Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Defensive, knee-jerk reactions are so common that he may have been responding to something he experienced 10 years ago
But for the question:
I've experienced racism among blacks, whites and non-white Hispanics at an intolerable rate these last 10 years--an huge increase in the years since the 70s-90s.
I worked in the public health community and the disparity was so great in choice, access, and degree of one of several health indicators that racial epithets became the norm rather than the exception.
Everything from job opportunities, health options, funding, demographic data, and more became a landmine. Segregation increased, hatred escalated, and misunderstanding grew.
It was a tiresome battle, and one I only rarely won.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLastMove
I had an interesting thing happen to me just this past week. My son loaned a Gameboy game to a friend of his at Tae Kwon Do last Thursday. The boy was supposed to return it the next day. On Saturday morning my son again asked him for the game. He said he gave it to him but that my son must not have remembered it. So, I spoke to the father - hoping to have a reasonable conversation about an apparent misunderstanding. Needless to say, we were about 10 minutes into the conversation and the father got very defensive and said to me, "Look I'm a black man but I pay my bills, I don't take anything from anyone. I'm trying to move right now and have not asked anyone for help...doing it all myself. Your son is responsible for this because he loaned the game out and can't keep up with his stuff." I was so stunned I told him to forget the game and that race had nothing to do with this conversation. He just said, "Yeah, right" and walked away. So, what was THAT about???
I've experienced not really what I'd call racism, but rudeness and quips at times. However, I think a measure of my ignorance of what racism really feels like...being on the receiving end of it I mean, is that I don't recognize it when it happens to me. I'm so comfortable in my "skin" as it were and so removed from the issue personally that it never even enters my mind that comments I've had could even be racism. I instead just think the person is rude when it happens, which is very rare. I'm redheaded, blue-eyed and if you stuck me on a bicycle and dressed me in dress pants and a white dress shirt with a tie, I'd look like a Mormon missionary (I'm not Mormon).
That I am ignorant of even being aware of being on the receiving end of racism to me, when I think about it, shows me that there is really no way I can feel and experience what a victim of racism goes through other than intellectually.
I've experienced not really what I'd call racism, but rudeness and quips at times. However, I think a measure of my ignorance of what racism really feels like...being on the receiving end of it I mean, is that I don't recognize it when it happens to me. I'm so comfortable in my "skin" as it were and so removed from the issue personally that it never even enters my mind that comments I've had could even be racism. I instead just think the person is rude when it happens, which is very rare. I'm redheaded, blue-eyed and if you stuck me on a bicycle and dressed me in dress pants and a white dress shirt with a tie, I'd look like a Mormon missionary (I'm not Mormon).
That I am ignorant of even being aware of being on the receiving end of racism to me, which when I think about it, shows me that there is really no way I can feel and experience what a victim of racism goes through other than intellectually.
So you never had anyone say something to you with a scowl and malice in their voice?
So you never had anyone say something to you with a scowl and malice in their voice?
Yes, I've experienced that from non-whites before. But I have never attributed it to racism, just bad manners. Being a victim of racism just doesn't enter my mind. That's what I meant. I doubt I'm the only white man who can say the same thing. And, it's a measure of the divide that still exists in this country in my opinion that even if called racist names, I don't attribute it to genuine racism. I am speaking for me, not anyone else.
Your son learned a valuable life lesson, and got off pretty cheap. As for that father, he's only breathing life into a stereotype, and probably knows his kid has the game.
Never lend anything to anyone that you would not be willing to just give away. lol, sorry to be so cynical, but I got tired of the scorch marks. I actually keep almost two complete sets of tools. The stuff I use, and the stuff I lend. I'm always happy to lend out my 15 year old Black and Decker stuff, but I never lend my high end stuff. It's always "broken", or "acting funny", lol. I didn't spend thousands of dollars so my neighbor can save a few bucks every time he needs something. I don't borrow tools myself, I just buy it when I need it. I don't expect my neighbors to finance my home improvement projects.
-TT
I don't think you're cynical...that's exacty what we told him. Funny thing, the tenet they were studying that week in TKD was integrity.
I have never been discriminated against because of my race. I have been discriminated against because of my job, my religion, my regional origin, who I chose to date, and even because of the origin of my car.
I think people are, sometimes, too quick to blame their treatment on racism (as defined at www.m-w.com) (broken link), when there are other issues or causes. TheLastMove's anecdotal story is a testament to that type of mentality.
I'm not trying to say that it doesn't happen. There are unfortunately, way too many people who believe that their race is superior. Whereas I take much the opposite view, in that there are just way to much anecdotal evidence that no race is in and of itself, superior. (By "anecdotal evidence" I'm referring to the idiots of the world, all to quick to get their 15 minutes of fame. See the Jerry Springer show for examples.)
I'm a bit of a wallflower, and I have noticed that many people seem to classify people into "those like me" and "those not like me", or "us" and "them". The "us" group is implicitly trusted until individuals violate that trust. The "them" group is never trusted, and it's only individuals that "earn" trust by their actions. My personal belief is that this "us" and "them" dichotomy is ingrained into the human psyche and is to blame for much of the discord in our world.
I try very hard to resist that inclination to classify people as a part of "us" and "them". Every one I deal with, I try to trust trust them implicitly. But at the same time, I also try to stay aware of what schemes, scams, tricks, and traps people use to take advantage of others.
I have worked with people of all races, religions, and ethnic backgrounds. And I am open minded enough to have dated women of other races. I have issues with work ethics, not ethnics.
I once got beat up by some teenagers. They happened to be black. A black man pulled them off me. They listened to him and respected what he said, despite the fact that they could have easily beat him up too. A brave man, I wish I knew his name so I could thank him.
After this unpleasantness, I staggered into a convenience store nearby, and the lady behind the counter, who I knew casually, says to me, "it must have been those BLACKS, it's those BLACKS, they're LIKE THAT."
What was weird about this was that this lady was Filipino. I told her with all the assertiveness I could muster (I had blood running down my face) that they were KIDS, PUNK-ASS KIDS, and that was all they were.
What was she trying to do, build up brownie points with me, the "master race" or something? Bleeccchhh.
People sure are weird.
Last edited by Dedalus; 01-19-2007 at 01:35 PM..
Reason: I still can't spell "convenience" in one try
I'm a bi-product of a "multiracial" marriage (though, technically, its a multiethnic relationship) and as such I have seen firsthand racism and prejudice against both groups.
For example, many outsiders don't identify the relationship between my mother (or her relatives) and I because we have visibly different skin tones. I can't even count the number of times, from dining out to seeking family discounts at amusement parks, that people have been hesitant to acknowledge interracial families and relationships.
I attended school and worked in a community with a high Hispanic population for many years. Countless Hispanics presumptuously addressed me in Spanish and countless non-Hispanics negatively assumed that I only spoke Spanish. While I am not a native Spanish speaker but am highly conversational, I have occasionally refused to respond in Spanish because I maintain that such asinine presumptions are offensive.
Though it seems minute in comparison, my household receives endless amounts of Spanish-focused advertisements because of our surname. What's that all about about?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
