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I agree these kids shouldn't commit suicide over this but fighting back isn't that easy. Generally the kids doing the bullying tend to pick on kids smaller than them and sometimes you can have a group going after one kid. So it can be difficult for a smaller kid to fight a bully who's bigger than them and when there's more than one bully. We need to put more focus on stopping the bullies who again delibertly choose to pick on kids smaller than them. It's the bullies who are the cowrads. Bullies rarely pick on kids their size or larger.
You've never been bullied have you? Girls don't bully the same way boys do.
I posted my JrHS experience on another thread which has been deleted by mods. It was the most horrible, miserable year of my life. Rehashing it made me so nauseated that I skipped lunch.
Years ago the bullied child was able to go home for refuge. Today's bullies have been able to cross that threshold and permeate every aspect of the bullied child's life.
It took YEARS to get over what those mean girls did to me. I went to the school nurse, the principal, my parents. I came home with torn clothes, claw marks, had balls thrown at me in gym, had disgusting things smeared on my locker, had my hair pulled, was spit on, was called ugly, fat (110 lbs, 5'6") s-lut, wh-ore, it never ceased to end. I would go to the nurse's office and get physically sick. I tried to maintain a tough exterior so that they wouldn't know they were getting to me. Instead I internalized the problem. I was a quiet kid, honors student who hung out with the other smart kids. I was not snotty, not mean. I kept to myself.
If I tried to fight back, it would have been one of me against a bunch of them. Who would have won? Did I really want to give the bullies more fuel to use against me?
This was years before texting, cellphones and the internet. I was so distraught that I had considered hurting myself. Cyber bullying ramps up the mental warfare that the bullies engage in.
Teens have fragile psyches. Teen girls even more so. They have to worry about being popular, doing well in school, wearing the right clothes, having the right friends, having a boyfriend. Girl bullying is sneaky. It is physical, but it is also highly verbally abusive. ABUSIVE. We don't tolerate that as adults -- it is akin to harassment.
What if it were 9 on 1 you would fight back? Are you sure? Honesty check here and a chance to redeem yourself at least in part.
I'll let it out here a little bit. Former member of SBT US Navy. I was trained to do a lot of things. 9 on 1 is just about 100% you will get pounded. Even a H.S Kid knows this. They will not fight back. They will hope and pray that a teacher or some other authority figure will step in to help them. They hope that an adult who knows right from wrong will save them. This is a false hope of course, because it all relies upon 1 thing. The adults in charge need to actually care about the children in their care. They have to be less entertained by the exchange and more outraged at the obvious degradation of the victim.
But of course this hope is not a reality because not many teachers actually care that much to get involved. Now how do I know?
Born with a bi-lateral cleft of the lip and pallet. Went through my first 6 years of school with a very flat nose and a horseshoe scar on my upper lip. Yeah everyday was a beat down by the bullies. My dad who was my hero til the day he died was from the mountains of Wyoming. He firmly believed that 1 or 10 you stand and fight like a man. I was also under sized. I weighed 68 pounds in 8th grade. Fortunately 10th grade I had the mother of all growth spurts. No coming home crying either or else we get in the car and go look for the boys. Then I had the honor of fighting them 1 at a time. win lose or draw. My dad was an awesome man. Fighter pilot, Rodeo cowboy, expert shot with a rifle. But no clue what it was to be the small hair lip in school.
Fight back against the bullies? Even if you do the bullies friends always jump in. Been there and walked that mile.
Why would 9 people be fighting 1 person?
And if you are in a fight with multiple people, have some friends join in the fight
Its not actually 9 on 1... come on bro. Remember HS. If there was a fight gonna happen after school everyone would go watch. Both participants would bring friends and there would be onlookers. But never went past 1 on 1 fight
People respect people who have principle and will fight. Even if you get your ass kicked, if you will fight someone, they would definitely leave you alone.
Fighting makes trouble and if they know some guy is willing to fight them, they will just move on
You have no clue about the nature of female bullies. Yeah, I was going to fight them 1 on 6. I would have been clawed, had my hair ripped from my skull, my clothes torn off and a few broken teeth and ribs.
If I had returned to school with hacked hair, scars and temporary teeth, do you think the bullying would have ended? Hell no! It would have gotten worse!
And if you are in a fight with multiple people, have some friends join in the fight
Its not actually 9 on 1... come on bro. Remember HS. If there was a fight gonna happen after school everyone would go watch. Both participants would bring friends and there would be onlookers. But never went past 1 on 1 fight
You have all the answers. Unfortunately, they're the wrong answers. You obviously don't understand bullying.
And if you are in a fight with multiple people, have some friends join in the fight
Its not actually 9 on 1... come on bro. Remember HS. If there was a fight gonna happen after school everyone would go watch. Both participants would bring friends and there would be onlookers. But never went past 1 on 1 fight
Apples to Apples. The girl in MA and the LI girl who committed suicide were both victims of female and male bullies. The girl in MA was raped!
How do you explain that? Do you think she didn't fight back?
This isn't a bunch of boys with beer muscle bravado fighting amongst one another.
People respect people who have principle and will fight. Even if you get your ass kicked, if you will fight someone, they would definitely leave you alone.
Fighting makes trouble and if they know some guy is willing to fight them, they will just move on
What kind of people respect that behavior?
Other bullies? Apparently.
Cant blame some HS kid if they bullied someone, and then they killed themselves.
Guy should be a man and fist fight them or something. Not just commit suicide cause some guy calls you a name. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words cant hurt you. what happened to that?
Look up the definition of bullying....it's not just calling someone a name..it's a form of terrorism. If you haven't walked in a victim's shoes....shhhhhhh.
And if you are in a fight with multiple people, have some friends join in the fight
Its not actually 9 on 1... come on bro. Remember HS. If there was a fight gonna happen after school everyone would go watch. Both participants would bring friends and there would be onlookers. But never went past 1 on 1 fight
Yeah I remember H.S 4 or 5 jocks single out the smallest skinniest kid and then humiliate them as best they could. The friends joining in? You are assuming that the kid has those friends. I remember quite a few fights where I fought 2 or 3 and more. In other words I got pounded by the group while the onlookers laughed.
Last day of school 8th grade. I had the pleasure of facing 7 attackers. My friends? Would have made it 3 on 7. They ran for home.
You were never the victim and I can understand why you don't understand or empathize. How can you, it never happened to you.
Please don't try to tell me what happened in my life. I was there remember and I lived it.
These bullies in MA set up a facebook page AFTER this girl committed suicide making fun of her suicide. This is not 1-on-1 fisticuffs behind the gym. This is a systematic plan to destroy another person at all costs, using whatever means necessary. How can you even begin to defend this?
Glad you said that because I was going to say something similar. Since retaliation in the form of "meet me on the baseball field after class" is no longer allowed. Ok, so it wasn't "allowed" back in our day, but a blind eye was often turned to it. It is also funny how bullies rarely showed for these encounters back in the day. If people were allowed to defend themselves like we were, there would probably be less of this.
In real life, is someone at work is always harassing you, you can get a transfer, or have them dealt with administratively, or you just threaten to kick their ass. School is a place where the child is forced to attend, every single weekday, and they remove many of the tools that we would use in real life to deal with jerks like those bullies.
The school ends up placing the child in an impossible situation, where the school forces them to be in attendance every day, to face being tormented, while the school policies tie the child's hands behind their back.
While I might agree to appoint, that learning to deal with jerks and bullies is a life experience, some kids just don't seem to be able to cope, and those are the exact people the bully seeks out. For some kids, it takes one public display of fighting back, a little detention maybe, but then no more bully problems after that.
What I'm getting at is the school makes it artificially more difficult for the tormented, and makes it a great sport of enjoyment for the tormentors. The bullies can game the system, but the tormented kid cannot.
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