Dating in Portland (live, moving, baptists)

[BLev555]

All I can tell you Altguy - is good luck and lower your expectations.

I think single men have better luck meeting women in the Pearl. Stick to that area.

As a "preppie" guy myself, I have had plenty of success dating in Portland but, like dating anywhere, finding a good match is really difficult. There seems to be a hex on anything longterm here. Well, maybe it's me. Fortunately I found my match, but not in Portland.

I'd be happy to offer more insight but I'm sure I've already pissed off enough people. Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

[Leisesturm]

Here's what I'd like to know: what do people mean when they say they are "picky"? I only use the word when referring to other people because they use it. I personally have no concept for that term. As a straight male I have a preference for a female partner. I start with that. Sometimes that gets you down the road for a year, a few years, a few weeks... one date... But at the end you have learned about what you liked or didn't in another person. Some people drive it from the other way: they put forth a laundry list and then attempt to match someone to it. Maybe it's me but I think my way is better. I would never have met my present partner if I had parsed her stats against my druthers. She is nothing like what I 'go for'. Nevertheless we will be 5 years in this September. Do I kid myself that I am her be all and end all? I fear that the inability to see the difference between 'compromise' and 'settle', is what makes so many serial daters think that theres just no one out there for them.

The Pearl is what... a square mile? Is it reasonable to confine ones dating activities to a single square mile of a city of ~53??,000? Hmmmmm. I didn't meet my sweetie in PDX either but that is just how it went. I could have. In the same way that I could live in just about any city that will have me I could also find someone to be with (and vice versa) in any city that will have me. Its all about me... correction, its more about me than it is about the other person. Someone who can never find anyone is not unlucky or "picky" they are having a problem even knowing when they are onto a good thing. Its a common problem these days. I'm more sorry for the people that these "picky" people churn through than I am sorry for picky people themselves.

I also disagree that there is any significant latina presence in PDX worth getting excited about. Those of us that live here will think I'm off my meds but I know what I am talking about. I haven't yet been wrong in my observations and my observation is that the flavor of Hispanic predominant in PDX will not appeal to either ATL or CJ. The latina princesses that have their European bloodlines strong and present like exotic Americans are not present here in huge numbers. Any that are still up for grabs by the time either of you arrive I would myself want to avoid. But that's me.

H

[Metlakatla]

Originally Posted by Leisesturm

I also disagree that there is any significant latina presence in PDX worth getting excited about. Those of us that live here will think I'm off my meds but I know what I am talking about. I haven't yet been wrong in my observations and my observation is that the flavor of Hispanic predominant in PDX will not appeal to either ATL or CJ. The latina princesses that have their European bloodlines strong and present like exotic Americans are not present here in huge numbers. Any that are still up for grabs by the time either of you arrive I would myself want to avoid. But that's me.

H

Then by all means, avoid them. You're obviously taken anyway. But here's some news for you...the Latina ladies that you're advising others to avoid are human beings in their own right. Tough concept, I know.

[Leisesturm]

Originally Posted by Metlakatla

Then by all means, avoid them. You're obviously taken anyway. But here's some news for you...the Latina ladies that you're advising others to avoid are human beings in their own right. Tough concept, I know.

I apologize. The whole point of my post was that no one should avoid anyone because you just never know. But I got specific because the o.p. was specific. The point I was making was clear in my head but your comments have pointed out how it might be taken another way. More work to do. But not tonight. I'll leave it there.

H

[sunscribble]

I understood what Leisesturm was getting at. He wasn't saying that the Latina population here is unattractive or unworthy. Rather, he recognized that Atlguy39 is looking for a certain prototype that is much more specific than "good human being who I connect with and who loves me".

Leisesturm actually seemed to be questioning Atlguy39's approach of using preconceived physical specs to measure his dates against. If I read correctly, Leisesturm was saying that a preferable approach would be to meet a person eye to eye as a human being first and then see where it goes from there.

I think this video sums up what Leisesturm was trying to say...

Maybe Atlguy39 will find love in spite of himself.


"In Spite of Ourselves" by John Prine & Iris DeMent

[carolinajack]

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

Wow, so this "preppie" guy may have a problem, not to mention the fact that I'm picky as hell. I want an attractive early 30's woman with long, dark hair who is smart, funny, down to earth, and in good shape. Seems too much to ask. Oh, and I forgot to add, one who is clean and shaves her legs and armpits! Guess I need to say that if I might move to Portland.

beautiful hispanic and asian women in portland, and try going outside of portland to meet dates--while in Hillsboro 3 weeks ago, a bevy of beautiful latinas came into starbucks, i was pleasantly surprised.

[carolinajack]

preppy guy here too from Charleston SC, educated in New England(more of an LL Bean preppy here than city or suburban type).Moving to Portland in 3 wks

[carolinajack]

yeah picky from a guy can land you alone! a kind, nice, caring, giving, loving person is more apt to last than good looks and good shape, but hey to each his own bro.

[Ryant]

Yeah, what's with this strict list thing. It sounds like someone needs to come down to earth a little. I understand, it happens after you're in a long relationship. In reality you should be more then grateful if some girl takes an interest in you. Hopefully you'll figure that out sooner then later!

[Metlakatla]

Originally Posted by sunscribble

I understood what Leisesturm was getting at. He wasn't saying that the Latina population here is unattractive or unworthy. Rather, he recognized that Atlguy39 is looking for a certain prototype that is much more specific than "good human being who I connect with and who loves me".

Leisesturm actually seemed to be questioning Atlguy39's approach of using preconceived physical specs to measure his dates against. If I read correctly, Leisesturm was saying that a preferable approach would be to meet a person eye to eye as a human being first and then see where it goes from there.

I think this video sums up what Leisesturm was trying to say...

Maybe Atlguy39 will find love in spite of himself.


"In Spite of Ourselves" by John Prine & Iris DeMent

OK I get it now; love that song.

When I was about 12 this "dream boy" materialized in my mind. He changed a little over the next two years, but he was always blond, and his hair had to be straight. Any boy who paid attention to me was immediately compared with him, found lacking, and dismissed...which was fine because I was 12. I forgot about him when I was ready to, though now and then he does cross my mind. Maybe the OP isn't ready to forget about the long darked haired dream girl of his imagination...but that will get in his way of finding anything real.