U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Oregon > Portland
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 10-12-2011, 03:34 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,454 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

Hello! I am planning on moving to Portland and some of the info on the internet is disheartening! Maybe only the unhappy people post things? Here is what I am like:

Young, married Professional (will already have a job secured)
Laid back, "Hippie" mentality
Love Ethnic foods
Want to be near mass transit and a big city
Environmentalist
Pro-change
Ride horses (but not scared of rain with an indoor arena)
Love to camp, hike, be outside
Very Spiritual, but do not like organized religion very much

I think Portland would be perfect for us but am worried about a couple of things:
My new job is commission based only and I read that people in Portland aren't very welcoming or nice....is this true? (I am very outgoing, nice, etc. and would hope to attract nice people anywhere).

The weather...Is it that bad? It may not rain all the time where I live now but it is only nice for about a month in the fall and a month in the spring. It is too hot in the summer and humid to be outside more than 5 minutes and cold and wet in winter. So it seems to me that perfect weather 3 months of the year isn't so bad.

Where to live? It sounds like there are a lot of ideal neighborhoods and it is overwhelming to search through. I want one that has access to public transportation, is within 20 minutes to downtown, has a farmer's market and other stores that you can walk to, dog friendly, has parks you can walk to, and has personality.

Any advice you can give is much appreciated!
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-12-2011, 03:49 PM
 
305 posts, read 299,696 times
Reputation: 157
I think most of those concerns were blown out of proportion by others. Portlanders are VERY friendly and it doesn't rain all the time. There are a few neighborhoods that are shady (what big city doesn't), but otherwise it's hard to go wrong living anywhere in Portland.

From the profile you listed about yourself, you'll LOVE it up there.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Chicago
319 posts, read 255,391 times
Reputation: 383
Quote:
Originally Posted by Becca9 View Post
Hello! I am planning on moving to Portland and some of the info on the internet is disheartening! Maybe only the unhappy people post things? Here is what I am like:

Young, married Professional (will already have a job secured)
Laid back, "Hippie" mentality
Love Ethnic foods
Want to be near mass transit and a big city
Environmentalist
Pro-change
Ride horses (but not scared of rain with an indoor arena)
Love to camp, hike, be outside
Very Spiritual, but do not like organized religion very much

I think Portland would be perfect for us but am worried about a couple of things:
My new job is commission based only and I read that people in Portland aren't very welcoming or nice....is this true? (I am very outgoing, nice, etc. and would hope to attract nice people anywhere).

The weather...Is it that bad? It may not rain all the time where I live now but it is only nice for about a month in the fall and a month in the spring. It is too hot in the summer and humid to be outside more than 5 minutes and cold and wet in winter. So it seems to me that perfect weather 3 months of the year isn't so bad.

Where to live? It sounds like there are a lot of ideal neighborhoods and it is overwhelming to search through. I want one that has access to public transportation, is within 20 minutes to downtown, has a farmer's market and other stores that you can walk to, dog friendly, has parks you can walk to, and has personality.

Any advice you can give is much appreciated!
Hi Becca9, I had an old friend/co-worker who sounds like she might be your psychological twin sister, depending on where you are from of course. She was living in central IL and was very artsy, hippie, laid-back, etc, and also vegetarian.

She lasted 6 months there...

I lived out that way for about 3 years. I found most of what the negative things people say about the pacific northwest, and Portland specifically to be closer to the truth than the majority of positive things people say. I really believe that people force themselves to believe that the PAC-NW is paradise, when in fact a healthy dose of complaining about things makes beneficial improvements popular and eventually requires political or social action. (Obviously a weather control machine is years off )

That said, if you are friendly and outgoing, if you say something that is interpreted as a criticism you will be immediately ostracized. The people are also generally passive aggressive, which I'm sure you've read about if you've been searching for perspectives on Portland. I found that the majority of people that I was exposed to were all different flavors of the same person and it got very boring to me. I've talked to others who have returned to Chicago and they all agree wholeheartedly with me with my take on Portland.

OK, good luck!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,640 posts, read 2,687,927 times
Reputation: 4260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isotope-C14 View Post

That said, if you are friendly and outgoing, if you say something that is interpreted as a criticism you will be immediately ostracized. The people are also generally passive aggressive, which I'm sure you've read about if you've been searching for perspectives on Portland. I found that the majority of people that I was exposed to were all different flavors of the same person and it got very boring to me. I've talked to others who have returned to Chicago and they all agree wholeheartedly with me with my take on Portland.

OK, good luck!
Although I know what passive aggressive is, sort of, I'd be very interested in specific examples. I've lived in Portland so long I must not see it. Could you describe a passive aggressive scenario that happened to you here in Portland and then describe how the same scenario might be played out in Chicago? This expression comes up so often in describing Portland, I'd like to have a better understanding of it. And try not to be that way if I am.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Chicago
319 posts, read 255,391 times
Reputation: 383
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
Although I know what passive aggressive is, sort of, I'd be very interested in specific examples. I've lived in Portland so long I must not see it. Could you describe a passive aggressive scenario that happened to you here in Portland and then describe how the same scenario might be played out in Chicago? This expression comes up so often in describing Portland, I'd like to have a better understanding of it. And try not to be that way if I am.
Sure. Here's a perfect example. It didn't even happen to me, well directly. A fellow I met looked panicked when I was in California and said I lived in Portland. I noticed the panic because I'm perceptive and social and not immensely awkward. I said immediately, Oh, I'm not *one* of them. They hate me there too.

He looked relieved and then told me the story of how he was introduced to a couple of his friend's acquaintances, in Portland, and they exchanged names and as he sat down, they got up and left. I'd love to say this was an isolated experience, but it's really not. If you don't fit into a very specific idea of what people should dress like, in a given situation, you are treated like an outsider, and people make this VERY clear (OMG did you see that normal person with a t-shirt, short hair and hole-less jeans? How 1979)...
^ Chicago people are more chatty, people generally will talk to you for a while, if they think you are a jerk, they'll either tell you directly or get up and at least tell you that they are going to say a different bar, etc. You wouldn't just silently get up and leave.

I told him that I was at this bar, a sort of counter-cultural one and this pair sat down and said hello to me and a couple of the people I was with. I looked at them and said, Hi, where the heck are you from? The locals aren't usually friendly here. And they responded "Seattle". I chuckled and we hung out with them the rest of the night. At the same bar I had previously met very nice people from other countries...
^ In Chicago, people tend to be pretty friendly, especially with a few drinks in 'em. If I had a nickle for every stranger I talked to in a bar.

A classic, which I got all the time out there, was that if you talked about something that someone didn't know about, you would get this whole routine "Why are you talking down to me, you shouldn't treat people like that"... Yeah, my education makes you the victim... How are you supposed to have this whole "Portland open mind BS" when you are unwilling to learn anything new.
^ Generally people smile and nod, or say, I really don't have any understanding of this, could you tell me like I'm 4? (People tend to try, at least a little bit, to understand other people, and you are kind of forced to since there are so many cultures hodge-podged here)

I can appreciate that people who have varying levels of passive-agressiveness need a place to live. But the OP says she is outgoing and friendly. She may meet friendly outgoing people there occasionally too, but it's really not the norm. People might be surface-fake-friendly but after dealing with that for a month or so becomes super transparent.
^Surface-fake-friendly is hard to compare. I'm sure there are Chicagoans who are super fake, but they aren't the day-to-day norm, at least in my life.

If the OP identifies with East of the Mississippi culture moreso than West, I'd suggest avoiding Portland like the plague. People who grew up West of the Mississippi seem to love Portland something fierce.

Last edited by Isotope-C14; 10-12-2011 at 07:21 PM.. Reason: Forgot to address the Chicago component
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,640 posts, read 2,687,927 times
Reputation: 4260
I'm still confused about this. These seem like isolated incidents. I was once a newcomer to Portland in 1975 and I never encountered any of this behavior. I guess I will never understand this perception of Portlanders. I have made many good friends here though the normal channels and was never "walked out on" or been "walked out on" as described here. I can think of a few times when I did not connect with someone I met, but it was always handled with the usual social niceties. I really don't see where "passive aggressive" plays in these situations. If you meet someone that there is obviously no future relationship possible with, how are you supposed to handle it? Say " I don't like you and get the hell out of here" or quietly slip away? I just don't get where "passive aggressive" describes the situation.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Chicago
319 posts, read 255,391 times
Reputation: 383
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
I'm still confused about this. These seem like isolated incidents. I was once a newcomer to Portland in 1975 and I never encountered any of this behavior. I guess I will never understand this perception of Portlanders. I have made many good friends here though the normal channels and was never "walked out on" or been "walked out on" as described here. I can think of a few times when I did not connect with someone I met, but it was always handled with the usual social niceties. I really don't see where "passive aggressive" plays in these situations. If you meet someone that there is obviously no future relationship possible with, how are you supposed to handle it? Say " I don't like you and get the hell out of here" or quietly slip away? I just don't get where "passive aggressive" describes the situation.
The answer is in what year you came to Portland. The fact of the matter is that in younger social circles, the passive aggressiveness is clear.

When I lived there, the only people that I got along with for the most part were 20 years my senior. Not too good for dating prospects for someone my age, heh.

If you don't agree with these situations as passive aggressive, perhaps antisocial behavior is a better term for it. As I check the wiki, victimization response fits one of my vignettes. I think the whole silently get up and leave would fall under the sulking category.

"If you meet someone that there is obviously no future relationship possible with"

^^^ this in itself to me would be a statement that I would regard as anti-social. How do you judge someone so quickly? I'm pretty darn smart, and I can't usually size up someone from one meeting. I've come off as a jerk to people on the first meeting and ended up becoming great friends. One of my best friends came off like a jerk to everyone he ever met, including me, and he's a fantastic individual, I still see him regularly. I think my point here is clear...
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,640 posts, read 2,687,927 times
Reputation: 4260
Well, I think all the psychoanalytical lingo is a pile of crap. What you just described is the human experience. We all have best firends we thought were jerks and vice versa. I find it inconceivable that an entire city could/would develop a particular psychosis/attitude/passive aggressiveness/anti-social aspect. Your experience here may have been illuminated by who you are, not by who we are. "We" are not the borg, where resistance is futile - you will assimilate. Any individual will experience Portland based on what they bring to it. Trying to psychoanalyze an entire city is an exercise in futility. We are as homogeneous as anywhere else. Human beings here are as varied as anywhere else. I will never accept that Portlanders are somehow brainwashed into some sort of Stepford Wife mentality. We go about our daily lives much the same as anywhere else. What you brought here is what you wrought here. Nothing more, nothing less.

Last edited by sayulita; 10-12-2011 at 08:56 PM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Chicago
319 posts, read 255,391 times
Reputation: 383
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
Well, I think all the psychoanalytical lingo is a pile of crap. What you just described is the human experience. We all have best firends we thought were jerks and vice versa. I find it inconceivable that an entire city could/would develop a particular psychosis/attitude/passive aggressiveness/anti-social completely improbable. Your experience here may have been illuminated by who you are, not by who we are. "We" are not the borg, where resistance is futile - you will assimilate. Any individual will experience Portland based on what they bring to it. Trying to psychoanalyze an entire city is an exercise in futility. We are as homogeneous as anywhere else. Human beings here are as varied as anywhere else. I will never accept that Portlanders are somehow brainwashed into some sort of Stepford Wife mentality. We go about our daily lives much the same as anywhere else. What you brought here is what you wrought here. Nothing more, nothing less.
If you think all the psychoanalytical lingo is a pile of crap, why did you ask in the first place?

Though, I do think you are doing a favor for prepping the OP for what type of debate is permitted.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2011, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
2,640 posts, read 2,687,927 times
Reputation: 4260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isotope-C14 View Post
If you think all the psychoanalytical lingo is a pile of crap, why did you ask in the first place?

Though, I do think you are doing a favor for prepping the OP for what type of debate is permitted.
Because I question the casual flinging about of psycho babble. "Passive aggressive" is a popular "diagnosis" these days. Most folks, including me, don't have a clear grasp on what it means. And to use it to describe an entire population is careless and lazy. The OP can gather what she may but Portland is a city full of many- liberal and conservative, straight and gay, young and old - what have you. Just like any other metropolis in the country. Come or don't come. Bloom where you're planted. But don't buy into any labels you come across. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't see the beauty - move on, by all means.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2011 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Oregon > Portland

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top