Wellll.... at least due to this thread we have a pretty good idea of who here has sticky keyboards & spends a bit of cash on "hand lotion"
!
I wasn't going to open myself up to ridicule,but I had a sudden burst of
"I don't give a *$%^ !"
Porn HAS ruined my marriage, period. I discovered my husband had a porn adiction before the wedding, & he swore,
promised to give it up for me, as I made it
totally clear I wouldn't have it in the house,didn't want it around my kids,he had the
choice: Porn or Me.
Well, it wasn't long until I learned what his choice was, & began finding magaznes hidden. He'd apologize & swear he'd not do it again. He lied. His addiction was so bad, he couldn't even achieve satisfaction w/ normal relations,as he was so used to going solo. Kept lying,kept hiding it. Even when we were so broke we could barely afford food for our 3 kids, he'd still buy porn. And lie about it. Hide it,throw a fit when I confronted him about it. Constantly lying,hiding,sneaking around.
I can't trust him, as honesty is VERY important to me. He has used the excuse that I don't give him enough sex ,but that is total BS, as we were going at it almost daily when I made my first "discovery" of his porn stash. And when we moved here a few years ago, we had vowed to make a fresh start in the new house. We were so happy, until I found a HUGE box of REALLY hard-core porn in the barn. I was so hurt, it was dated for the past year, & as I helped pack everything, he purposely schemed to fool me again... the lying,dishonesty, hiding & sneaking around just makes me sick.
We've been married 7 years,& it's been pure
Hell for the most part. I feel so betrayed,like he'd rather get sexual satisfaction from a zillion other women than ME. I feel like a nobody, and there's no way I could compete w/ those women w/ all the plastic surgery & silicone. He is always complementing me, but no matter how much I know he desires ME, I still can't bring myself to "share" my man,regardless of HOW.
Hell, I admit I do lust after other men at times,of course,it's only natural. HOWEVER, I do NOT lie & hide things,spend money that we don't have, and break his heart due to MY lust. I have evolved,I can control it.
I have asked him several times to get help, he gets mad & refuses. I SOOO want a divorce,and was about to start the process when in Feb of 07 I discovered one of our VERY rare occasions we had sex,the birth control failed. Now we have a 21 month old son w/ mild cerebral palsy, & as I don't work to care for him,I have no money to leave. I'm stuck.
WHEW. OK, I feel better now.
Just thought I'd give a little bit of personal experiance to this subject. I have no problem w/ what a couple does together,it's the deceit that screws things up. On the outside,I DO think it degrades humans, as ( I thought
) that the ability to control our sexual urges is one thing that humans have evolved beyond an animal level. Apparantly not ALL humans... and we all know what a loose attitude about sex leads to;rampant STDs, unwanted pregnancies, etc.
Porn IS addicting, for sure. Just like any other addiction, you soon lose the thrill, & have to move on to more, & harder stuff. My husband just the other night told me ( he didn't think I heard him mutter under his breath ) that he prefers the porn because they "don't talk". It's a way to avoid all human emotion, & just consider your own physical needs.
When you can't trust the father of your children to go to the store & spend the few precious dollars you have left on your CHILDREN, instead of porn, there's just nothing left. I had such severe depression when I was pregnant w/ our last child due to this problem, I wonder if it contributed to his present medical problems. The guilt is eating me alive, & the feelings of helplessness & isolation are consuming me. I SO wish I knew a way to break the cycle & LEAVE, but I feel so crappy abut myself due to all of this I am scared to go it alone.
Sorry so long, thanks for letting me vent!