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Originally Posted by Martin Karadagian
This is a very interesting and insightful post. I also think it's interesting that you have 3 ethnic backgrounds that are relatively obscure. I'm guessing they're ethnicities that don't make up a whole nation, but rather ethnicities within a nation where a majority of another ethnicity make up the majority.
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Greetings Martin -
Sorry, I've been offline for days, hence my delay in replying. Nope, one can never assume. In regard to my nationality, I'm speaking of ethnicities that make up the vast majority of their countries - almost 100% in each case. It doesn't matter anyway, as my point was that one doesn't always know what comprises each of us is, just by looking, nor how to address us once another finds out, particularly when more obscure nationalities, blends of nationalities/races or even different religions, are involved. As we've seen written here, some in the same group differ in how they view being addressed, which further complicates the issue & adds to the potential for stepping on someone's toes. I haven't always been asked these questions in the nicest of ways, nor addressed in the nicest of ways & it wasn't one particular group of people who'd done so. Rudeness/prejudice knows no boundaries no matter how you slice it - age groups, ethnic groups, religious backgrounds, birth countries, sex. Additionally, no one represents all of their group. I don't speak for all women, nor do I choose to, but I do take a deep breath & stiffle a big sigh when I hear anyone say "Most/all women are..." statements, as in a country with 350-ish million people, of which 52+ % are women, what the social life one must have, to be able to truthfully make such a statement, or others like it.
I think these can become hot issues when protestors assume all white folks are the same, have all the wealth/power & think the same way. If so, someone out there's walking around with all my money & power. I've gotta tell ya, I have female friends the same age as me & I have no earthly idea why they think, desire or strive for the things they do & vice versa. My friends & I come from completely different backgrounds - economically, familial, socially, religiously, ethnically & in just about any other way you slice it. If one belongs to a group that's being dumped on, of course it's felt more strongly. I certainly feel female sexism in the workplace more strongly than a man. A man can't necessarily understand how it feels to be a woman walking home on a dark evening. But, listening to & sympathizing with her cautions & ways of dealing with it, rather than dismissing her as choosing to be the victim of her own nervous personality serves no purpose & completely misses the point. No one can expect to be taken seriously while making any kind of dismissive statement, on either side of any argument. I feel this is some of what's being experienced in this thread, on both sides of the coin.
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But, for non-White ethnicities, it's just not that easy. We are all still check marks on an application. Both on paper, and how we're perceived by others.
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When it comes to the gov't, corporations, health care insurance, etc., we're all just check marks on an application. Further, no one can control how others will perceive them. Many things cannot be completely "hidden" - color, sex & sometimes religion, if one's religion requires specific dress, for example, particularly in a mixed nation like the US, where blends of different nationalities or races are involved. Over the past few years, people in Boston expressed dissatisfaction with school form checkboxes that didn't include their tri-racial heritage. There have to be some who are quad-racial, yes? What about them? Where does protesting end? Should my 3 rather obscure nationalities be reflected in mainstream America? They never have been before.
You wouldn't know that my brother's naturally blonde/blue-eyed wife with a Dutch name were 1/2 Native American, if she didn't tell you. You wouldn't know the heritage my other brother's 1/2 Filipino daughter by looking at her either. Some have guessed Italian, Lebanese, African, Puerto Rican or a blend of any/all. She's none of what anyone ever guesses. You'd have no idea which nationality I were, by looking at me either. No one, not one, has ever guessed correctly. Ever. How should I respond? Call them insensitive & uncaring for not knowing? Walk away thinking how they are prejudiced for not having a vast knowledge of every tiny country & it's people on every continent? If you knew my real first name, which I rarely use, you'd not be able to pronounce it. No one has. Ever. If I pronounced it, you'd never guess how to spell it correctly with all it's 20 letters + hyphen. Are you ethnically exclusive then? Gosh, that'd be an exhausting job for me to carry around all that judgement & one I see no need to hold. I believe that people on all sides of these issues need to lighten up a bit, practice a bit of forgiveness & manners.
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So consequently, we get the various statements like "Native Americans should be glad we didn't wipe them out", or as someone told me "Asians shouldn't complain because they rate the highest as the most successful minority group". I think what he meant by that is, they should be glad they are on the 2nd tier level of the ladder. One would have to wonder how serious do we take the word "equal" that our great country phrases? Instead we have the ladder effect according to race.
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I don't know whom you know, but it sounds like you may need a new social circle, immediately. If I'm around folks who think these things, fortunately, I'm not aware of it, as I've not only never engaged in such discussions, but never overheard these conversations. I've never heard anyone make a statement about being lucky "whites" haven't wiped them out. Are you making an "All white people are..." statement? You seem to be expressing it as if it were the majority who believe this, so I'm asking. If it's just one or a few, why give it merit & pose it as if it were a given belief? Am I missing how you've meant this to be conveyed? Get away from these folks & this thinking, is all I have to say. I have read rude statements on message boards, but, honestly, not one of us knows who's on the other side of the keyboard. I do dismiss many of these message board outbursts as pranks & remind myself that it's highly probable they would not be friends of mine had we met in person. I don't draw these people to me & in the off chance someone is rude in addressing me or others around me, I thank them for revealing themselves upfront. This way, they've wasted none of my time in getting to know them further & they can surround themselves with like minded folks who share their beliefs.
All of us need to take care in what we say. This also means not forcing opinions or beliefs on others. There are forums on this board that I don't venture into, because I'm not interested and/or people can be forceful with their opinions & not mindful of others' feelings. I saw that before separate rooms were created & the posts were all mingled together. I'm glad they're now compartmentalized. Perhaps others will lable me segregationist, but so be it, they're entitled to think as they choose. I feel I'm being respectful by not jumping into the room & telling them they shouldn't discuss xxx. I think not assuming, respecting & compassion are the key to it all. Lacking that, no one wants to listen to what we feel the need to share, no matter how important the issue to us.
Good dialogue.
Have fun... VV