should men have a choice in an abortion (illegal, abortions, private school)

[jmarquise]

does anyone out there think that a man should have a say in an abortion? if a woman get pregnant and wants an abortion and the man does not, he has no voice. if a woman gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby, and he does not, he has no voice. if the man has no voice, why is the man then automatically responsible for paying child support for 18 years for a kid he gets to see a couple of weekends a month? here is the way I believe it breaks down. two people consent to sex. the woman gets pregnant and decides to have the child even though the man does not. once the child is born it's "her baby." man has no voice in any decision making and woman can be critical of man's parenting ability. the child is raised by the mother and all decisions are made by her. why then does the man have to pay child support if he has absolutely no say in the child's life? I don't think that is very fair. if the man has to pay that much in child support, he should have a say in the way the child is raised and they should alternate weeks or something. any thoughts?

[katzenfreund]

When the man is the one that has to carry the pregnancy to term, that is when it is his choice. He isn't the one going through pregnancy and labor. Maybe men that have the opinion that they "should have a say" , should chose their sex-partners very wisely (which would be smart in any case), to ensure that they are both on the same page.

How would those that think men should "have a say" enforce this, do you want to lock the woman up in prison to make sure she carries to term?

[tinman01]

Thats a good question.
If the woman decides to carry to term then the man is required to pay child support. And rightfully so. It took two to tango and the man should be held accountable for his part.
If the woman decides to abort, The man is often required to pay a portion of the expense. Once again rightfully so.
The sticky part is when the woman decides to abort and the man wants the child. At this point the state does not recognize his rights as the father. Its a double standard to be sure. That said its not him that has nine months of life and body changing sacrifice to deal with. Its a permanant change for the woman.
I tend to side with it being her choice.

[StoneOne]

Very good question.

I tend to take the view that yes, if he can demonstrate his commitment to care for the child without the woman, then he should be able to use the courts to force her to carry to term. Under no circumstances should he ever be "required" to contribute financially to an abortion.

If we're going to have legalized abortion for purely elective reasons like we do, then there ought to be a point up to which a man can opt out of responsibility in the event the woman wants to carry the child to term. The logical point would be the stage at which elective abortions become illegal.

[jmarquise]

I know someone who had a child with a guy she barely knew. she then moved 500 miles away from the person and he now sees the child twice a year. then the mother demanded more money so she could send her child to private school. the guy is paying almost $1000 per month to support a child he sees twice a year. how is this justifiable?

[TwiloMike]

I agree that the man, like the woman, should have an out.

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by tinman01

Thats a good question.
If the woman decides to carry to term then the man is required to pay child support. And rightfully so. It took two to tango and the man should be held accountable for his part.
If the woman decides to abort, The man is often required to pay a portion of the expense. Once again rightfully so.
The sticky part is when the woman decides to abort and the man wants the child. At this point the state does not recognize his rights as the father. Its a double standard to be sure. That said its not him that has nine months of life and body changing sacrifice to deal with. Its a permanant change for the woman.
I tend to side with it being her choice.

I've never heard of this. Sure, she can ASK him to share the expense... but I've never heard of a man being COMPELLED to pay for an abortion. Enlighten me?

As for choice... here's the choice, right here. No, nothing is guaranteed, but how many of those protesting later on (child support) really exercised THIS choice? C'mon.

Google Image Result for http://pimpedfiction.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/condom.jpg

[jmarquise]

I also think that maybe there should be a cap put on child support.

[gradco2004]

I think that if the mother can give the baby up (abortion)... the only fair thing to do is allow the father to give the baby up (no financial support). That's the only fair thing to do in my mind.

[jmarquise]

that's pretty much my feelings on it.

Originally Posted by gradco2004

I think that if the mother can give the baby up (abortion)... the only fair thing to do is allow the father to give the baby up (no financial support). That's the only fair thing to do in my mind.