The Politics of Having Kids (unemployment, generations, drug, statistics)

[chielgirl]

I'm going to ask a question here, and I know it's going to be unpopular. I also know that I'll be attacked.

Why in the world do so many parents on this board still think that everyone should have kids?
Having a child is not for everyone, I wish it were not the default.

In the last 3 or 4 days, parents have posted three horrendous stories about bad parenting, some that have resulted in the deaths of their kids, and others of abuse and abandonment. These stories made national headlines, most abuse cases don't.

Child Abuse
According to data from the Administration on Children and Families, in 1998 there were an estimated 2,806,000 referrals of child abuse or neglect to relevant state or local agencies. These referrals resulted in an estimated 903,000 confirmed victims of maltreatment, a rate of 12.9 per 1,000 children nationwide. Of these, 11.5 percent suffered sexual abuse, 22.7 percent suffered physical abuse, and 53.5 percent suffered neglect. A quarter were victims of more than one type of maltreatment. Additionally, approximately 1,100 children died of abuse or neglect, a rate of 1.6 deaths per 100,000 children. Of all forms of abuse, about three quarters of the perpetrators were parents.

What about the guy who gave up 9 of his 10 kids; he was what, 34? What was he thinking to have 10 kids when he had a history of being unemployed. Safe haven in Nebraska could become a mental health center He has a history of unemployment, eviction notices and unpaid bills and could not make ends meet. Yet, that served as no deterrent to having kids.

What are some people thinking? Apparently, they're not.

Having a child does not equate to wanting them or having the wherewithal to care for them. It would be better to err on the side of not having kids.

This is a real question of “what about the chillllldddrrreeeeeennnnn?”

Please DO NOT MOVE THIS thread to the parenting forum.
This is about the politics involved; you know what will happen as soon as you move it to the parenting forum.

[TKramar]

And then you find someone who's made that decision, and they ask, "What's wrong with YOU?"

Not everyone needs to have children to have a fulfilled life.

[chielgirl]

That's the point, T.
Statistically, some of those people will be abusing or neglecting their kids.

The other two stories were about a woman going down on her male infant and sending the video to her friend; another was a woman (an educator) who had a history of leaving her kid in a vehicle. That kid is now dead.

Luckily, I knew that I didn't have enough interest to be a parent and my husband and I were both sterilized in our early 20s.

[dvcgal]

Women should not be forced into having children. Too many people out there are not cut-out to be parents but the responsibility of parenting mainly falls on the mother to make sure that her child(ren) is taken care of, feed, has clothing, etc, especially when the men disappear. It's very sad, but I am not sure how we put a stop to this kind of unnecessary abuse. We most certainly need more social workers to go out and work cases of child abuse and that would include increasing their pay. I don't know, but it seems like more and more children are abused each year and it seems like the abuse keeps getting worse and worse. It's very sad.

[ViewFromThePeak]

Women are not forced into having children. I knew a wonderful woman, well educated, nice, and giving. She didn't want children, so we had to break up. As nice as she is, her dating options are much more limited. Not to say she can't find a nice guy to be with, just that many otherwise compatible mates are filtered out. Of course I'll be disproved by several childless women who had no problems finding a man, but you know that I'm correct on an aggregate scale.

If this is considered forcing women to have kids, that's pretty weak.

[GloryB]

I'm not sure there are any statistics proving that the women who didn't want children, but ended up getting pregnant, abuse their children. It could just as well be the other way around. People who abuse their children have some sort of mental illness or a drug/alcohol related dependency or some other factor which causes them to injure a child they may very well love. I agree that they shouldn't have children, but they seem to want children until the responsibility overwhelms them and they become a nightmare as a parent.

I don't think anyone who doesn't want children is forced to have them. There are plenty of short term and long term remedies for a female to keep from getting pregnant. If a female doesn't want children she should discuss this before marriage with her spouse. As for social pressure, she can either be honest and say she doesn't want children, or simply say she can't get pregnant.

I'm not sure I consider it a political issue....but it is a big social issue.

[PurpleLove08]

One of my biggest gripes is the child tax credit. I would prefer it be capped at two children.
I don't think day care should be subsidized by the government.
Women who are on welfare should be penalized should they have more kids once they are enrolled in the program.
Birth control, IUDs, condoms, etc should be made more accessible to women.

Birth control and abortions are not subsidized by federal funds-and not covered by many private medical plans either- but poor women can have their prenatal care and delivery taken care of. Whether or not these women are equipped to care for and pay for their unborn child seems to be irrelevant.

[jtur88]

There are two conflicting phenomena, which are on a collision course. They may, or may not, run a course that will fairly quickly spell the end of the species, as we cannot see into the future to determine if the airbags will deploy.

One is the parental instinct. This is, by necessity, the most powerful instinct of all, because no species could survive without it

The other is the capacity to reason, the capacity to override instinct, to think analytically about human behavior and make choices that are inconflict with evolved instinct.

People reproduce succeeding generations for the same reason that manatees and daffodils and headlice do. Humans also resist reproducing succeeding generations for a unique reason that only humans display.

On this cusp, there are individuals leaning to the extreme in each direction. and some conflicted in the middle. One acquaintance I have in mind is an extremeley, radically, independent and pro-choice female who has dedicated her entire life to bringing the world to a liberalism that she cherishes and aggressively advocates. Yet, she sometimes gets a dreamy look in her eye and says "I'd love to have a baby". She understands how hard she is being pulled in opposite directions by the two conflicting natures that are duking it out inside her.

"I have done my children the favor of not having them." ---Nietzsche

[camping!]

There is a subtle, yet strong societal influence to bring children into the world. As a species, its what we do. Plus, babies are cute and are fun to talk about.....and then too, for most people parenthood is something that is aspired to. Plus, the commonality of this desire goes across ethnic and religious lines --- in a nutshell, children is about as safe a topic of conversation that one can have, outside of the weather.

To not want children is not insane by any means....but it is outside the norm. The same with people (really women) who opt to never marry. I don't believe it is seen as 'bad', just odd. And of course, whenever a person goes against the flow the majority wants to know why. Rude? Sure it is....but I don't think it is inherently evil or manipulative.


As far as people who do have children and then abuse them.....I think the majority of those people wanted children to abuse. Just keeping that circle of dysfunctional life going They are at best broken people and at worst evil people and should not be considered in the same league as people who choose to remain childless.

[silas777]

I am all for big families and have many friends with 3,4 or more kids, but, I support 100%, any one with leftist politic's decision not to have kids!