public school bullies, what do you do? (military, education, program)

[Factsplease]

I don't believe in bowing down to bullies, if you don't defend yourself, it will only get worse.

[mackinac81]

Well, I'm not a parent, so I'm not sure what I'd do, but this comes to mind first:

1. Talk to school administrators and make sure my kid is not in the same classes.
2. Have my child document EVERYTHING said or done to them
3. Take the kid and parents to court and sue them for all they're worth.

Then again, I'm not a parent, so I could be wrong. I was never bullied, but I absolutely despise them, no matter what age they are.

[mag32gie]

You put prayer back into the schools so the bully will know there is someone out there that he WILL be answering to.

[mirriam]

I will definitely be teaching my kids to fight back if attacked physically. If attacked emotionaly or taunted, I hope to teach them to have self-confidence so they can laugh those attacks off. Easier said than done, of course.

Also, bullying happens in private schools are well. Not sure why only public schools were mentioned.

[KevK]

Originally Posted by Orincarnia

public school, its hard, we've all been there, either the bully or the bullied, we all have our chance to shine as the allstar or fail the test, get dumped by girl, and score a date to the prom.

so, if you child came home with a bloody nose from bullies at school, what would be your solution to this? teach him to fight?

I would file a civil lawsuit against both the bully, his parents and the school if he had prior troubles and they failed to control him or expel him. And I did not bully nor was I bullied. If anybody had tried it, they would have got a blade stuck in their gut. I never looked for trouble but if it came looking for me, I was more than ready to deal with it.

[KevK]

Originally Posted by Moth

That is my intention. Moth Jr is still quite young. But when he is old enough, he will be instructed in boxing and possibly martial arts. He will be instilled with a simple doctrine- Never start crap and do not take any. Should I see that he is the bully, he will have me to deal with. And that ain't gonna be fun.

Teach him how to use a blade. Much more effective.

[KevK]

Originally Posted by NEOhioBound

uh, do what my parents did. Clean up my bloody mess and then send me outside to play. I think it has gotten way out of hand on both ends (bullys end and the bullied end) because we have made it an issue. Bullying has always been around but it wasn't until we started to try to "address" it that the bullying got worse.

I don't think it is really worse. I think it was worse in the 60s and 70s when I was in school. I asked my kids about it a few years ago and they told me they don't see much of it in school. I don't know if that is because the school is less tolerant today or because kids are different.

[KevK]

Originally Posted by Rggr

Bullying is certainly nothing new, but it has changed. Though it does happen as we imagine, it's no longer limited to the big kid tripping a smaller kid in the hall or demanding lunch money. Violence is much more glorified and kids can really be taken advantage of and humiliated. Some kids are not going to ever be able to defend themselves against their bully. Brush it off sounds easy too, unless it happens day after day and is made well-known to the rest of the class and the act of walking into the school building brings on hours of feeling alienated. Imagine it for a middle school kid. For most of us, it would have involved a fight and it was over and forgotten quickly. Imagine what it's like for a kids now that for, whatever reason, becomes the target and get used to mop the flloor only to go home and find it posted on the internet for everyone to see. The stakes have been raised and it needs to be taken seriously.

In that case, if the school won't deal with it, the cops and courts will.

[Donna7]

Yeah, the creeps that bullied Phoebe Prince deserve the highest punishment their crimes afford, especially the rapist. Some people have no idea how serious this Bullying B.S. is. Bullying has escalated into some sort of art form nowadays. It is no longer stealing lunch money, etc., there are some seriously messed up kids roaming the schools (even in private schools, believe me).

I asked my son (who is also a teacher) about it, asked him what would happen if the tables would be reversed and if an administrator, a school board member, or a teacher would be bullied in such ways as Phoebe Prince was, if action would be taken. He said, "YES"!!!! So apprently, it IS possible to stop the bullying, but apparently, it's not taken seriously enough when it happens to another kid. When it happens to a kid, then it's a "rite of passage." When it happens to an adult, then immediate action is taken. B.S.!

My 13 year-old son has been verbally and mentally bullied by some little twirp who's dad is a jerk. We know his dad quite well as he is a little league coach. He bullies his own son as well as the rest of the team. He has little compassion or empathy for others. When his own team members get hurt on the field, the other team's coaches have to go out and see if the player is okay, while he stands there in the dug-out like an a-hole barking at the player to "get up and shake it off." Now you know where his son gets his lack of compassion for another human being.

Like another poster said, little girls (and older girls) can be absolutely viscous, I mean they make the "Nasty Girls" of the movie seem like Shirley Temple. They play all sorts of mind games, can really impact a child's self-worth and confidence. Saw that as well in my daughter's Kindergarten class at a Catholic school!

All truth told, we taught all of our kids were taught to be kind and caring to others (they go to a Catholic school for heaven's sakes, where they are supposed to be loving and caring with each other), and there have been times where they have all been bullied to some degree by a twirp here and there. I have to say that some of the bullying tactics are more advanced now due to the cell phone texting, and social networking sites. There are a lot of a-holes running around wrecking havoc on the lives of very nice kids.

Schools tend to offer a blind eye to this bullying and try to downplay it as much as possible. My husband agrees that giving a bully a good a*s kicking solves the problem. I am with him on this somewhat. I have noticed that boys, in general, respond to this if it's a minor-league bully. I do think that in some schools, there are gangs to contend with. That's a whole different ball of wax. This is where school authorities and the police have to get involved. In fact, it takes the whole community working together to take a stand against this organizing bullying cr p.

Like another mother did, we enrolled our younger children in martial arts and it has indeed impacted how they view themselves. Plus, they are learning how to defend themselves. It is really a mind thing. Bullies tend to pick on kids who they perceive as "prey." (Being a mom for 26+ years, and seeing how this has affected so many nice kids, I am very sickened by bullying).

I am sickened that Phoebe Prince took her life. The act of rape was probably what threw her over the edge. The fact that this was allowed to escalate to the degree it did shows that not enough action was taken to stop it in its tracks.

A 9th grader in our school district took his life also two years ago. He was bullied relentlessly in middle school, which did very little to address what was happening to him. To note, we live in a very small town with a strong community presence and still, bullying is one subject that is supposedly addressed, but it is really not. Yes, there is an anti-bullying policy, but it seems to be enforced unfairly. It boils down to who the kid and parents are. If it is some local yokel who has lived here forever (including his/her forefathers), then a blind eye is shown to the misbehavior. On the other hand, if a non-local yokel kid (of if it's a kid that has parents that are not part of the local yokel/townie clique) defends himself, he/she gets the book thown at them (detention, suspension, or complete termination). People have to realize that some of this bullying (especially in small towns) has to do with the fact that the parents are not in the "in" group. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true. When the town principal, administrators, cops know the parents because they went to school with them, or are related to them, things are dealt with differently.

Bottom line, bullying is a serious problem in this country and a blind eye cannot be turned to the situation. Parents need to take whatever measures are necessary to deal with it. Please, if you know a kid that is being bullied, do not ignore it. It IS serious. Kids that are bullied are crying out for help, for someone to take notice. None of us can turn our backs to it.

[doc1]

Originally Posted by Moth

That is my intention. Moth Jr is still quite young. But when he is old enough, he will be instructed in boxing and possibly martial arts. He will be instilled with a simple doctrine- Never start crap and do not take any. Should I see that he is the bully, he will have me to deal with. And that ain't gonna be fun.

That's how we played it with our son (now 15).

His kindergarten teacher didn't like it when an issue came up but she got over it.