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I'd say there's probably legal implications as well. If you're not married, how can you adopt; or would just one party adopt the child? If the second party leaves, is there child support? Things like that...
It depends, I'm unmarried and have adopted two children.
First child I adopted with my fiance
Second child I adopted on my own.
Without going into the reasons why they were different, the adoption agencies had a very difficult time letting us adopt at all. One agency refused to work with us because we were not married. The biggest issue is stability in a household.
What many fail to understand is the number of people who end up getting divorced over adopting. Families are not prepared to deal with the sudden change in lifestyles, the amount of stress, medical, emotional issues, and lets not even discuss the outside family pressure issues.
The number of couples who seperate after adopting if not married is astounding, and that has nothing to do with being gay or straight.
I have debated all afternoon on whether or not to say this but continuing to read the comments I have here and in the Prop 8 thread has eaten through my restraint.
I realize some of you are very happy that...gays won't have the right to adopt I guess since the bulk of this issue appears to surround that. Those that appear happy seem to be responding to that side of the issue.
That is fine. I respect and support your right to say it and your right to believe it even if I don't agree with you.
At the same time I wish that those that are so obviously thrilled could try to contain even a little bit of that outward display. Because, I guess just because perhaps it is the nice, compassionate thing to do. I suppose I am trying to appeal to the better side of your natures.
At the end of the day whether gays were allowed to adopt or not or any other 'gay' issue does not affect your life. Your life will change not one iota in how you live it day to day. You've lost nothing. You will lose nothing.
The other side of it is that we, those of us that are gay have lost. We lose every time one of these protective measures go through. It does affect our lives personally. We agonize over the decisions and worry about what might be taken away next. Or what restrictions will be placed on our personal lives next.
These decisions for us are deeply personal. Your lives won't change, ours will and do. Please, just try to keep that in mind as your celebrating your win that goes beyond politics. We're real people too and every win for you whether it be a moral victory or word victory, a belief victory or any other qualification you want to put on it remains an actual day to day living loss for us. While you celebrate we hurt, grieve and cry.
Before anyone tries to point out that if you don't live in Arkansas it doesn't affect you, I ask you to remember first that we live under a judicial system where precedent matters. What one state does affects another.
Most of all, on this issue, I am saddened for the loss of straight unmarrieds losing the right to adopt because people would rather limit that too then to risk us having the right to do so.
Yeah, it was taking a lot out of me to NOT cry at work today.
Maybe in a few days I'll stop all these suicide fantasies but...right now, I just feel like getting my razor blade out and just going back to self mutilation.
And you want to adopt a child when you have suicidal thoughts over something like this?
See post #82, and maybe you'll see that its not just a gay issue..
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