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I had 3 sons and 3 grandsons My boys all were Into sports mechanics - lots of girls - lots of buddies - fishing, football, car buffs. I mostly was a single mom milt widow. If I have to comment on anything - lack of social life in schools- boys like to play rough - jump around- be competitive, challenging and mimic heroes. If the last gson did not go to football w little league clubs, I would worry. They can’t fight or be rough or play outside with out structure - coaches on a time frame. Any fight at school now they call the cops. I rem by brothers best friend- 5th grade started with some brawl they still friends today at 69 yrs old. Society stopped boys from being boys because of sex predators and gangs. Also lack of funds - moms have to Work 2 jobs, so there are no parents at home, in 90% of the cases. BTW. Where the dead beat dads? Ok? Boy lives with mom - does not stop dad from being a male role model!
That's what my kids tell me. I can't tell you how many times they've called it. No parent at home spells trouble. And, subpar daycare centers aren't much better. Kids need love and discipline, they need adult guidance.
I agree (as a retired psychiatric worker) that fatherless families "father hunger" is a major problem for kids, especially maybe for boys.
But I don't see how feminism has caused this, except in whatever empowerment women have experienced to be out of abusive relationships or earn a decent living. I hardly think feminism has caused many women to decide to be unmarried or single parents. If anything, support for birth control should have encouraged women not to bear children unless in a stable and productive relationship. As an feminist and observer of the social situation and news headlines all my life, I do think that rampant unstable childbearing has helped to create this father hunger in the children of these situations.
The headlines about the stray educated high-income woman who has a child without marriage/relationship is a media invention (such people interviewing each other). I know because some of these women are friends or former neighbors in the Northeast city where I lived for years.
In the more rural town where I now live, armies of young women of all stripes with children and babies in Target. Very young and who knows what the situation is.
I had a front row seat to the "murphy brown" moment back around 1990 or so. A number of gals I knew actually did get pregnant as single moms as it had been portrayed as some sort of "girl power" thing.
It was not just headlines, there was a full-on push to destigmatize single moms.
This was in small-town, middle america.
I think some people grossly underestimate the power of these media blitzes.
There is problem with fatherless families. There is a worse problem with drunk, drugged, addicted, or violent fathers in the home. It doesn't just impact boys.
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Originally Posted by SunGrins
There is problem with fatherless families. There is a worse problem with drunk, drugged, addicted, or violent fathers in the home. It doesn't just impact boys.
I had a front row seat to the "murphy brown" moment back around 1990 or so. A number of gals I knew actually did get pregnant as single moms as it had been portrayed as some sort of "girl power" thing.
It was not just headlines, there was a full-on push to destigmatize single moms.
This was in small-town, middle america.
I think some people grossly underestimate the power of these media blitzes.
I guess I'm guilty of gross underestimation. Honestly. I was always, in those days, living in educated liberal areas and one of the first things I ever knew about being a parent was that having a child could make you broke, stuck, bored, trapped... you get the idea.
I guess I give people more credit than they deserve for being self-motivated and not buying wholesale whatever advertising and media nonsense is around. I certainly would think that young women would be aware of how broke and dependent they could be if they have a child as a single parent. (I admit I could be terribly wrong).
I do remember being surprised when Farrah Fawcett's unmarried childbearing was on the cover of People Magazine. Glamorized it beyond destigmatizing.
Author and psychologist Dr. Warren Farrell was a leading male feminist, the only man ever elected three times to serve on the board of the National Organization for Women in New York City. What happened to change his mind? Compelling reading (or watch video which has more details), especially for parents -- and law enforcement
In his view, the lack of a father figure in the home is the single greatest predictor of what he describes as “the boy crisis”: across developed nations, boys are doing worse than girls in every academic subject, but especially in reading and writing. And more boys suffer from a lack of purpose, mental illness, and addiction to various kinds of immediate gratification
In 56 of the largest developed countries, boys were having problems,” Farrell said. In these countries, he said, it’s more socially permissible for married couples to divorce and for unmarried women to have children. And the boys who grew up in such fatherless families tend to fare worse than their counterparts in intact families.”
“Feminism has become its own form of toxicity. And this really needs to be confronted,” Farrell said. “When only one sex wins, both sexes lose.”
Do you watch NFL and their personal stories. Many have been raised by their mother because the father wasn't around. They call their mom a driving source to be the best they can. Who is this guy anyway and why do we care about his opinion
I had 3 sons and 3 grandsons My boys all were Into sports mechanics - lots of girls - lots of buddies - fishing, football, car buffs. I mostly was a single mom milt widow. If I have to comment on anything - lack of social life in schools- boys like to play rough - jump around- be competitive, challenging and mimic heroes. If the last gson did not go to football w little league clubs, I would worry. They can’t fight or be rough or play outside with out structure - coaches on a time frame. Any fight at school now they call the cops. I rem by brothers best friend- 5th grade started with some brawl they still friends today at 69 yrs old. Society stopped boys from being boys because of sex predators and gangs. Also lack of funds - moms have to Work 2 jobs, so there are no parents at home, in 90% of the cases.
BTW. Where the dead beat dads? Ok? Boy lives with mom - does not stop dad from being a male role model!
From my experience working as a substitute teacher and in other similar roles, I will say that while some boys are more rough and tumble, there are other boys that are not so much (although most seemed to be into video games.) What all young men need though, regardless of how traditionally masculine they are, and regardless of race or ethnicity or sexual orientation, is to navigate their way through the world of "brodom," where they learn how to interact and form friendships and bonds with each other. A lot of women don't quite understand how "brodom" works, and often are hostile to it. (See some ridiculous articles during the #MeToo movement trying to get rid of fraternities.) This is despite there being an equivalent "sisterhood" that's really important for girls to develop into young women. Men - whether they're fathers or teachers or coaches or whatnot, speak the same language of "brodom," and can prove extremely valuable models for boys to grow into the men that they will become.
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