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Wow, well I'm not exactly sure who that disdain was directed at, but I'm assuming it was me.
I think I understand what Ever Adrift was alluding to that "in your face" behavior does not promote acceptance, and serves to magnify differences in behavior and "lifestyle" as opposed to highlighting similarities in day to day life.
I was just pointing out that there are a lot of people out there that are going to hate you regardless of how you behave or live your life. It's just a sad reality.
Not to worry, no need to feel special. Others equally in the running for some "disdain".
It's clear to me that I didn't express myself well, though my views are certainly controversial within the gay community. I really believe that there is a subculture within 'gay culture' that has attempted to 'embrace the stereotype' as a means of empowerment; it has been my experience that young gay men are often pressured to adopt mannerisms, styles, etc. associated with gay culture and they do it not because that is who they really are but because they feel pressured to do so by other gay people.
I will try to elaborate on this one more time later this evening; I don't have time right now as I have to head over to campus to do some research. I will say, again, that I was pretty trashed last night when I wrote that up so I do apologize if it was confusing and/or poorly worded.
I kind of agree with what you're saying and I kind of dont.
I personally think its unnecessary that some straight men feel compelled to stereotypically sit on the couch and headbutt one another while grunting, yelling and screaming during sports broadcasts, as they swig beer and whistle at every attractive woman who comes on television. Although I enjoy watching sports, and the occasional alcoholic beverage, that type of over the top behavior is lame, unnecessary, and silly, imo. So I just dont do it. But I do respect the idea that that just might be who they are as straight men; and that what may be over the top and excessive for me, may be completely natural and instinctual to other men. I know that I dont really enjoy acting fratboyish. But if other men want to, then I wouldnt think that they are undermining or destroying the straight male culture.
On the other hand, I have often wondered if THAT MANY gay men really feel naturally compelled to act effeminate. But where the quandary ends is with the fact that a groundswell of gay women often feel compelled to act like the opposite sex as well. So it doesnt shock me that the inverse is true of gay men. I just think that how other people choose to express their sexuality is something that is beyond our control, but their outward behavior does not significantly influence heterosexuals' opinions of gay culture. Rather it reflects the individual personalities of some of those people who comprise the gay culture.
One thing that I find interesting is that shy, non flamboyant men, are also often cast as gay by their peers. Which speaks of a separate stereotype from the one you mention, and suggests that straight people are already aware that gays can come in a wide array of personalities. So I think that, whether straight or gay, effeminate or not, shyness/extraversion/flamboyancy are character traits, that will inevitably work in tandem with and will be reflected through a person's existing sexuality.
In other words: I dont think that a person becomes flamboyant because they have chosen to begin living an openly gay lifestyle, anymoreso than straight men or women become stereotypes of their ilk, simply because they have chosen to live the lifestyle of straight men/women.
Last edited by solytaire; 11-28-2009 at 01:22 PM..
Wow! Great voice! I wasn't familiar w/ him, but see that the crowds love him. Just like he's entitled to be his own person, so is Adam. Adam was in a win/lose situation just because he's open about his sexualty. Can you imagine him coming out dressed like Any Bell? You're never going to please everyone. That's why there's so much diversity in music.
The statement was made that flamboyant performers hurt the gay marriage cause. I believe she was asking why, as musicians don't seem to have an impact on the state of straight marriages.
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Dang it, I thought it was all for me. I guess I'll have to try harder next time.
