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Well that's great to get your experience but In my case I've done nothing. All I did was come back. I have reached out to the people I know and have done nothing more than live my life. No I don't have a desire to talk with their accent, go deer hunting, say ayup, gossip, engage in negativity or stereotypes but so what? I'm just an ordinary good citizen trying to live my life here in Maine and conduct it in a similar manner to how I always did before, but it's hard to do that when people see you differently and treat you differently. These days usually I just tend to keep to myself for the most part, even with family. I'm not sure what else I can do other than to have never left the state, and I won't ever apologize for that.
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Originally Posted by lrfox
I said it definitely exists. I said it's not a big deal, nor is it different than many other rural and touristy areas across the country. I wasn't the best Maine citizen by any stretch of the imagination and never claimed to be. At times, I openly voiced my displeasure about living there, made fun of some of the quirks and that irritated people (and at the time, I didn't really care). So yeah, I deserved some of it. The two other examples I gave are times where I don't think I deserved it. But those cases weren't troubling enough to be a real issue. Of all of the things I didn't like about living in Maine, the relative distaste for outsiders was close to the bottom of the list. Had I been better at assimilating and didn't open my mouth about everything I didn't like about living in Maine, it would have been even less of an issue. Had I lived in Maine longer than 4.5 years, I think the "mentality" would gradually dissipate even further.
The point is, you're not going to help your case by talking about how low your opinion is of the people of Maine and how backwards they are. You're just confirming whatever suspicions they might have. I've found that most of the time the problem isn't everybody else, it's you. Your attitude seals your fate. You'll be miserable in Maine, so you should move; but don't make the mistake of thinking that Maine's the problem. Again, there is some skepticism of outsiders (in many cases for good reason) but not a pervasive amount and with the right attitude and an effort to fit in, it can easily be overcome. I experienced some anti-outsider sentiment, but the problem wasn't everyone else. It was me.
It is not a personal attack. It is a general observation based on your previous nonsensical, possibly offensive, disjointed post(s).
I lived in Maine for 14 years so I gave it plenty of time to assimilate. Some Mainers just flat out hate outsiders, it was never me. You said "You get what you give" and if people are rude and condescending towards you on a regular basis and you say nothing and let it roll off, you are perceived as an easy target and they continue. So defending yourself isn't instigating an argument.
I moved away from NJ to get away from the corruption and crime but my family lives here and I will always have ties. Its not all bad if you live in certain areas, Maine has the same bad areas or cities, so what, they aren't bad to the people that grew up there.
A life long Mainer told me "even at our best we are still a depressed economy" so what, if you like everything else. I stated the good in Maine but the handful of posters only focus on the things that I said were bad towards me, to me that is a your Psychological Disorder.
I didn't create this thread, this problem existed long before I was here so it is not me it is them. My ratings jumped so there are a lot of people watching this.
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First is that most of my frustration is linked to family and long time friends. I could give two ****s what some random person thinks about me, but for the people who know I'm a Mainer I find the mentality frustrating. If your from away looking to relocate to Maine for the first time, to get away from people and away from the city, you will likely be happy. It's low stress and peaceful here. Its great if you want peace and seclusion or to raise a family. There's not much to do and people can be very family orientated and exclusive, many times downright obnoxious. However if your coming from a place like New Jersey to relax and get away, I can't imagine you'll be disappointed.
Second i don't consider people to be "rude". It's more along the lines of stereotypical, skeptical, two faced, intrusive, obnoxious and dare I say ignorant (of the outside world). Many have lived their entire lives here and know nothing else and people from more civilized places will probably be in for a bit of a shock factor at the realities of many of the people here.
Third is that in southern Maine this is less of an issue. The further south you go in New England, the less of a factor it is but overall you cannot get free from it. It's something you will have to accept and learn to tolerate if you want to live here. There's no point in attempting to change or educate anyone either, even if they want to understand you or try to understand, they cant.
I've been to smaller towns in other places like Maryland, Cape cod, Florida, North Carolina. Yes there are some similarities in this mentality in all small towns but people moving here need to understand that in Maine it's on a whole other level of obnoxious. Other places are more use to outsiders and more generally educated to the outside world. Maine in contrast is very secluded and if you have been anywhere else you will stand out. You've hung out with "those people" and there is a certain resentment there. That resentment will come out in various ways and I wouldn't classify it as mature or reasonable on any level.
The good things on Maine?
Nature
Peaceful
Low stress
Great to raise a family
Less expensive than the rest of New England (particularly inland)
Less competition for jobs
You can and will meet people who get it and even those who don't, if you can learn to tolerate them and desire to fit in, they can be extremely loyal.
People can be very nice and friendly compared to other parts of new England. Smiling and saying hi, flashing lights to let you know your lights are off, stuff like that.
I am not sure about "Less competition for jobs". I am on pension, so I have no first-hand experience competing for jobs in Maine. This sounds like your saying that jobs are easy to find. I see a lot of 'hiring' signs for Minimum-Wage part-time jobs. I am not sure there are a lot of openings for jobs that can support a family.
" There's no point in attempting to change or educate anyone either, even if they want to understand you or try to understand, they cant. "
"You can and will meet people who get it and even those who don't, if you can learn to tolerate them and desire to fit in, they can be extremely loyal."
.
Hmmm.......So is that what you see as you are looking down upon these people ?
I hardly ever post but I came across this post and found other's opinions to be extremely interesting. I am a native Mainer, born and raised and moved to NY in 2002. My husband and I want to relocate and he wants to go back to Maine, but I am torn about moving back home. On the one hand, If I move back home, I have family there but I really was wanting a more metro/southern feel. While i miss the Ocean and the food, I don't miss the people's mentality (sorry..and that includes my family still there). I get what the OP is saying. There is a "backwards" feel to the mentality there and I think someone else said similarly that once you become cultured it's hard to return. It's so true that Mainers don't like outsiders, esp those from NY and Mass. I am not sure that I even want to go back, esp with the cost of living. rental prices seem to be ridiculous there now. On the more positive side, I do agree that Maine is a safe place to live with a more laid back atmosphere and fairly low crime rate. It is a great place to raise a family and/or retire.
I hardly ever post but I came across this post and found other's opinions to be extremely interesting. I am a native Mainer, born and raised and moved to NY in 2002. My husband and I want to relocate and he wants to go back to Maine, but I am torn about moving back home. On the one hand, If I move back home, I have family there but I really was wanting a more metro/southern feel. While i miss the Ocean and the food, I don't miss the people's mentality (sorry..and that includes my family still there). I get what the OP is saying. There is a "backwards" feel to the mentality there and I think someone else said similarly that once you become cultured it's hard to return. It's so true that Mainers don't like outsiders, esp those from NY and Mass. I am not sure that I even want to go back, esp with the cost of living. rental prices seem to be ridiculous there now. On the more positive side, I do agree that Maine is a safe place to live with a more laid back atmosphere and fairly low crime rate. It is a great place to raise a family and/or retire.
No disrespect. But really, is it any wonder that Mainers are a bit skeptical of people from away, when such pure, unadulterated, negative bile gets thrown at Maine and Mainers??? Are we supposed to be like the waif in Oliver...."please sir, can I have some more"??
No disrespect. But really, is it any wonder that Mainers are a bit skeptical of people from away, when such pure, unadulterated, negative bile gets thrown at Maine and Mainers??? Are we supposed to be like the waif in Oliver...."please sir, can I have some more"??
No disrespect taken Maineguy but remember I am from maine. born and raised. I think it's twofold. People who don't understand the culture or people of Maine tend to spew negativity and natives certainly spew negativity to the outsiders.. so it is a catch 22.
My point is that once I moved away, I became more cultured and experienced life in a different light so from that perspective alone it may be hard to mingle/interact with folks who aren't cultured. You have to admit that mainers are usually stuck in their own world views and don't broaden that too often. (esp the older folk). I still have a lot of friends and family up there and just from personal conversations do I make this inference alone. I think someone on this thread commented about "forget trying to educate" .. etc.. From my experience living there and going back for visits I still come to the same conclusion that a lot of Mainers don't travel too far and they are fine with just staying right there. I'd like to think the younger generations are a tad more liberal but they are also usually transplanted into the state.
There are a lot of positive things I can contribute though. One is the friendliness. Mainers (and I will always pride myself on this) are friendly and will help you unconditionally. If you break down on the side of the road, someone will stop for you and help. I never encountered "Rude" until I left the state. You can also get work done on cars cheap as someone who knows someone will usually give you the hookup. Lots of old fashioned values also come to mind so if you're not into change too much then you'll fit right in. Usually the same goes for housing, finding jobs etc. Someone always knows someone that can help you.
You can't lose with all of the clean lakes and of course, the ocean. I grew up swimming in Watchic lake in Standish, Sebago Lake and of course OOB and Scarborough beach were my hang outs for the ocean.
Nature of course is a huge plus. Lots of fresh blueberries and other fruits are always a hit and farm fresh corn and vegetables are awesome. I always tell people to make sure they buy from side of the road farm stands.
Great place for hunting, fishing, swimming and nature trails/hiking and skiing/snowmobiling in the winter.
I haven't been home in 15 years so I can't speak on the job market. I'm sure there have been many changes. Aside from health care and retail, i'm not sure what other opportunities are in abundance there.
Irfox's post is so interesting. I am researching a move back to New England, mainly considering MA and ME.
I like the Berkshires, where I lived for a while (grew up in Stoughton, MA in the SE part of the state) and on the Mass forums all anyone ever says about the Berkshires is that it's just a bunch of horrible New Yorkers. I lived happily in Manhattan for 15 years; New Yorkers are a mixed bag, like all human communities, but it's really not devoid of nice people. Many of my friends lucky enough to have rent stabilized apts still live there. But to read these threads New Yorkers are evil and invasive, and that part of Mass most visited by New Yorkers is not really Mass.
In Maine, the villains are the people from Mass, same discourse.
I live in FL and love my job a lot--but I don't love living here at all, for a number of reasons. BUT one of the things that is very likeable about the state of FL is that everyone has just moved there, too, and so any type of "real" Florida quarrel is never even brought up. No one ever asks where anyone is from in Florida, the whole idea of this topic fatigues everyone. Nobody cares where anyone came from. Indifference is almost as good as tolerance.
In FL, there is nothing of the discussion of
*how to pronounce the names of regions and towns, as on the Mass forum. Or how to outline the state's topography if you are from away. Oh, my. The Berkshires are not in Western Mass. If you can't pronounce Holyoke, you should leave the room.
*how to define the "real" residents (an obsession on both the Maine and the Mass sites).
I was on the FL forum for a while, but hardly anyone ever posts there, except people planning to move there. People who are already there are indifferent.
I am moving to be closer to my (large) extended family, so I will not have to make a lot of other new contacts, though of course that would be nice. When I first moved to NYC to attend graduate school, at age 20, two policemen were shot just outside my house during the first month. That was grim. That was horrible. Getting hostile vibes from total strangers? Kind of not up there in the trauma-of-moving dept. for me.
With the OP, I can see that the cold shoulder from loved ones would be awful.
I always do find a kindred spirit or two wherever I live (have moved around quite a bit in life) but never ever by hunting for one.
Last edited by ladyalicemore; 09-12-2016 at 10:27 PM..
One of the more interesting threads I've read, from top to bottom, on CD in quite some time..
BTW, the phrase " release the hounds" is also an old standby from Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons", so maybe it's best to see the humor in it..
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