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While that is a concern, it is ultimately his choice. All choices have consequences, good and bad. And if you choose to focus on the potential bad consequences, then in a way you legitimize what the bigots want.
Were this anytime up until the late 70s, I could see what you are saying. But times have changed and there are numerous interracial couples out there. Indeed I cannot take Moth Jr to the playground without encountering same-sex parents (not that there is anything wrong with it). Interracial is passe.
Welcome to the USA- the most Diverse country in the history of the known universe.
There is a difference between focusing on something and being aware. I'm fully aware of what year it is but I'm also aware of the current habit of some non-black people to see a young black male and immediatley think "thug" so if my son should start dating a white girl then it is going to be an area of a concern for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74
I fully understand and respect your concern for your son. there is nothing wrong with that, but I do have to say, that a lot of interracial relationships never experience the horrors, or have problems with those around them.
I agree the majority don't, but I've heard a couple of first hand stories that just blew my mind. While I know that life itself has hardships I just don't want to see my son take on anything extra, if that makes sense.
There is a difference between focusing on something and being aware. I'm fully aware of what year it is but I'm also aware of the current habit of some non-black people to see a young black male and immediatley think "thug" so if my son should start dating a white girl then it is going to be an area of a concern for me.
Methinks you are being dishonest. I had plenty of interracial relationships back in my days of wolfing around. On the occassion that I would be involved with a black girl, the only flack, if you would call it that, came from black men heckling me "to stay with my own kind". I neglected to heed their advice and my life was none the worse for it. The only other thing worth mentioning was a day in Central Park with lots of stares. Seeing as they sprouted from curiosity rather than hostility, my ego enjoyed the veneration.
I have lived in both the north and south. I have probably seen thousands of interracial couples and personally known quite a few. Indeed I hardly know anyone who has not been involved with someone outside their race. Nobody reported anything akin to a "horror story." Therefore I think you either have an irrational fear born out of an overactive imagination or you are inventing an issue.
Bitterness, racism, jealousy, I don't know. What I do know is that day has gone. Lighten up and let your son do what he wants. People can date whomever they choose. Get over it already.
Nah, send him to an island where other people think like him. That could patch things up.
Lol, yeah let's send them all to Rush's house. He should have enough food and nonsense for them all..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moth
Then it sounds as if you are a bit guilty of the exact thing you condemn.
I see that as well.
Nataly, you're falling for the trap. While I understand your concerns, I think you're open minded enough to let the idea fade away with time. You're only in your 20s, so with that in mind, by the time you're 50 (give or take) and your son brings in a caucasian girl to the house, you may not make a stink of it. You will probably greet her, and accept her. You have time on your hands, you're still young.
Quote:
Originally Posted by azriverfan.
You didn't ask Natalay if she would disapprove of it. Feeling uncomfortable and telling her son "No, you can't date a white girl" are two different things.
Glad you picked up on that. There is a difference.
I think it's normal for anyone to have a level of discomfort initially, but banning the kids from dating is a different story.
Methinks you are being dishonest. I had plenty of interracial relationships back in my days of wolfing around. On the occassion that I would be involved with a black girl, the only flack, if you would call it that, came from black men heckling me "to stay with my own kind". I neglected to heed their advice and my life was none the worse for it. The only other thing worth mentioning was a day in Central Park with lots of stares. Seeing as they sprouted from curiosity rather than hostility, my ego enjoyed the veneration.
The stares probably came from thoughts like, "She's way out of his league. How the hell did he end up with her?"
Methinks you are being dishonest. I had plenty of interracial relationships back in my days of wolfing around. On the occassion that I would be involved with a black girl, the only flack, if you would call it that, came from black men heckling me "to stay with my own kind". I neglected to heed their advice and my life was none the worse for it. The only other thing worth mentioning was a day in Central Park with lots of stares. Seeing as they sprouted from curiosity rather than hostility, my ego enjoyed the veneration.
I have lived in both the north and south. I have probably seen thousands of interracial couples and personally known quite a few. Indeed I hardly know anyone who has not been involved with someone outside their race. Nobody reported anything akin to a "horror story." Therefore I think you either have an irrational fear born out of an overactive imagination or you are inventing an issue.
Bitterness, racism, jealousy, I don't know. What I do know is that day has gone. Lighten up and let your son do what he wants. People can date whomever they choose. Get over it already.
Me could care less what you think. A keyboard and an opinion does not give you the ability to see inside my head. You can have all the experiences you want to; I've been black every day of my life and I tend to place more stock in things I've actually witnessed rather than something an anonymous person on line wants to believe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterNY
Nataly, you're falling for the trap. While I understand your concerns, I think you're open minded enough to let the idea fade away with time. You're only in your 20s, so with that in mind, by the time you're 50 (give or take) and your son brings in a caucasian girl to the house, you may not make a stink of it. You will probably greet her, and accept her. You have time on your hands, you're still young. .
Even if he brought one home I'd never make a stink about it - he'd never even know it bothered me.
By the time my son is old enough to date the color of the girl is probably going to be my last concern because no matter what color she is I ain't raising no babies. I plan on telling him that as soon as I think he's thinking about thinking about liking a girl. In fact I should probably wake him up and tell him now
You know now that I think about it the person who had the issues in the interracial couples I know has always been the white person...one of my girlfriends got beat up in a bathroom at a club my junior year.... it was pretty sad.
Last edited by nat_at772; 10-19-2009 at 08:33 PM..
No, because the other person themselves would not bother me.
I'd be bothered by the fact that his choices may have set him on a path that could potentially make him a target for others.
It's a hard thing to explain.
I personally have no problem with interracial relationships - my own family isn't just black but at this stage in the game most of us look black so no one takes the time to break down our genetic backgrounds...but I have friends who are either gay or in interracial relationships and some of the horror stories they've told me about how people have treated them…just wouldn’t want my son going through it.
That's sad that you think that, but I do understand. I've never dated a black man but if I ever did, I know I would be a little nervous having him meet my parents. My parents are open-minded but I just know that a part of them would be a little startled at first. But then, I would hope that the man I was with could open up that little divide & we would all be better off. I'll be honest, when I see a black man/woman w/a white man/woman I do give a quick second glance but that's it. It's more of an "wow, now that's cool & you don't see that everyday". I know, I shouldn't be surprised in the least but that's the first thing that comes to mind for a second & then I'm over it. I'm ok w/it because I know I'm not some complete bigoted idiot who would have a serious problem w/that relationship.
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). Interracial is passe.
