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"Despite the dark, fearful and lonely times, being able to write this fills me with a sense of freedom, pride and relief. There truly is a genuine sense that everything will be OK. I wrestled for a long, long time wondering whether being gay made me a bad person, but I can no longer fight who I am and that, simply put, is just me."
"Being a gay man with a foot half in and out of the closet is tough; the games it plays with your mind - and more importantly, your heart - are hard to put into words but I am going to try my best. I finally accepted my sexuality at the end of 2006 following a huge anxiety attack at work. After what were literally years of torment, denial and very, very dark times, I couldn't live a lie to myself any more. You often read that when people came out they had felt depressed or had suicidal tendencies. I, like them, experienced all of the extremes, but mostly it was the loneliness that was the hardest part of being gay - and still is. The number of times I have sat on the couch or lain in bed bawling my eyes out, scared and fearful of the future, are too many to mention."
Good for him. Hopefully he can live his life without the fear and confusion that causes agony for many gays.
I care. In the US (and I'm sure it's similar in other 1st world countries), 25% of gay teenagers who come out to their parents are forced to leave the home. Depending on which study you believe, between 33-50% of all homeless teenagers are gay. Gays and lesbians account for nearly half of all teen suicides.
I applaud Daniel Kowalski. As a highly successful athlete and celebrity (which he certainly is in Australia), he's providing a positive role model to gay children everywhere. His courage to speak out is a light in the darkness to all kids struggling to accept their homosexuality. His actions and words will save lives.
The reason we don't care is that there are sooooo many famous gay people that one more coming out is rather shrug-worthy.
Your attempts to paint peoples indifference as being anti-gay or that we would be unsupportive of our kids if they were gay is pretty much garbage and reflective of your own experiences no doubt.
If you can't see that our not caring at all is a sign of how far acceptance of gays has come, well....good luck.
The reason we don't care is that there are sooooo many famous gay people that one more coming out is rather shrug-worthy.
I just though his public statement was rather eloquent and expresses a sentiment that a lot of non-gay people might be unaware of or never really thought about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy
Your attempts to paint peoples indifference as being anti-gay or that we would be unsupportive of our kids if they were gay is pretty much garbage and reflective of your own experiences no doubt.
When did I ever attempt to paint people's indifference as anti-gay??? The only people I painted as anti-gay in here certainly are - and proudly say so. Perhaps I unfairly painted Mouser as such, although I doubt it since indifferent or accepting people normally don't refer to homosexuality as a "lifestyle" and go around posting in treads saying that homosexuals need to keep their sexuality to themselves. As to Frank DeForest, dcsldcd, roysoldboy, etc - they are out and proud anti-gay bigots.
And yes, it would be damaging for a gay kid to grow up in these people's homes. Even something as seemingly benign as Mouser responding to a story on the news about a gay pride parade by saying "I wish those gays would just keep it to themselves" would be very toxic if it reached the ears of his (closeted) 13 year old gay son or daughter.
And no, it is in no way reflective of my own experiences. My parents are very liberal atheists. However, even as such, dealing with being gay from age 10-17 was hellish. I felt exactly the same things Daniel Kowalski expresses in his statement.
However, the day I came out was probably the happiest day of my mother's life (I think she secretly wanted a 'counter culture' child). She was furious when I didn't invite her to my first gay pride parade at 18. It took a few months for my dad to warm up to it (born in Texas in the 40's, Naval Officer - yes, a liberal atheist Naval officer) but within a year he was the biggest advocate of gay rights I know. I still get a kick out of being at my parents home when a boy scout stops by to sell popcorn. I love the lecture my dad (an Eagle Scout) gives about how he can no longer support the scouts due to their anti-gay bigotry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy
If you can't see that our not caring at all is a sign of how far acceptance of gays has come, well....good luck.
I'm keenly aware of how much better things are and are becoming for gays. I'm not willing to settle for toleration or indifference though. I want full acceptance. As long as gay kids are killing themselves and turning to self-destructive behaviors at alarmingly high rates there's still a lot of work to do.
I don't understand the need to go public with who you are as an individual. Tell the people who know you and love you. The rest of us just see your accomplishment and applaud it. Do you swim better than everybody else because you are gay or despite the fact that you are gay? No, you are just the best because you worked hard at it and deserved to win. That should be the message to all kids..."This is what you have to do to be successful like me."
But, to send that message a bit further by acknowledging the one thing that is 'different', you also then include the kid who is him/herself gay, by showing him/her that yes they do have something to live for and their sexual orientation does not have to affect their whole life in any negative way.
"Despite the dark, fearful and lonely times, being able to write this fills me with a sense of freedom, pride and relief. There truly is a genuine sense that everything will be OK. I wrestled for a long, long time wondering whether being gay made me a bad person, but I can no longer fight who I am and that, simply put, is just me."
"Being a gay man with a foot half in and out of the closet is tough; the games it plays with your mind - and more importantly, your heart - are hard to put into words but I am going to try my best. I finally accepted my sexuality at the end of 2006 following a huge anxiety attack at work. After what were literally years of torment, denial and very, very dark times, I couldn't live a lie to myself any more. You often read that when people came out they had felt depressed or had suicidal tendencies. I, like them, experienced all of the extremes, but mostly it was the loneliness that was the hardest part of being gay - and still is. The number of times I have sat on the couch or lain in bed bawling my eyes out, scared and fearful of the future, are too many to mention."
How does this person's sexual preferences matter at all? Why do they feel as if we all need to know this crap? What is next, people going public with their preferences to oral sex?
How does this person's sexual preferences matter at all? Why do they feel as if we all need to know this crap? What is next, people going public with their preferences to oral sex?
Why don't you read the thread? Your question has been addressed.
I don't understand the need to go public with who you are as an individual. Tell the people who know you and love you. The rest of us just see your accomplishment and applaud it. Do you swim better than everybody else because you are gay or despite the fact that you are gay? No, you are just the best because you worked hard at it and deserved to win. That should be the message to all kids..."This is what you have to do to be successful like me."
Thank you very much and very well said. I agree with you 100% they really do not owe anyone anything. See them for them accomplishments, and how they are as people inside and out, not just for the gender they prefer. So much more to a person then the person they choose to be with, but the total perosn and their essence and soul, you can be a straight lace individual, and have a terrible evil soul.
I care. In the US (and I'm sure it's similar in other 1st world countries), 25% of gay teenagers who come out to their parents are forced to leave the home. Depending on which study you believe, between 33-50% of all homeless teenagers are gay. Gays and lesbians account for nearly half of all teen suicides.
I applaud Daniel Kowalski. As a highly successful athlete and celebrity (which he certainly is in Australia), he's providing a positive role model to gay children everywhere. His courage to speak out is a light in the darkness to all kids struggling to accept their homosexuality. His actions and words will save lives.
Thank you very much and very well said. I agree with you 100% they really do not owe anyone anything. See them for them accomplishments, and how they are as people inside and out, not just for the gender they prefer. So much more to a person then the person they choose to be with, but the total perosn and their essence and soul, you can be a straight lace individual, and have a terrible evil soul.
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