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So, men are suckers and slaves of their hormones, they are willing to put up with and pay a lot for female companionship. No matter how deteriorated, expensive, useless and abusive relationships become for males, men still measure their purpose and worth in life through their access and service to women. who do not feel the need to reciprocate on that. Women serve themselves, men serve women. What's new? I say men deserve every bit of what they get, and if they have any sense at all they must adopt pragmatic calculating approach to relationships. You banned discussion on some relationship topics? No matter how you spin it that betrays fear. You see what you want to see, and I see females making marriage proposals to no avail. As with everything there is a distribution, and lots lots and lots of your sisters hold empty relationship bags because men are getting more pragmatic every year, female way.
I did not ban a thing. The mods banned the subject of certain disgruntled mens' groups, because far from going their own way, whatever way that was, they kept coming back for just one more sour-grapes "won't you be sorry when" flounce, and then peeking back in to see if the evil wimminz were crying woe and suffering yet. Which we were not. This became tiresome and these repetitive threads consistently devolved to gender-bashing flame wars, so they got the boot. But hey, there are plenty of other sites where lonely, fed up men can commiserate and claim to be happily abstaining from the game, or to be getting the upper hand in some way.
But it does highlight a reason why you see relationships as such miserable propositions. A relationship does not result in happiness and success for those involved in it, if anyone sees it as an opposition, rather than a partnership.
I've suffered abuse in a relationship with a man, yet you would never catch me claiming that women should boycott men because relationships are a consistently losing proposition for women. Which in many ways throughout hundreds of years of our history, they HAVE been. And they often still are--but they don't have to be. And that's the point. I lost 18 years of my life to a bad relationship, culminating in the aforementioned night where I was a captive audience at gunpoint to my ex. If that was not abuse, I'm not really sure what is. But nonetheless, a couple of years later, with my crap together and my head on straight, I'm willing to try again, and it's going far better this time around.
I was indeed far more selective at 36, than I was at 18. I was more wary of red flags and heeded my instincts. But it wasn't formal education, ambitious career prospects, wealth or even looks that drove my choice. It was the simple concept that if I were to commit to another partner, we had to be highly suitable companions, bringing one another comfort and happiness, not stress and misery. I've got that, now.
While I would agree with you that in many ways our society stacks the deck against upward mobility and prosperity for those not born to it, I cannot agree that we (men or women) are powerless, having no responsibility for our outcomes, or that the pursuit of happiness is futile due to "oppression" for most. The difference between someone like me, and someone like you, is that even at my lowest points...and I've been homeless in the past, so that's pretty low... I believed in my own ability to succeed and build a better future life for myself. I don't waste time looking for someone else to blame.
I doubt you speak for very many men. The men( or anyone for that matter) who attach their self worth to something external like that have a different kind of problem than you think they do. You might even calls them slaves to an idea.
Women have been lamenting the dearth of eligible men for a long time and managing to figure it out anyway.
Liberated womanhood experiences a shortage of "eligible" men for one and the only reason- women want a man who combines opposite qualities in a preferably attractive and financially secure body of a psychic and good actor. A desirable cowboy today is a submissive, not imposing upwardly mobile alpha male who leads but only when a woman wants him to lead, yet he should figure out when to lead without asking questions and he should create a make believe spectacle of him leading and taking charge when he is not. Is it too much to ask for a submissive go getter who makes you feel he is charge to get your juices and emotions flowing. An alpha monkey who does not impose any demands and expectations on you and your life? Is it too much to ask?
Liberated womanhood experiences a shortage of "eligible" men for one and the only reason- women want a man who combines opposite qualities in a preferably attractive and financially secure body of a psychic and good actor. A desirable cowboy today is a submissive, not imposing upwardly mobile alpha male who leads but only when a woman wants him to lead, yet he should figure out when to lead without asking questions and he should create a make believe spectacle of him leading and taking charge when he is not. Is it too much to ask for a submissive go getter who makes you feel he is charge to get your juices and emotions flowing. An alpha monkey who does not impose any demands and expectations on you and your life? Is it too much to ask?
You know something, RememberMee, if we were playing a game of "spot the AI" instead of interacting casually on a message board I would have called you out along time ago.
I might suggest a little introspection at this juncture because you're making life a lot harder on yourself then it has to be.
Edit: after reading your link I went more for hot guy (evoluntary wise..\m/ in walks her daddy 6'4 \m/...) with solid intelligence but also sucks at being supportive with no leadership skills whatsoever. I solved that by having supportive friends. The leadership thing turned out in my favor because I have no one trying to get in on my decisions.
Last edited by L8Gr8Apost8; 09-06-2019 at 02:56 PM..
Reason: cherry pie
You know something, RememberMee, if we were playing a game of "spot the AI" instead of interacting casually on a message board I would have called you out along time ago.
I might suggest a little introspection at this juncture because you're making life a lot harder on yourself then it has to be..
Oh, another morally superior one... Mercy, please, your majesty!
It is true (as RememberMe explains) that women have a lot of privilege (rights that are not granted to men) in both the culture and the legal system. Too many women are abusing this privilege, so you just have to avoid those like lepers. Less number of good choices remain, but still some left. Since women have a lot more privilege than men, if a woman ends up with a violent abusive man, it is all her fault because she had lots of choices (due to all the privileges), but she was stupid and was attracted to "bad guys" being incompetent in judging human qualities.
In the economy, no one is oppressed right now, you can enter/leave employment at free will, if you have cultivated economically valuable skills for yourself.
I did not ban a thing. The mods banned the subject of certain disgruntled mens' groups, because far from going their own way, whatever way that was, they kept coming back for just one more sour-grapes "won't you be sorry when" flounce, and then peeking back in to see if the evil wimminz were crying woe and suffering yet. Which we were not. This became tiresome and these repetitive threads consistently devolved to gender-bashing flame wars, so they got the boot. But hey, there are plenty of other sites where lonely, fed up men can commiserate and claim to be happily abstaining from the game, or to be getting the upper hand in some way.
But it does highlight a reason why you see relationships as such miserable propositions. A relationship does not result in happiness and success for those involved in it, if anyone sees it as an opposition, rather than a partnership.
I've suffered abuse in a relationship with a man, yet you would never catch me claiming that women should boycott men because relationships are a consistently losing proposition for women. Which in many ways throughout hundreds of years of our history, they HAVE been. And they often still are--but they don't have to be. And that's the point. I lost 18 years of my life to a bad relationship, culminating in the aforementioned night where I was a captive audience at gunpoint to my ex. If that was not abuse, I'm not really sure what is. But nonetheless, a couple of years later, with my crap together and my head on straight, I'm willing to try again, and it's going far better this time around.
I was indeed far more selective at 36, than I was at 18. I was more wary of red flags and heeded my instincts. But it wasn't formal education, ambitious career prospects, wealth or even looks that drove my choice. It was the simple concept that if I were to commit to another partner, we had to be highly suitable companions, bringing one another comfort and happiness, not stress and misery. I've got that, now.
While I would agree with you that in many ways our society stacks the deck against upward mobility and prosperity for those not born to it, I cannot agree that we (men or women) are powerless, having no responsibility for our outcomes, or that the pursuit of happiness is futile due to "oppression" for most. The difference between someone like me, and someone like you, is that even at my lowest points...and I've been homeless in the past, so that's pretty low... I believed in my own ability to succeed and build a better future life for myself. I don't waste time looking for someone else to blame.
You make awfully too many assumption about me. You link having views on this or that issue with the size of a bank account and "success" or lack of it. That's just wrong. Most of the revolutionaries were born "priviledged" not poor. Most of intellectual ponderings on slavery, wage slavery and poverty was not created by slaves, janitors and people on food stamps.
We are social creatures. Even men burnt beyond recognition by their female companions cannot find much meaning outside of relationships though some claim they did. Those men sharing their pov are valuable resource for younger males in the age of single motherhood. In the past a young male programmed by his single mother to be a "nice" doormat boy for women would have spent many years of his life, not speaking of heart aches, money and energy to create a more realistic picture of the opposite sex in his head. Sour grapes men give those men headstart their absent or repressed fathers failed to provide. Sour grape men destroy social conditioning and thus they are silenced not just by CD.
Even enlightened new you base your relationship decisions on "feeling good", if I know anything about anything that feeling can evaporate overnight for no particular reason. Then what? Right. You call that underperforming male names and move on. Life happens, good feelings come and go usually as a result of man hitting a rough spot of some kind or another. A feel good woman tends to abandon a man dragging her down making a bad situation much worse for a man. Women are biologically programmed to abandon stumbling men. Add to that biology cultural conditioning of "living life to its fullest" and you get a shaky feel good union of two independent agents. A male agent tend to be less pragmatic than a female agent and he pays the price. And that price is too high. But for as long as a woman is relatively young and she has some reproductive potential left in her, men are willing to risk and pay that price. Come back at 46 and tell us how far more selective you'll become and what breeds of cats your increased selectivity will get you at that age.
You make awfully too many assumption about me. You link having views on this or that issue with the size of a bank account and "success" or lack of it. That's just wrong. Most of the revolutionaries were born "priviledged" not poor. Most of intellectual ponderings on slavery, wage slavery and poverty was not created by slaves, janitors and people on food stamps.
We are social creatures. Even men burnt beyond recognition by their female companions cannot find much meaning outside of relationships though some claim they did. Those men sharing their pov are valuable resource for younger males in the age of single motherhood. In the past a young male programmed by his single mother to be a "nice" doormat boy for women would have spent many years of his life, not speaking of heart aches, money and energy to create a more realistic picture of the opposite sex in his head. Sour grapes men give those men headstart their absent or repressed fathers failed to provide. Sour grape men destroy social conditioning and thus they are silenced not just by CD.
Even enlightened new you base your relationship decisions on "feeling good", if I know anything about anything that feeling can evaporate overnight for no particular reason. Then what? Right. You call that underperforming male names and move on. Life happens, good feelings come and go usually as a result of man hitting a rough spot of some kind or another. A feel good woman tends to abandon a man dragging her down making a bad situation much worse for a man. Women are biologically programmed to abandon stumbling men. Add to that biology cultural conditioning of "living life to its fullest" and you get a shaky feel good union of two independent agents. A male agent tend to be less pragmatic than a female agent and he pays the price. And that price is too high. But for as long as a woman is relatively young and she has some reproductive potential left in her, men are willing to risk and pay that price. Come back at 46 and tell us how far more selective you'll become and what breeds of cats your increased selectivity will get you at that age.
I will take that challenge and come back in 6 years to let you know how my relationship is going.
It's been fantastic for the last 4.
I could tell you a whole lot about my life, and the lives of many other people I know, that disproves everything you've said, in so many ways. Happiness is not, for me, a fleeting thing that vanishes the instant the going gets tough.
But hey, if it makes you feel better to surrender all accountability (and credibility) so that you can declare that all problems of poor, poor suffering men in this world, are all the fault of women... Well man I don't know what to tell you. Other than...try not to kill anybody, dude.
Oh, another morally superior one... Mercy, please, your majesty!
It is true (as RememberMe explains) that women have a lot of privilege (rights that are not granted to men) in both the culture and the legal system. Too many women are abusing this privilege, so you just have to avoid those like lepers. Less number of good choices remain, but still some left. Since women have a lot more privilege than men, if a woman ends up with a violent abusive man, it is all her fault because she had lots of choices (due to all the privileges), but she was stupid and was attracted to "bad guys" being incompetent in judging human qualities.
In the economy, no one is oppressed right now, you can enter/leave employment at free will, if you have cultivated economically valuable skills for yourself.
I don't mean to kink shame but that's not my thing.
I didn't introduce anything of a moral issue in my reply (I think). Everyone I know has a habit of making life harder then it has to be and some of us have elevated it to an art form. No right/no wrong...just life.
On CD forums? That is a definite option if your mind speaks along the accepted (by who knows whom) lines, anything else - you pay the price. Sure, they do not drag you to Siberia but they'll make sure that some career/job disturbing/ending events will encourage you to think twice the next time (or sign up with CD, but even here there is a price to pay for typing this or that).
I find it surprising that even in L inkedin you can find such people. Their full name, designation and company is visible, yet they arent afraid to speak their views.
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