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Old 03-03-2010, 11:20 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
Reputation: 22788

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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
I think he was third form and I was second form so that would be 9th grade for him and 8th grade for me...I think.....
Then how come you were in the same class and she did it in front of you...? How in the world did it even happen? More importantly, what did YOU do to HER?
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:45 PM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,837,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Then how come you were in the same class and she did it in front of you...? How in the world did it even happen? More importantly, what did YOU do to HER?
Yeah, I know.

We had "composite" classes for particular subjects. So my home room or my class was actually a mixture of 1st, 2nd & 3rd form. We would then branch off for particular subjects to our own year level. For things like Maths and Science.

Humanities was one of the classes, like art and trade classes where we would all participate as part of our home room.

I have no idea why she did it, I only know that I responded the only way I knew how to in that environment and I punched her in the face.

That effectively removed her from connecting with him and of course stupidly (for her) she hauled me up to the Principles Office immediately after. Initially the idea seemed to be that we would only be punishing my actions until I secured the services of an advocate and pretty much lay out the whole scenario for scrutiny. It didn't help her case that I was most candid about my actions being wrong but the only ones I felt I could make given the circumstances and she spent a bit of time trying to deny, deny, deny until a few of the other kids started lining up at the Principle's door to give their side of the story and support me. She was put on leave for a period of time, our class was "schooled" in acceptable behaviours. Heavy on the "do not touch" message and more geared toward "do not touch in violence" as opposed to the "do not touch sexually if you're an adult" and eventually I manged to secure a place at another school, which was exactly what I needed to do at the time.

It was an abomination of a place and probably responsible for perpetuating the socio economic problems of that area for several generations.

He and I remained firm friends for many years , she returned to teaching at the school briefly but was NEVER ALLOWED to chaperone day trips or camps and eventually went back to University to become an actress or something equally ludicrous and I went on to further studies at a totally different school.

I often wonder looking back at how it all played out WHAT the outcome would have been NOW?
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
Reputation: 22788
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
Yeah, I know.

We had "composite" classes for particular subjects. So my home room or my class was actually a mixture of 1st, 2nd & 3rd form. We would then branch off for particular subjects to our own year level. For things like Maths and Science.

Humanities was one of the classes, like art and trade classes where we would all participate as part of our home room.

I have no idea why she did it, I only know that I responded the only way I knew how to in that environment and I punched her in the face.

That effectively removed her from connecting with him and of course stupidly (for her) she hauled me up to the Principles Office immediately after. Initially the idea seemed to be that we would only be punishing my actions until I secured the services of an advocate and pretty much lay out the whole scenario for scrutiny. It didn't help her case that I was most candid about my actions being wrong but the only ones I felt I could make given the circumstances and she spent a bit of time trying to deny, deny, deny until a few of the other kids started lining up at the Principle's door to give their side of the story and support me. She was put on leave for a period of time, our class was "schooled" in acceptable behaviours. Heavy on the "do not touch" message and more geared toward "do not touch in violence" as opposed to the "do not touch sexually if you're an adult" and eventually I manged to secure a place at another school, which was exactly what I needed to do at the time.

It was an abomination of a place and probably responsible for perpetuating the socio economic problems of that area for several generations.

He and I remained firm friends for many years , she returned to teaching at the school briefly but was NEVER ALLOWED to chaperone day trips or camps and eventually went back to University to become an actress or something equally ludicrous and I went on to further studies at a totally different school.

I often wonder looking back at how it all played out WHAT the outcome would have been NOW?
OMG, that's quite a story! Thanks for sharing.

Way to go, punching Moonie!
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Old 03-03-2010, 11:57 PM
 
Location: Tempe, AZ
740 posts, read 688,254 times
Reputation: 441
It is an abuse of power in both cases and, ideally, both should be given the same sentences for the crimes. However almost all criminal cases tried in front of a jury, and, as we can see from the posts here, the people on the jury may not see the crimes as equally severe and might pick a less harsh count from the list presented to them for women. The law says they are the same crimes, and I am sure, if a woman accused of this was mad enough to waive her right to a jury trial, a judge would give the same sentence to a man and a woman. It isn't fair, but, until public perception changes, it is the way juries are going to decide.
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:04 AM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,837,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
OMG, that's quite a story! Thanks for sharing.

Way to go, punching Moonie!
Yeah, I should write a bloody book about those years. Some of it would make your hair curl.

I guess punching wasn't the answer, or perhaps it was (I often think had I not that the whole thing would have been swept under the rug.) but it was definitely that kind of environment. I did come to understand years later that she was on some kind of medication for mental health and apparently drinking a lot at the time too so the whole situation was a sorry indication of the times.

And the boys were frightened of her. And rightly so. Probably not the best way to handle it and I'm not one for violence as a solution but then I'm not there now so I can afford that luxury I guess. **shrug**

I guess I just understood it as predatory even then and to my 14 year old mind I just wanted it to stop.

Of course the world is very different now I suspect.....
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:07 AM
 
Location: The High Seas
5,726 posts, read 7,170,100 times
Reputation: 6674
Quote:
Do You Think That A Male Teacher Having Sex With A Female Student Is Worse Than A Female Teacher With A Male Student?
It depends who gets on top.
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:08 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
Reputation: 22788
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
Yeah, I should write a bloody book about those years. Some of it would make your hair curl.

I guess punching wasn't the answer, or perhaps it was (I often think had I not that the whole thing would have been swept under the rug.) but it was definitely that kind of environment. I did come to understand years later that she was on some kind of medication for mental health and apparently drinking a lot at the time too so the whole situation was a sorry indication of the times.

And the boys were frightened of her. And rightly so. Probably not the best way to handle it and I'm not one for violence as a solution but then I'm not there now so I can afford that luxury I guess. **shrug**

I guess I just understood it as predatory even then and to my 14 year old mind I just wanted it to stop.

Of course the world is very different now I suspect.....
Yeah, she must've been totally out of it! Nobody in her semi-right mind would do it at least in public!
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:30 AM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,837,675 times
Reputation: 7163
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Yeah, she must've been totally out of it! Nobody in her semi-right mind would do it at least in public!
I agree.

Thing was she was a good teacher really (I mean that incident aside) but she was a little "too involved" in our lives and seemingly then began to have problems in her own.

I don't think this is a new phenomenon, either. Because I can recall a couple of other incidents as an older teen at the new school that were questionable to say the least. Of course they were more covert so it's hard to know what really went on, if anything.

I do know that there was none of this court business and sex offenders list when I was growing up. To be honest I'm still not sure what I think of it all.

I do believe it should be examined and judged based on the circumstances and not the gender of any of the parties involved. AND that there should be a way to penalize based on the circumstances and the evidence and not one gender seemingly being seen to be less affected by it all or less culpable.

But part of me wonders also if routinely adding people to the sex offenders list because of these things isn't in some way sullying the importance of that list.

It's a complicated issue and my opinions on it are not black and white or even formed properly in some areas.....
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:39 AM
GLS
 
1,990 posts, read 3,464,465 times
Reputation: 2323
Default Oh Noooooo!

No one has asked on this thread about a Male teacher having sex with a Male student.......and no, I'm not even going to comment on Female teacher
vs .
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Old 03-04-2010, 08:12 AM
 
25,140 posts, read 26,949,118 times
Reputation: 34267
Well, I have to say, there's a similar impulse when it comes to adultery. You can see it manifested on this board from time to time.

If a man cheats on his wife, he's scum.

If a woman cheats on her husband, it's very interesting to read how some posters will rationalize it. You know, he wasn't paying her enough attention, he was verbally abusive, etc. etc.

So if a man cheats on his wife, it's his fault, and if a woman cheats on a man, it's his fault, too.
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