? What is the point of you asking me to guess and simply not sharing the answer?
Sorry for any miscommunication I inadvertently caused - I didn't mean for you to actually answer that question - I just wanted you to think about it. I think you and I both know the answer to the question anyway.
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Black people are hyper sensitive to being disrespected from ANY source. We have a long history of being disrespected in this country and we are still disrespected. The murder rate in the black community is high partly due to people feeling disrespected by another and emotions running high about it and weapons being readily available.
I totally agree with this sentiment. And I will repeat, since I've already said it over and over again, there IS such a thing as racism in this country, and white privilege, and slavery and injustice toward African Americans in this country has not been completely eradicated.
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If I have bruised ribs and you touch my ribs its going to hurt. If your ribs are not bruised and some touches it your reaction will be different. Black people just are not taking slit from people these days....regardless of their color. That is a HUMAN reaction to the history of what blacks experienced. Its not a BLACK REACTION.
Not a good analogy, because bruised ribs are not visible to anyone, like skin tone is. But let's go with this - say that someone has a big nose. Heck, make it a beautiful, arched, noble big nose. Someone who doesn't have a big nose may not understand why the person with a big nose is hypersensitive to comments about noses. That person is in for a big surprise when he says, "Need a tissue to blow your nose?" and the guy with the big nose goes off on him. That being said, where the smaller nosed person would be wrong would be if he made jokes about big noses, or assumed that people with big noses were inferior, or whatever. But sorry - if he gets lambasted for offering a tissue to someone with a big nose, that's on the big nosed person.
If I use your logic, it's OK for me as an older woman to go off on someone the next time they call me Miss Kathryn, or offer me a seat on the subway. What are they going to do next - take away my right to vote? Give my job to someone younger? I mean, who do they think they are?
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The things you say you teach your kids are commonly taught, but emotions are not something easily controlled. Most black people do just that, however, and do not make a scene. Its only the ones who are not under control that you hear about, but again, instead of focusing on the incorrect way to deal with racism, the focus should be on the incorrectness of racism. The way I see it...the black person won, if this was racism. So I cannot say he responded inappropriately.
I get what you're saying, to a point - and I agree with it, to a point. You're right, emotions are not easily controlled, but that does not excuse immoral behavior. It can help shed some understanding on it, but doesn't excuse it. We are all still responsible for our actions - that's why emotional abuse is so horrible, but that's a topic for another day.
And I also agree that the focus should be on correcting racism, rather than SIMPLY conforming one's behavior. That's why people usually have to be TAUGHT how to rise above emotionalism and how to apply logic and objectivity to real life situations.
I can give one example after another of people who "won" a showdown by using nefarious or simply mean or small minded means. Often simply yelling at someone will shut someone else down - does that mean that was the best response? Does that mean that the person yelling really understood the other person's position - or does that just mean the situation is handled? The other day, someone cut me off in traffic -and this was after I determined that they were not going to get in (they did one of those merging things where they sped up to the front of a closed lane and then were trying to "Bogart" their way into the front of the long line of traffic). But get this - they got in. They "won." I mean, I could have wrecked my car and dealt with all that, but it wasn't worth it to me, and you know what I've learned? I've learned that we never really get away with anything, and that I don't have to worry about that situation because somewhere, some day, that person is going to pay for their driving habits, and I don't even have to be around to see it, and they are very unlikely to even see the connection between what they did that day and what happens to them in the future.
Hey, speaking of cutting into traffic, maybe we should just always let people in because who knows, they may be trying to get to the hospital or something. Maybe people give us poor customer service because they are trying to hold down three jobs and they're dog tired. Maybe the person texting in front of us in the movie theater just found out that her brother has cancer and she's telling him she'll call him right back. Maybe the person in bookkeeping misapplied our payment because his son just committed suicide and he's distracted by his grief. Where do we draw the line about expectations regarding behavior, demeanor, bearing, etc?
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Had it been your kids, and the security guard was racist, he would still be around picking on blacks and getting away with it.
For someone who claims my kids aren't relevant to this conversation, you sure do keep talking about them.
So I'll play. I actually told one of my sons the other day that I felt like he was racially profiled, by the police, at one point (long story, and he wasn't charged with anything and went on home, but it was an unpleasant situation - and for the record, this was not in the US and so that was even more complicated). I encouraged him to file charges if he felt it was necessary. I actually do feel like he was treated in a racist manner. I have no issue identifying racism when I see it. In fact, I sort of like calling people out on it, if the truth be known.
I have never, not one moment, ever encouraged or modeled "putting up with racism" to my kids. Any time we encountered racism (and yes, it did happen, and still does occasionally happen) I was very firm in my response, and guess what - we "won." So no, if the security guard had been racist to my kids, he wouldn't still be around picking on blacks and getting away with it. I could tell you more true stories about standing against racism with my kids, but you've already said they have no bearing and I'm just trying to make myself look good with such stories, so I won't bother you with them.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 12-30-2018 at 02:23 PM..
Then why do I get asked for proof that I am a guest in hotels sometimes? I am white.
That is not the question. The question is had a white person did the same thing, dressed the same way, at this hotel, would the security had questioned them? Obviously no black person posted to social media about being asked if they were a guest at the same hotels WHERE YOU WERE ASKED THIS QUESTION. Right? So you have no evidence of blacks claiming racism for being asked if they were guest at the same hotels YOU STAYED. That would be an apples to apples comparison. The issue here is whether a white person at this hotel at that same time and those same circumstances would have been treated differently. We will never know the answer to that but with the general knowledge of the way racism manifest in America, today, I say there stands a good probability that a white person would not have been asked to demonstrate that they were a guest.
You say that as if I or other white people or society or America is reaping what we sowed. It's hurting no one except the sufferers of victim mentality. I have a Hispanic friend and a black friend of a friend who make themselves miserable all the time imagining things that are not happening. It hurts no one but them. I'm not miserable over it. They are.
Get this. When I was a newlywed (the first time - LOL - to the father of my kids) - my husband and I were looking for housing off post. (He was and still is in the military.) We had no issues finding a place. Didn't run into any racism - if we did, I guess we were both obtuse about it. Anyway, we rented a place and everything was fine. Eventually we moved on post - and everything was still fine. Then I met a girl I really liked. She was white, her husband was black. Within a few conversations, it became clear to me that for whatever reason, in the very same town, she was having a much different experience than I was having. My goodness, she ran into racism everywhere! People were always discriminating against her and her family. Why would this be?
I'll tell you why, though you've guessed it, I'm sure. She saw racism everywhere. OK, she and her husband had bad credit, and they had a harder time finding rental property than my husband and I, with good credit, had. But she assumed it was because they were an interracial couple or because her husband was black.
In her defense, she came from a locale and family that gave her a lot of grief about her interracial marriage. My family didn't. Where I came from (military background) people didn't give me a lot of grief about it either. So I didn't see racism in every rejection - I just figured if someone turned me down for housing, it was due to bad credit - in theory, because we didn't ever get turned down for housing.
But I did know when we WERE targeted racially. And it did happen. Occasionally, people did react to us from a racist perspective, and I saw it, knew it, and dealt with it. But most of the time, it just wasn't an issue.
It's funny - I have two daughters. One hardly ever even mentions race, and when she does it's generally something humorous or just a casual observation (for instance, she and I have discussed the behavior of kids in public and noticed that different races deal with their kids differently - GENERALLY SPEAKING, I KNOW THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS BUT MY POINT IS THAT IT'S A HUMOROUS CONVERSATION). My other daughter sees racism everywhere. She is constantly making assumptions, rolling her eyes, arguing with people, etc. She's also the least tolerant of my kids, and frankly, I think she is the most racist. Her behaviors are perplexing to the other kids - they've even said to me, "It's like she forgot we all grew up in the same house together." Oh well.
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