Gay Portland? (Washburn: 2009, buy, friendly)

[elston]

I don't even know what straight looking and straight acting means any more than any stereotypical images of gay men seem to apply to my friends. Of course some people dress and act the stereotypes of each orientation, from the super macho obnoxious guy hitting on all the women in the club to the effeminet (<--spelling) guy who works at the florists (my apologies to the straight and the gay florists) but all in all diversity means just that--we are all different. What concerns me is the idea that gay men need to keep a low profile or not "act gay". That would be like asking someone not to "act hetero". We are who we are. We are all responsible for our public behavior but our orientation is a given. Our culture is awash with overt heterosexual images and messages in advertisements and public behavior. I reject "don't ask don't tell" as a rule of society. I am sure that if you met my partner and I, and spent some time with us, you would figure out we are gay. (We are in love and it is apparent.) We don't hold hands or kiss in public, but sometimes we do "touch" eg. hand on shoulder. It is more a matter of deference and respect and affection. Like the old Doris Day song, My Secret Loves, No Secret Anymore.

[Bydand]

Originally Posted by elston

...to the effeminet (<--spelling) guy who works at the florists (my apologies to the straight and the gay florists) but all in all diversity means just that--we are all different.

LOL!! This line made me chuckle. Like I said before, I'm about as straight as you can get, and working in construction I don't tend to dress in dockers and button downs. I used to have a favorite florist in Presque Isle that I had do all the flowers I would send to the girls I was dating or trying to impress. He made the blond guy on "Straight guy" look positively macho. He did a great job and it never bothered me in the least if I was out with friends and he walked in and sat at the table and started talking. Didn't bother my friends either because he knew every single woman in the place and would introduce us to them all night long. Thinking back it must have looked a bit odd to anybody visiting the area to see this very gay guy, usually with his date, sitting and laughing with a bunch of construction workers, and farmers. Like you said, to each his own. Diversity makes the world an interesting place.

[elston]

Originally Posted by Bydand

LOL!! This line made me chuckle. Like I said before, I'm about as straight as you can get, and working in construction I don't tend to dress in dockers and button downs. I used to have a favorite florist in Presque Isle that I had do all the flowers I would send to the girls I was dating or trying to impress. He made the blond guy on "Straight guy" look positively macho. He did a great job and it never bothered me in the least if I was out with friends and he walked in and sat at the table and started talking. Didn't bother my friends either because he knew every single woman in the place and would introduce us to them all night long. Thinking back it must have looked a bit odd to anybody visiting the area to see this very gay guy, usually with his date, sitting and laughing with a bunch of construction workers, and farmers. Like you said, to each his own. Diversity makes the world an interesting place.

God Bless You Bydand! You exemplify exactly what I mean. I believe we as a society will eventually get to a point where people aren't so afraid and uptight, and that everyone can focus on being the best person THEY can be and not worry so much about other people. My orientation shouldn't have to be an issue for anyone else. Again, bless you, you give me hope and make me smile--I can't give you anymore rep points or I certainly would.

[migrjo]

oceanfit185 made a guess...

"When I was growing up it was a part of the West End. I think it has moved over time to a few blocks in the Munjoy Hill area. But I’m not sure."

...but, other than that, we haven't addressed this directly.

DOES Portland have a "gay/gay-friendly" neighborhood?

Everyone, ask your gay and lesbian friends and allies who normally have no access to this website for their input.

Just a thought: does the city council have an openly gay or lesbian representative?

Thanks,
M.

[Phjegood]

Most Mainers seem to have a "live and let live" attitude.

[elston]

Phjegood, you may not realize it but you are bringing up a discussion that pretty much ended in November in this thread. There isnt anything wrong with it but the person who posted it has probably stopped checking on this thread, and the regulars have pretty much hashed this out and wonder why it is being turned over again. (I know because when I first came to the forum, I was reading every post chronicolgically and commenting--there by bringing them back to the top of the pile) I am really counting on that attitude you describe. I know that it isnt universal but we arent talking heaven we are talking about real communities with real people who run the spectrum.

[skytrekker]

Gay men tend to run the gamut from ultra masculine-into extreme body building, motorcycles, leather and a strong and at times obnoxious forced masculine attitude- to the other end of the spectrum- being rather effeminate. In New England- most gay men tend to be rather 'average'-and blend in to the prevailing culture here, be it straight or gay- they behave the 'New England' kind of way.

There are a few that fit a 'stereotype'- but they are in the minority.

[elston]

Originally Posted by skytrekker

Gay men tend to run the gamut from ultra masculine-into extreme body building, motorcycles, leather and a strong and at times obnoxious forced masculine attitude- to the other end of the spectrum- being rather effeminate. In New England- most gay men tend to be rather 'average'-and blend in to the prevailing culture here, be it straight or gay- they behave the 'New England' kind of way.

There are a few that fit a 'stereotype'- but they are in the minority.

LOL I don't think I ever fit any "stereotype" but I am also pretty sure that we don't "blend in" very well either, As a couple we are anything but invisible, not obviously gay unless you notice that we clearly love one another. Two inordinately happy older men one of whom is Japanese and the other who talks too much. Both who are really in love with life and nature and who dote on our two dogs way too much. I hope our neighbors shrug and say, Whats not to like--they are quiet and keep their yard neat."

[Bydand]

Who wouldn't want Santa living next to them? Still thinking about that earlier post elston. I'm sure your neighbors will love having a nice quiet older couple next to them, regardless of the make-up of that couple. I know I just love my next door neighbors who just happen to be a gay couple. they are very much in love and have been for at least 10 years that I know of. When we moved back to Washburn after spending a couple of years away, they were the first ones to come running over to give great big welcome back hugs. I'm sure if you are half as friendly and nice as you come across in your post, anybody with half a brain will see that and welcome you and your partner into their neighborhood.

[WantToMoveToMaine]

How refreshing! I can't tell you how afraid I was seeing the title of this thread and, expecting some hateful comments, but it is amazing to see real thoughtful and supportive posts. My wife and I have a two year old son and a girl due in March, and part of my research with regards to our move to Maine has centered on finding a place that is open, supportive, diverse and respectful of all people... and animals. So this is just great to see. Having lived in the Mid-West, Texas and currently NJ over the past few years, we have been witness to some very hateful attitudes toward all kinds of people, and although I'm sure those people are everywhere, it seems there are less of them in Maine. Thinking back on our last visit to Maine we couldn't get over how nice everyone was, laid back and just so eager to chat. I can't wait to be neighbors with people that have a live and let live attitude!