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Having had a daughter just graduate from college, yes, it can be done. We didn't avail ourselves of these loans but it's all electronic so yes, it can be done and quite easily - they've made borrowing hundreds of thousands of dollars as easy as a couple of mouse clicks. Oh, credit worthiness? No problem, that doesn't enter the equation - the only criteria is if you have already defaulted on student loans in the past. Yes, it is fraud but the only way those parents would be "found out" is if once the student discovered these loans on their credit report go to the police and file a complaint.
Don't ask me how these parents exactly do it, but with all these online signings there has been fraud. We see it when leases or other contracts are signed online and all we need is two different email addresses.
Sometimes we are asked if someone else can sign through their email as one doesn't seem to have time and we say that the person who owns the email and has provided the email address for them, has to sign.
However, if someone else logs in and signs, we will not know.
Just watch some judge shows on tv and I was doubtful about these stories, like as many others, except for the one that we got proof of funds in the form of students grants which we turned down as a tenant as we don't take that as income for an entire family to live at a pool home.
Disability and the grants, were not enough for normal monthly income for a family of 5.
On tv I saw plaintiffs suing for loans they gave to defendants from their student loans. Judge Judy even had to laugh how these people explain the money meant for housing, etc. to be used to make money by giving a loan to someone else, and that person failing to pay and then end up in court.
Just because it is so insane, doesn't make it false.
Student loans are supposed to be for education, not living high on the hog because you don't want to change your lifestyle. Yes, living expenses can be included, that doesn't mean go live at the nicest complex you can find cause you just have to study poolside every day. It doesn't mean buy the most expensive car. It doesn't mean buy the latest iPhone 128MB with all the bells and whistles, it doesn't mean go on a clothing shopping spree.
So...what happens if someone abuses their student loans? Pretty much nothing:
And that is just one reason why people are not embracing the "student loan debt forgiveness". They already borrowed money once, now they want to "borrow" more to pay off what they borrowed. Pound sand.
You didin't read some of the article that you gave links to. The one about buying a car isn't saying use your student loan to buy a car. It is saying IF YOU HAVE a student loan you can still buy a car. Don't forget you can get a secured loan even if you have a student loan or are a student -- a secured loan uses an asset as collateral. You can get the loan but if you default you lose the asset. Lots of older folks, baby boomers included have student debt and have car loans and mortgages, etc. They are independent of the student loan.
Most people don't support the student loan forgiveness policy.
You didin't read some of the article that you gave links to. The one about buying a car isn't saying use your student loan to buy a car. It is saying IF YOU HAVE a student loan you can still buy a car. Don't forget you can get a secured loan even if you have a student loan or are a student -- a secured loan uses an asset as collateral. You can get the loan but if you default you lose the asset. Lots of older folks, baby boomers included have student debt and have car loans and mortgages, etc. They are independent of the student loan.
Most people don't support the student loan forgiveness policy.
Perhaps you should have read the links that were in the article:
Yes, it is possible to use student loans for living expenses in college, under certain circumstances....
Indirect costs are costs from outside the college that are necessary to attend college, such as transportation and personal expenses. For example, your college won’t directly charge you for a car or bike to attend school, but depending on your campus, you may need one or the other to get to class. Off-campus housing is also considered an indirect cost.
Quote:
The way you’ll typically see college expenses broken down is into two categories: direct costs and indirect costs., which combined make up the cost of attendance (CoA). These costs are important to understand when you’re considering using student loans for living expenses.
Quote:
How to Use Student Loans for Living Expenses
Borrowing money to pay your tuition is straightforward: you have a set dollar amount that must be paid to the school for each year of attendance. But borrowing money for living expenses can get more complicated. It’s important to fully understand how you’ll receive your money, what type of loan you should apply for, and how much money you really need to borrow.
A subsidized federal student loan is a loan where the US Government helps subsidize or pay for a portion of the loan. For federal student loans, this equates to the government paying part of the interest on the loan. This subsidy of interest does not last throughout the full term of the loan...
Federal student loan.
Unsubsidized:
Quote:
An unsubsidized federal student loan does not offer the same interest subsidy as found in subsidized loans. Unsubsidized loans are easier to obtain because they do not require that you demonstrate a financial need. Unlike subsidized loans, unsubsidized loans are available to both undergraduate and graduate students.
Federal student loan. Federal. Student. Loan.
Quote:
If you qualify for a federally-backed student loan, you can use your financial aid disbursement surplus to pay for your miscellaneous living expenses. In most cases, your disbursement will be forwarded directly to your school’s financial aid office, where the amount of your tuition will be taken out. Once this process is complete, you can ask your financial aid office for a refund of the surplus (whatever’s left over). You can then use that refund to pay whatever expenses you have. It isn’t uncommon for a school to withdraw too much from students’ financial aid disbursements, so keep a close eye out for discrepancies.
What part of that doesn't say, "federal student loan used for buying a car" to you?
Status:
"Smartened up and walked away!"
(set 26 days ago)
11,780 posts, read 5,792,331 times
Reputation: 14201
Quote:
Originally Posted by middle-aged mom
Federal student loan proceeds are paid to the school. When proceeds are in excess of qualified expenses, the school issues a refund to the borrower. Some squander the refund.
Schools are allowed to disburse loans out over the course of a school year. You are only allowed so much for student loans per year so that amount is divided per semester. alot of people are shy to ask about disbursement of funds, but the school is used to people asking. The reason they try to steer you away from using all the money is because eventually you have to pay it back and it adds up fast. Have you already signed a prommissary note for your loan? Then you should have a receipt also showing what it will take for tuition and books. Whatever is left over is yours! You can do whatever you want with it. Loan disbursemnts (extra amount) is usually 1-2 months after school starts, maybe longer if you are a first time borrower. Just call financial aid and all you have to do is ask for the disbursement date on student loans for first time borrowers.
If you get a student loan then drop out of school, you will immediately be responsible to pay back student loan (student loans in good standing do not have to start being paid back till 6 months from last day of school) and you will be considered in defaulyt and will not be able to attend college untill all money is paid in full.
Answer I found as to how a student used his student loan money to pay his rent.
nd to the poster that said it couldn't happen because they need the student's ID - I filled out all my kids paperwork and had access to not only their SS - which all parents do - but also to their FAFSA ID
Time was student loan money went straight from the lender to the school.
Give it to some kids and they go on a vacation or use it for anything they please.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
I never took out student loans and I was shocked to find out it doesn't automatically go to the school. I mean, seriously? What do they expect to happen....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilot1
The entire Government backed student loan program is a SCAM. Why do you think tuition costs have gone up so much over the last 40 years? Way beyond the rate of inflation. Also, students are taking way long to complete college. Six years or more, just so they can run up more debt they now think will be forgiven.
Quote:
Originally Posted by middle-aged mom
Student loans proceeds are payable to the school. When the proceeds are in excess of qualified expenses, the school issues a refund to the student who borrowed the funds. Some students squander their refunds.
The Parent Plus Loan Program obligates the parent, not the student to repayment.
The OP’s story does not compute.
I owe over $168k in student loans. I had to take out extra for a long time because I was considered out of state and was charged higher tuition. The loan company (at first it was a bank and then it was a government lender years after I started) sent the money to the college and the college issued me a check for the amount over tuition. I used my residual money to pay rent and other basic living expenses. It was definitely not squandered. Had an employer employed me then I would've had the option to work my way through college and not run up as much debt. I had two years left when I started at the university in 1999 and it took until 2004 to finish those two years. I stayed sick and kept having to have surgeries and having to reapply to get back into the college. I had trouble keeping up with the other students. I hated having to go to college, and if an employer had hired me I would've tried working instead.
After I graduated, I still couldn't get a job, so I went to graduate school. I was a single mother and had to have some form of money to keep a roof over our heads. I had to continue to live off student loans. I dropped out because of illness from the graduate school. The government finally forced ex to pay child support and that kept us from being homeless. I briefly worked some low wage jobs until I got fired from each one due to my multiple medical problems. No employer wanted to accommodate so many health problems. I was finally put on disability from 2011 until they kicked me off couple months ago, even though my health problems have got worse.
I have known for some time that I will never have the ability to pay the loans back. I will never have employment. I am in my 40s now and employers don't usually even want to consider someone at my age. So, I am too old, too unhealthy, have almost a ten year employment gap, and have no personal references. I still cannot get hired and retained for even minimum wage jobs. Not my fault, but I am still the one punished.
I did use financial aid residuals to at times get a cheap car to get around. Kind of hard to walk across town to drop off your child at day care and go to the other side of town to go to classes with no transportation. The cars broke down a lot because you can't get much of a vehicle for what little money you have left over after tuition, books, rent, etc. After I got approved for in-state tuition rates that really helped. They had to make an exemption for me to qualify because ordinarily you had to live in the state for a year working and not go to college for that year. But since I was too worthless for employment I could never have met that requirement.
I do not think I squandered the money at all. I did not drink or use drugs. I probably could've used drugs since I have been in severe pain most of my life and the doctors just tell me to take advil or tylonel, like that helps. I cannot even describe the amount of pain I live with, but I am not given any pain meds whatsoever. I know I will never be employed. If I lose the disability appeal, which is likely since they already made up their minds from the beginning, I am dead. There is no more financial aid eligibility. No employer wants me. You cannot live without money. I won't even have a vehicle to live in anymore. They are about to repo the one I have any day now since I can't make payments with zero income. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
I did the best I could with the unhealthy body God condemned me to live with. It's kind of hilarious in a way that I used to be so skinny people thought I was anorexic when my family just starved me and I was sick even then. I was physically active. The sicker I became the less I could do physically. The more weight I gained as a result. Now they are pointing at my weight as the cause of the illnesses when the illnesses played a huge factor in the weight gain. I used to be so skinny that the smallest size in the store when I was a teen was a six and it was baggy on me. I was constantly sick even then, but I had a lot more energy. It played a somewhat prejudicial role in the disability decision, along with the other reasons. Even though it is documented I had illnesses before the weight gain, the theme is that I am just lazy bum and that if I just lost the weight I would be fine.
I have been trying to accept that I am going to die. Either I am going to die in the streets or I can die at home before I get thrown out of disability housing after I lose the rest of the appeal. I am not going to get my hopes up that I will receive any kind of justice. So, the loans are a moot point to me. I know they won't be paid back. I've known that for a long time. I don't expect taxpayers to pay for it. I don't know what will happen about the accounts after I'm dead. I can't do a thing about it. They've been in IBR for years now and if it weren't for IBR they would've been in default a long time ago.
All I had to do was finish my thesis, which I had already partly written at the time I was awarded disability, in order to finish the worthless master's degree. So, it took me from 2006 to 2013 to finish a 2 year master's degree program, although I stopped being eligible for any financial aid in 2009. After I lost my daughter in 2011 I kept working on the thesis every now and then in order to distract myself. I was very suicidal back then and had to struggle to find a reason not to do it. I had and still have zero friends. My thesis chair acted as a partial therapist at the same time. My family caused me to lose my daughter and then after my daughter came back my family did all they could to cause me to lose my income. I have a very toxic, abusive family. My family succeeded in destroying me the rest of the way couple of months ago. True, it wasn't the entire family like it was in 2011. My mother and daughter actually tried to help me this time, but the authorities did not care. Fraud was alleged so I therefore must be guilty. Anything my father said to people about me has always been believed no matter what it was, and there was never anything I could do about it. Now that I don't even have the means to financially support myself, I am running out of reasons not to do it. Maybe I will be better off though. I am worn out from all these years fighting against everyone.
Even when I was really little, my father would do stuff like kill my pets. He'd get usually a kitten and wait until I get attached to it, and then he'd kill it. A couple of times I cried and told school staff and my father and the family lied and said I killed it and told them what a monster I am. I was kept socially isolated for the most part. The school staff would always believe it and start treating me bad. And I eventually learned my lesson and didn't talk about it as much. Everyone else was fine with the way I was treated. If the adults refuse to do anything when something is happening then why am I to blame for nothing being done about it? I have never had the power to do anything.
Now I am an adult and the world still believes my father and the family. I know I will never be believed. I will never be helped or rescued. I kept filling out job applications and trying to be independent, and society didn't want me in it. I wish there was something else I could do, but I have been homeless so many times and lived in my vehicle. I was never totally in the streets and I still had trouble coping. I never could handle it. Once I lose the appeal the rest of the way I am not even eligible for housing and I will be put into the streets to die. Or if I run out of money to pay rent before a decision is made it will be the same thing. Even with zero income you have to pay $52/month. I took the last disability payment out of the bank and that's what I have to stretch out until the end no matter what the ending is.
But I never asked the taxpayer to pay off the student loans. I would've been content to leave them in IBR for the rest of my life. Had I not took out the student loans though I'd been dead a long time ago. It's not like I really had any other options. I applied for jobs everywhere and usually couldn't even get a job interview. Then the times I did get an interview I was asked about why I hadn't been working and I explained that I'd been job hunting. I would get told they'd call me and then never hear anything. If I kept contacting them for an update they would sometimes tell me they just chose someone else. But no job for me. I even got rejected for volunteer positions. I am too worthless to even give my labor away. If I'd known all of this would happen I would've kept that job I had when I was 16 and dropped out of school like they wanted. At least I'd been employed. But I was told if I stayed in school and made good grades I'd be able to get scholarships for college and that I'd be able to get a job anywhere and that no one would hire a dropout. I listened to people I was told to trust as a child. Other than work study jobs, which I rarely ever got, and jobs that lasted less than a week before being fired for my health problems, I didn't have job until I got hired as a temp at Walmart in 2007. Then Walmart wrote me up for my health problems and went through the company procedures before firing me. The only reason I lasted so long with them was their company policy they follow before firing someone.
I have had people fraudulently take out loans in my name and I kept having to dispute it. They weren't student loans as far as I am aware. They wouldn't give me details about the loans because I didn't know the answers to security questions, but they sure kept coming after me for the money. There were even people using my information years ago to work jobs and I'd be like I didn't work there. Other people use my SSN more than I do and have been since I was a child. People intent to commit fraud will find a way. My SSN will probably be used by people long after I am gone.
Not sure what jobs you replied to but you seem to apply for the wrong ones. There are people working to mow lawns, etc. and they get a pay check. No references needed, but after a year you may end up with a reference, and move up.
There are criminals who are able to get a job. To me it sounds you either did something wrong or were blamed for something you didn’t do.
But there are people in your situation who pulled up their big boy/girl pants and stopped feeling sorry for themselves and started to look to make changes and started from the bottom up.
You can do that too. Most I see from your post is nobody wants to hire me, but it seems you are very particular in what you will accept. You already tried disability and were denied.
I know people who lost a lot and almost lost everything and had to start over and couldn’t get a job. But they only applied to certain jobs as they weren’t willing to take on what could work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yspobo
I owe over $168k in student loans. I had to take out extra for a long time because I was considered out of state and was charged higher tuition. The loan company (at first it was a bank and then it was a government lender years after I started) sent the money to the college and the college issued me a check for the amount over tuition. I used my residual money to pay rent and other basic living expenses. It was definitely not squandered. Had an employer employed me then I would've had the option to work my way through college and not run up as much debt. I had two years left when I started at the university in 1999 and it took until 2004 to finish those two years. I stayed sick and kept having to have surgeries and having to reapply to get back into the college. I had trouble keeping up with the other students. I hated having to go to college, and if an employer had hired me I would've tried working instead.
After I graduated, I still couldn't get a job, so I went to graduate school. I was a single mother and had to have some form of money to keep a roof over our heads. I had to continue to live off student loans. I dropped out because of illness from the graduate school. The government finally forced ex to pay child support and that kept us from being homeless. I briefly worked some low wage jobs until I got fired from each one due to my multiple medical problems. No employer wanted to accommodate so many health problems. I was finally put on disability from 2011 until they kicked me off couple months ago, even though my health problems have got worse.
I have known for some time that I will never have the ability to pay the loans back. I will never have employment. I am in my 40s now and employers don't usually even want to consider someone at my age. So, I am too old, too unhealthy, have almost a ten year employment gap, and have no personal references. I still cannot get hired and retained for even minimum wage jobs. Not my fault, but I am still the one punished.
I did use financial aid residuals to at times get a cheap car to get around. Kind of hard to walk across town to drop off your child at day care and go to the other side of town to go to classes with no transportation. The cars broke down a lot because you can't get much of a vehicle for what little money you have left over after tuition, books, rent, etc. After I got approved for in-state tuition rates that really helped. They had to make an exemption for me to qualify because ordinarily you had to live in the state for a year working and not go to college for that year. But since I was too worthless for employment I could never have met that requirement.
I do not think I squandered the money at all. I did not drink or use drugs. I probably could've used drugs since I have been in severe pain most of my life and the doctors just tell me to take advil or tylonel, like that helps. I cannot even describe the amount of pain I live with, but I am not given any pain meds whatsoever. I know I will never be employed. If I lose the disability appeal, which is likely since they already made up their minds from the beginning, I am dead. There is no more financial aid eligibility. No employer wants me. You cannot live without money. I won't even have a vehicle to live in anymore. They are about to repo the one I have any day now since I can't make payments with zero income. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
I did the best I could with the unhealthy body God condemned me to live with. It's kind of hilarious in a way that I used to be so skinny people thought I was anorexic when my family just starved me and I was sick even then. I was physically active. The sicker I became the less I could do physically. The more weight I gained as a result. Now they are pointing at my weight as the cause of the illnesses when the illnesses played a huge factor in the weight gain. I used to be so skinny that the smallest size in the store when I was a teen was a six and it was baggy on me. I was constantly sick even then, but I had a lot more energy. It played a somewhat prejudicial role in the disability decision, along with the other reasons. Even though it is documented I had illnesses before the weight gain, the theme is that I am just lazy bum and that if I just lost the weight I would be fine.
I have been trying to accept that I am going to die. Either I am going to die in the streets or I can die at home before I get thrown out of disability housing after I lose the rest of the appeal. I am not going to get my hopes up that I will receive any kind of justice. So, the loans are a moot point to me. I know they won't be paid back. I've known that for a long time. I don't expect taxpayers to pay for it. I don't know what will happen about the accounts after I'm dead. I can't do a thing about it. They've been in IBR for years now and if it weren't for IBR they would've been in default a long time ago.
All I had to do was finish my thesis, which I had already partly written at the time I was awarded disability, in order to finish the worthless master's degree. So, it took me from 2006 to 2013 to finish a 2 year master's degree program, although I stopped being eligible for any financial aid in 2009. After I lost my daughter in 2011 I kept working on the thesis every now and then in order to distract myself. I was very suicidal back then and had to struggle to find a reason not to do it. I had and still have zero friends. My thesis chair acted as a partial therapist at the same time. My family caused me to lose my daughter and then after my daughter came back my family did all they could to cause me to lose my income. I have a very toxic, abusive family. My family succeeded in destroying me the rest of the way couple of months ago. True, it wasn't the entire family like it was in 2011. My mother and daughter actually tried to help me this time, but the authorities did not care. Fraud was alleged so I therefore must be guilty. Anything my father said to people about me has always been believed no matter what it was, and there was never anything I could do about it. Now that I don't even have the means to financially support myself, I am running out of reasons not to do it. Maybe I will be better off though. I am worn out from all these years fighting against everyone.
Even when I was really little, my father would do stuff like kill my pets. He'd get usually a kitten and wait until I get attached to it, and then he'd kill it. A couple of times I cried and told school staff and my father and the family lied and said I killed it and told them what a monster I am. I was kept socially isolated for the most part. The school staff would always believe it and start treating me bad. And I eventually learned my lesson and didn't talk about it as much. Everyone else was fine with the way I was treated. If the adults refuse to do anything when something is happening then why am I to blame for nothing being done about it? I have never had the power to do anything.
Now I am an adult and the world still believes my father and the family. I know I will never be believed. I will never be helped or rescued. I kept filling out job applications and trying to be independent, and society didn't want me in it. I wish there was something else I could do, but I have been homeless so many times and lived in my vehicle. I was never totally in the streets and I still had trouble coping. I never could handle it. Once I lose the appeal the rest of the way I am not even eligible for housing and I will be put into the streets to die. Or if I run out of money to pay rent before a decision is made it will be the same thing. Even with zero income you have to pay $52/month. I took the last disability payment out of the bank and that's what I have to stretch out until the end no matter what the ending is.
But I never asked the taxpayer to pay off the student loans. I would've been content to leave them in IBR for the rest of my life. Had I not took out the student loans though I'd been dead a long time ago. It's not like I really had any other options. I applied for jobs everywhere and usually couldn't even get a job interview. Then the times I did get an interview I was asked about why I hadn't been working and I explained that I'd been job hunting. I would get told they'd call me and then never hear anything. If I kept contacting them for an update they would sometimes tell me they just chose someone else. But no job for me. I even got rejected for volunteer positions. I am too worthless to even give my labor away. If I'd known all of this would happen I would've kept that job I had when I was 16 and dropped out of school like they wanted. At least I'd been employed. But I was told if I stayed in school and made good grades I'd be able to get scholarships for college and that I'd be able to get a job anywhere and that no one would hire a dropout. I listened to people I was told to trust as a child. Other than work study jobs, which I rarely ever got, and jobs that lasted less than a week before being fired for my health problems, I didn't have job until I got hired as a temp at Walmart in 2007. Then Walmart wrote me up for my health problems and went through the company procedures before firing me. The only reason I lasted so long with them was their company policy they follow before firing someone.
I have had people fraudulently take out loans in my name and I kept having to dispute it. They weren't student loans as far as I am aware. They wouldn't give me details about the loans because I didn't know the answers to security questions, but they sure kept coming after me for the money. There were even people using my information years ago to work jobs and I'd be like I didn't work there. Other people use my SSN more than I do and have been since I was a child. People intent to commit fraud will find a way. My SSN will probably be used by people long after I am gone.
Not sure what jobs you replied to but you seem to apply for the wrong ones. There are people working to mow lawns, etc. and they get a pay check. No references needed, but after a year you may end up with a reference, and move up.
There are criminals who are able to get a job. To me it sounds you either did something wrong or were blamed for something you didn’t do.
But there are people in your situation who pulled up their big boy/girl pants and stopped feeling sorry for themselves and started to look to make changes and started from the bottom up.
You can do that too. Most I see from your post is nobody wants to hire me, but it seems you are very particular in what you will accept. You already tried disability and were denied.
I know people who lost a lot and almost lost everything and had to start over and couldn’t get a job. But they only applied to certain jobs as they weren’t willing to take on what could work.
I applied to everything within a 50 mile radius years ago listed whether I was qualified or not. Like some jobs required you to be able to lift a lot of weight, which I never could.
When I started job hunting when I was 16 I was very not liked in the area. It was assumed I am a lesbian because I started growing a beard when I was around ten/eleven years ago. Teachers even laughed when I'd get beat up. So, I had no friends and no real personal references to put down on an application. I put down my school teachers. I briefly had a job at a grocery store as a cashier making $4.40/hour, but when school started up again in the fall they wouldn't work around the high school schedule and told me I could drop out and get GED and continue to work there or I could quit and stay in high school. Stupid me chose wrong. I was only 16 and listened to the wrong people.
I did not get hired for a job again until I was 19, but I got fired from there because my husband I left kept showing up causing problems and his cop buddies refused to enforce the restraining order against him. My being there was a disruption they said. Word got around in the area what would happen if I was hired, so no one ever hired me again. I was trapped by court order to live within so many miles of my forced husband and he had even made it a point to consult with all the lawyers in the mile radius so that I couldn't get legal counsel. I had to break a court order to travel outside the radius in order to get a lawyer. The lawyer didn't believe me when I told her what was going on with my case and that I was under travel restrictions (I even had to get permission from the court to travel outside the radius) and I dared her to look at my case and see and I was angry and left because she was calling me a liar. I never heard anything more from her until she sent a letter agreeing to take my case if I paid so much money. (That was another thing my student loans paid for back then.) I paid the money and she took over my case. The travel restriction was lifted, but I still couldn't move outside the area.
I was almost homeless for good because the landlord in the local subsidized housing refused to issue me an apartment unless my husband was there too. She was friends with him. I had someone tell me a loophole in the living restriction where if he got 30 days notice and didn't file a motion then I could still do it. I had to take subsidized housing 2 miles outside the radius and to meet the requirements of notification without his realizing about the 30 days and I pretended like we were getting back together to distract him. A deadbeat father taught me the loophole and it likely saved my life, but it was hard acting like I suddenly wanted to be with the man my parents forced me to marry when I was a child for those 30 days. I still feel repulsed over it. I always hated him. But I was literally fighting for my life and the life of my child. He had been threatening to kill her and said it be my fault because I left him. He was really sadistic and I was terrified of him. He was really angry when he figured out that I just played him though. He figured out I wasn't getting back with him and that it was outside radius where I moved and went to complain and was told it was past the time frame. I would've had to have moved back in with him with my baby had I not done that though. I would've had nowhere else to go.
I couldn't afford the daycare centers around there. They charged almost minimum wage per hour and that's all the local jobs would pay in the new town. I'd have to pay more money for child care than the job would pay. There was a long waiting list for child care assistance. I went on that list in 96 or early 97, forget which now, and was still towards the bottom by the time his visitation rights were finally terminated and the moving restriction was removed against me in 1999. I was unable to even find an employer in that new town willing to work around child care schedule anyway. You were required to work nights and weekends and have pretty much open availability. The daycare was open from 6 am to 6 pm M-F, so even if I got the child care assistance I'd have a hard time finding a job. But I kept trying. If I had not had the moving restrictions removed I'd been in trouble because that area had work requirements and I was to work a job so many hours a week to keep the benefits. Well, I kept trying to work.
When I finally was able to flee that state I got my first job cleaning tables and floors in a food court. I ended up cleaning the whole thing very quickly, trying to impress the employer. Instead, I did too good of a job and everyone was sitting around waiting for something to do because I had done it all. So, I got fired my first day. I was told I didn't work well with others. I had cleaned everyone else's stations too. I keep forgetting about that one job. That job, the one as a sorter, and the one I had at a church nursery were the only ones I wasn't fired for health reasons. One of the co-workers was mad at me at the food court job though and told me I wasn't supposed to work fast that I was supposed to be slower. I remember being so confused. I thought I'd prove I was a hard worker. I kept applying for jobs. I'd be asked why I hadn't worked in so long and I was very honest. I explained the trouble I had in the previous state because of ex-husband. No one would hire me. I ended up having to go back to college in order to get student financial aid to pay rent and to meet the welfare requirements. I hated it. I was struggling really bad in college because of the health problems and the brain injury from one of the beatings. I used to be able to get A's and B's without any effort before my head was bashed into the wall. After the beating I had forgotten how to even do algebra, and I had tutored algebra as a work study position in the community college until the beating. It was like it was wiped from my brain and I was never able to relearn it, but I had originally learned it with no effort and had even had a 100 average my entire 9th grade year in high school in algebra. I never had to study it. I went back to the work study job after I had healed some from the beating and didn't even recognize the basic problems. I lost that work study job because of it and they wouldn't allow me to tutor a different subject. They acted like I had done something wrong. After the brain injury I struggled to make the same grades that I used to not have to put much effort into. The beating was August 31, 1995 and I still haven't been able to relearn algebra. I also lost the ability to play chess. No one had beat me at chess. I couldn't even remember what the pieces did when I tried to play again. Other than being taught what the pieces did, I originally learned it on my own. Never could relearn it.
The huge job gap and the lack of availability kept me from being hired for long. I was hired for a couple days as a sorter. I told them when I was hired that I had to be off at a certain time to pick up my daughter from daycare (new state didn't have the long wait list when I got her if you were on KTAP) and he agreed when I was hired. Then the second day they were backed up and he didn't want to let me off. They would've called CPS on me if I had stayed at the job instead of picking her up. I had to walk out on the job because my daughter came first. I was fired. I remember crying, but I kept filling out job applications. I filled them out everywhere. Most places that actually spoke to me told me I was overqualified because I had an associate's degree. They didn't care that I graduated with honors. That made me more overqualified in their view. I went from 2000 to 2007 before I was hired for a job again and that was Walmart. I was filling out applications everywhere all the time and kept getting turned down. I worked temp jobs for Walmart until 2009 when I was fired from the last one, again for health problems.
In April 2010 I finally accepted that God was never going to heal me or provide a job for me and filed for disability. I was approved in May 2011.
In this area I am seen as a monster who tried to murder my daughter, confessed to it, and got away with it. After I finally accepted my prayers would never be answered and that I would never get a job and my family would never change and love me I decided to not listen to my Christian friends anymore and I was going to sell all my stuff and move away with my daughter and cut off ties to the family. My family found out I was going to do this and I found out years later they had a little meeting to discuss how to get my daughter from me for good. They wanted the EIC and all the perks of having her babysit for them for free by having her live with them. They discussed what to say to CPS to ensure that she would be taken. They went there and claimed I had went into a rage and beat myself in the head until I blacked out. Interesting enough, there was no evidence that had happened. If someone had did that in front of you, wouldn't you call an ambulance or something? They claimed I had gone psycho and tried to gun my daughter down.
When I was raided without a warrant, the gun still had orange tape around the trigger where it was new and had never been used. It was unloaded. The ammo was still packed in a box somewhere from where I had moved recently to that location and was still unpacking. They claimed I was a hoarder because of all the boxes stacked around from the move. I had gotten a flea market booth as well and was pricing stuff to sell it off (so that I could move away from my family). They took pictures of the boxes stacked around as well as pictures of the mess they just made when they forced their way into the home and shoved me into stuff on the way in. The CPS social workers spread throughout the community the lies about me within days of the raid. Not one person ever helped me. My friends all abandoned me. When I reached out for help, everyone either ignored me or attacked me in some way. Romans 13 kept playing through my mind, and I knew God had never cared about me. The authorities He established over me were a terror to me even though I submitted to them. They willfully bore false witness against me. I was denied a trial after the court appointed lawyer stipulated me to the charges without my consent. My rapist ended up with full custody of my child conceived from the many rapes and I wasn't even allowed supervised visits in the end because I wouldn't go along with them and admit to things I never did. They had even said in documents and court that I suffered from "delusions" because I believed in God and the Bible. In order for the promises in Romans 13 to not be a lie, the promises have to only apply to His real children. From 2011 onward I knew that either God hadn't chosen me to be His child or God was a liar. Either way, what they did to me taught me about God's true character. Not only did they assassinate my character and give my child to a man who raped and tortured me, but they terrorized me frequently. Cops randomly but regularly showed up at my apartment without a warrant searching the place. I had already moved to a new apartment by then because they gave the other address to my ex husband even though he had threatened my life and they knew I'd been hiding from him. They came at all hours, even in the middle of the night. I was scared every time I heard a noise that they might be back. Someone finally told me that I should just stop answering the door, and I did. I kept a crutch under the door knob anyway because I'd been robbed so many times previously, but early one morning the cops were knocking and I didn't answer the door. The cop tried kicking my door in and ended up giving up because that crutch was keeping him from getting in all the way. From that point on they would wait until I left to go somewhere and come in and search while I was away.
A state trooper followed me one night when I was leaving somewhere and had me pull over. He was screaming in my face and threatening me. I knew from my criminal justice classes (that was my major) that he was trying to provoke me to action to justify a beating, so I made myself stay still and not respond. I made myself zone out like I used to do when my ex would rape me so that I wouldn't fully be there. After he screamed in my face for a long time he got tired of it and wrote me up for not having a seat belt on, even though it was clearly on. When the hearing time on the citation came up I discovered court wasn't even in session on that day for traffic like that and that there was a bench warrant issued for me because I didn't show up at the real time of the court date. I showed them the citation, scared I'd be cuffed for the first time in my life, and the traffic court judge they found to deal with the matter (they had hearings coming up for some other traffic issues but forget what) threw it out of court and canceled the bench warrant. That was the only time any court went into my favor, but it was a different court entirely that didn't have an agenda.
I did everything demanded on the CPS case going to their meetings and counseling, etc. They even admitted I did everything on the case plan, but said it wasn't good enough. They said I hadn't learned my lesson because I refused to take responsibility for the things I was accused of doing (that I hadn't done). They gave my child to my rapist and terminated all visitation. I would only get visitation if I admitted to stuff I didn't do and convince one of their CPS workers that I was sincere (they knew I wasn't guilty during all this time. My daughter even told everyone that stuff never happened and was begging not to go live with her father.) I have no idea what he did to her the years he had her, but she is nothing like she used to be. She escaped him after she turned 18 with help of her friends she made (he was refusing to let her move out) while he was away and ended up back out here. She freezes up if you ask her anything about what happened, so I don't ask anymore. She came back out here an alcoholic who hung out with drug junkies. She informed me he allowed her to drink the whole time she was out there. Some of his relatives use and even sell drugs, so she got to live her teen years around that life style. She is a stranger to me now.
I have lived with the reputation since 2011. I have been accosted so many times in public I lost count when someone recognized me. I have been jumpy when I even go to the store ever since. I have been spit on, cussed, and threatened. When I ate at a restaurant my food was messed with. At other businesses I'd be recognized and be made to leave. And I have to live with that weight on me.
I lost my disability because of my family. My daughter got back out here in 2015 and my father was upset we were talking again. See, he never wanted me to have her in the first place. He had never wanted me to have even one friend as a child. Towards the end of 2015 he tried to bully me into having my disability money go into his bank account. He'd control the money. He would control me. I refused. In January 2016 the lease on my apartment was up so I moved out into my truck trying to move out of state and away from him. He retaliated by filing a fraud complaint to the SSA claiming bunch of stuff, but he wrote it as though my daughter wrote it. The government investigated from the beginning as though I was guilty. There was no evidence of guilt since I wasn't guilty, so they twisted things and made things up to paint me as a fraud. For example, they used the three months I was homeless as though I was on a vacation and left out the fact I was homeless during that time. They claimed in the fraud report that my food stamps had been cut off and insinuated that I had committed food stamp fraud (I got a report from the food stamp office that disputed it, but the judge ignored all the evidence that discredited the fraud report) when my food stamps had never been cut off for fraud or any other reason. I discredited almost the entire fraud report except for items that couldn't be proved one way or the other. Then the fraud investigators wrote how they saw me eat food at a fast food restaurant without signs of anxiety and that I had talked on a cell phone. The only thing they got right in the fraud report was that I had a master's degree, but they couldn't even get right when I had got the thing. The SSA had known about the college education from the beginning and had discounted it twice because I couldn't work in that field. They had made out like I had hid it from them, but I had the original judge's letter where I was awarded disability and she talked about the education and said why she wasn't going to consider it. They actually committed fraud trying to frame me for fraud.
In order to fill out applications I need three personal references who have known me at least a year and are willing to say positive things about me. I have none. My applications go in the trash. I have tried to do odd jobs, but since the community believes I am a monster no one wants much to do with me unless they intend to harm me. I have had people try vigilante justice on me. I have trouble even selling my stuff on the local yard sale sites because people know my reputation. I used to sell stuff like that all the time before my reputation was ruined and did well. It helped me pay the bills.
I wouldn't know how to mow a lawn. I have never used a lawn mower. There are people all the time around here doing that sort of thing so there is more supply of labor than jobs. I cannot legally babysit or work around kids, which I used to do a lot. I was very good with kids. I am often afraid to be around kids much now because I fear being falsely accused again. If I stay away from people I am harder to accuse. I am physically disabled and have trouble doing a lot of stuff, especially as quick as other people. It's an employer's market. Why hire a woman in her 40s that has so many health problems when you can hire someone younger and healthier? And I would have to make enough to show a landlord I make 3x the rent to be approved on a rental application. Around here that's $1200 a month because cheapest apartments are around $400 plus utilities. I've never made that much. I have already applied literally everywhere since 1999 when I moved to this area. I'm in worse physical condition than when I started applying. How could I get hired to these places when they didn't want me when I was younger? It's not logical. And who is going to hire a disabled woman in her 40s to mow a lawn when there are dozens of young men around this area begging for odd jobs like that who can physically do the work?
I have been tempted to lie and say I was in prison before to explain the employment gap, but I haven't. I have no idea how much verification they'd do on that. I have had ex-cons get jobs instead of me before. That sure made me feel good. People go out of their way to help druggies and prison trash, but even when my biblical husband was beating me in front of them no one would help me.
There is nothing I can do about things. I went to court, told the truth, and lost anyway. The judge had his mind made up that I was a fraud and ignored anything that backed up what I said. The vocational expert even said I couldn't do the jobs listed on their websites. The judge ignored the expert and said I could do jobs the expert said I couldn't do and ruled against me. I have zero friends or social supports. I am a pariah around here thanks to my family. I haven't had a friend in over eight years, and obviously the ones I used to have weren't very good. They never stood by me or helped me. I haven't been employed since I was fired from the last job December 24, 2009. But see if the SSA says you're a fraud they no longer have to prove you can perform SGA. It's a loophole for them. There is no evidence that anyone would ever employ me and retain me. It's never happened before my whole life, and now I'm physically in worse shape than ever and I'm middle aged. I'm tired of people trying to sell me on a bunch of false hope. Only someone really stupid would believe something good would happen for them when it never has their whole life like that. I am mentally exhausted from fighting everything. It has been proven that I'm not worth saving anyway. I prayed and begged God for help for years while I kept having to fight. He never helped me. No one ever helped me. I am tired of fighting. There's nothing to fight for anyway.
^^^ My advise is to seek help from Dr. Phil and perhaps start your own thread about the problems in your life and to seek professional help.
Again, why would anyone else be responsible for student loans then the schools that over charge and students who willingly signed to pay these loans back.
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