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I was spanked and hit as a child. I was never abused. All it did was scare me temporarily but it certainly didn't teach me or motivate me to do the right things. It just motivated me to find a way to avoid being spanked ie lying and cheating.
I learned that spanking and hitting is the easy way out. It's for parents who are too lazy or lack the skill to TEACH their kids. Your kids have to want to do the right things. They have to be self-motivated and self disciplined. The only way they will do that is if you coach them and teach them why doing the right things will benefit them. If they genuinely understand why on a deep level they will do it. I tell them real world examples of why they should do things. I have straight A kids who have never been in trouble. The reason is I coach or TEACH my kids. I spend time with them. I'm honest with them. I don't sugarcoat my advice. I also provide boundaries but I also treat them like adults. My teenager has her own credit card, bank account and car loan. She knows how to manage her finances and understand the market better than most adults. She does her own laundry and cooks many of her own meals. In return, I don't harrass her about curfews and guess what she doesn't abuse it either. She can also change a flat tire. There are too many old school parents who don't think and parent according to convention ie be a brutal task master. That's how my parents raised me. There are good things to that but I was far less independent and mature as a result of that type of parenting too.
That being said, there is the opposite in which parents want to be their kids friends and don't provide any boundaries whatsoever. I've noticed this is the case in mostly wealthy upper class WHITE/WASP parents. Usually, the dad works all the time and earns a lot of money while his wife is a stay-at-home mom with a maid who does nothing aside from shopping, socializing and being a part of the PTA. The mom wants to pretend she is a teenager and lets her kids do whatever they want. They never discipline or even call out their kids when they misbehaving or getting into trouble. They baby their kids and don't demand anything of them academically. They are more interested in their kids social lives than their grades. If anyone tries to discipline them or call out their kids behavior, they get hostile and defensive rather than apologize and address their child's problems
Last edited by azriverfan.; 01-04-2010 at 04:53 PM..
I love children. I love my neice and nephews. Time out and talking until you are blue in the face. Doesn't work all the time. And, no I decided not to have children. I wanted to travel without children.
So you're a contributor to the decline in our fertility rate that would maintain our culture? That's another problem altogether.
Hitting a child is indicative of a serious mental problem. If you have to show your child "who's boss" then you have real issues that need to be addressed. It does result in sexual difficulties later on in life because it is the same thing as an assault. I can vouch for this. A 300lb man--the man entrusted to protect a child--doesn't hit a 30lb child without causing lasting emotional injury. Thinking otherwise is insane regardless of whatever study is conducted.
Hitting a child is indicative of a serious mental problem. If you have to show your child "who's boss" then you have real issues that need to be addressed. It does result in sexual difficulties later on in life because it is the same thing as an assault. I can vouch for this. A 300lb man--the man entrusted to protect a child--doesn't hit a 30lb child without causing lasting emotional injury. Thinking otherwise is insane regardless of whatever study is conducted.
Stop blaming your past for your life decisions and failures. Only when you decide to stop living as a victim, will you be free. Take control of your life and move forward. Everyone has a past and horrible things happen to them. Stop making excuses.
40 years ago dr b. spock said dont spank em. we bought it. 40 years later, highest prison population on earth.
Which totally has nothing to do with ridiculous possession charges, amirite?
Anyways, I've no problem with spankings. Everyone needs to find a parenting method that works for them. My parents spanked me, and I'm neither scarred nor resentful of them.
Stop blaming your past for your life decisions and failures. Only when you decide to stop living as a victim, will you be free. Take control of your life and move forward. Everyone has a past and horrible things happen to them. Stop making excuses.
Excuse me? I am not a victim. I'm actually quite successful and live an enviable life. I never claimed any failures or bad life decisions. Where did you read that in my post? I am simply saying that hitting a child is WRONG. Period. I know from experience. Best to pass on such wisdom, in my opinion.
Hitting a child is indicative of a serious mental problem. If you have to show your child "who's boss" then you have real issues that need to be addressed. It does result in sexual difficulties later on in life because it is the same thing as an assault. I can vouch for this. A 300lb man--the man entrusted to protect a child--doesn't hit a 30lb child without causing lasting emotional injury. Thinking otherwise is insane regardless of whatever study is conducted.
Adult men in England PAY to receive a good spanking.
Guess that's why my kids turned out so well. Can't say the same for my grandkids though, although I did see my daughter give her 5 year old a swat for being bad.
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