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So, here's my quandary: I moved to Portland, OR just over four years ago with my then-girlfriend... but, as things sometimes go, the relationship just didn't work out, and we split up about six months ago for amiable reasons.
So, I moved in with a few of my bandmates up here in Vancouver (technically WA, but still PDX-area) and am pretty happy with my new digs, but as I'm not getting any younger, I'm somewhat anxious to get on with at least dating around again. It's not really a "This needs to happen yesterday!" sort of thing, but I've been eyeballing the proverbial dating horizon for a while (you do such things in a floundering relationship) and Portland's not thrown me any bones before or after the split. It's one of the things I've found a bit daunting and peculiar about the area... there don't seem to be too many single, attractive, and outgoing women around... at least in the places I mill about. I never really had much trouble with meeting women in Phoenix (where I previously was) which is kinda funny as I almost certainly fit in here a bit better with my musician/designer leanings... but then, I lived in Phoenix for quite a while and knew which places were rife with groups of single girls that were my type and vice/versa.
Seems like every place I turn up here is awash with couples, little groups of friends that might have a couple of girls in tow (almost always attached to some guy), but mostly guys... just lots of guys in general. Mostly bars, I guess. Coffee houses, as hip-Northwest as they be, are far more solitary and anti-social than a lot of the actual hangout types of places I trolled back in PHX. There's just no "crowd", young people mingling with intent. It's almost certainly that I don't know the right places, as the quantity/quality is all but ubiquitously dismal everywhere I drift into (nine times out of ten, I'm hitting places for all sorts of random reasons beyond dating: concerts, food, a busy bar to meet friends, random coffee shop after shopping)... so I'm kinda looking for some advice on Portland/Vancouver area staples that really lend themselves to the mingley single thang. My friends don't have suggestion one , as most are pretty disenfranchised with dating and/or the opposite sex (for a variety of reasons, I don't really judge or care), and the "Just meet someone anywhere... grocery store, book store..." thing has never been my cup o' chaos theory (seriously, I've never met anyone that actually met someone so happenstance)...
Is there something that I'm missing? I've done a lot of things over the course of four years of being here, been to countless shows at venues, eateries, outlets both independent and corporate and there's no spark anywhere. I've been doing a few on-line dating sites (regionally, of course) as well and that's been utterly fruitless as well. So, how's a bright, decent lookin', dynamic guy navigate this town?
Consider taking up an activity that you might enjoy, where women outnumber men. Cooking, painting, calligraphy, ceramics, zumba, animal rescue, dancing, etc, are full of women. These women have daughters, sisters, and friends. By doing an activity over a period of time, women have an opportunity to get acquainted over a period of time. Only the most extroverted and/or attractive people can meet someone special the first time they see them. Most of us need to see them several times, so we can tell that they're consistent in their behavior.
I'm not saying that you can't meet nice women during male-dominated activities. Nor am I saying that love at first sight doesn't occur. I'm just trying to help you "cast a wider net."
First off, you can stop calling it "Vantucky." It's annoying and hardly descriptive of the town and it's historic contributions to the region.
Have you tried Internet Dating? There is a reason why 1 in 5 couples in the United States has met via online match sites these days.
Agree 100% with Hamellr. It's really annoying to hear someone use the name "Vantucky." It kind of has a derogatory connotation.
Regarding meeting people, I always found the best way was to seek out clubs or groups with shared interests. Classes have been always helpful because it's a good ice-breaker during breaks to chat with people about the class subject.
Believe it or not, in my many years living in Portland, I have met people who have become good friends and good dates by doing this.
I have been out of the loop for awhile but I don't think Portland or Vancouver have actual singles bars or places where people actively go to look for partners as happens in some cities.
I don't know much about online dating but apparently people have success with it.
Met my bf of 9 years online ....u can narrow down ur interests.....what u want...etc..and a pic...u can riffle through tons of singles and find ms right! Go for it
WOW. So misinformed. I was born and raised on the west coast. I moved to Louisville, KY 6 years ago. It reminds me a lot of Portland. Hundreds of amazing restaurants, museums, 126 parks in Louisville alone, music, arts, theater... lot's do do here. It's actually a really cool city.
I am moving back to Portland in the next 3 months, I miss my family and for a few other reasons. I will miss it here, and visit often.
" Vantucky 144 up, 68 down
Vancouver, WA. Think Kentucky but in a different part of the county, and just a city. Just across from the river from Portland, OR the whole city seems to be a few years behind and mullets and 4x4 raised American made trucks are plentiful.
With a truck like that, they must be from Vantucky. "
First off, you can stop calling it "Vantucky." It's annoying and hardly descriptive of the town and it's historic contributions to the region.
You're kidding, right... because Iraq is a respectable metropolitan wonderland thanks to the Cradle of Civilization being located there some time ago. Frankly, I got Vantucky from some of my Vancouverite friends, many who have lived here their whole lives, and have no intention of leaving. However, most of them would probably agree with me that the truck-nuts-to-library-card ratio is pretty abysmal on this side of the river. There's a number of things I like about the place, but seriously... let's all be honest here... it ain't a shining beacon of prosperity and sophistication. I've seen worse (I'm from Upstate New York, originally), but I assure you, the 'Tucky fits. Travel a bit... it'll do your perspective some good.
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Have you tried Internet Dating? There is a reason why 1 in 5 couples in the United States has met via online match sites these days.
So I've heard... not sure I buy into that statistic. I've been a few sites for about four or five months now (OK Cupid, and Plenty Of Fish), and am not having any luck whatsoever. No one seems very responsive and/or outgoing. I've only got a few ladies (like, two) to respond, and the dialog goes nowhere. No one's agreed to the meet me thing either. I've clicked/messaged literately hundreds of profiles.
I've gotten a s**t-ton of advice on my profile, usually to do the opposite of whatever's on it at the time, and gone back-and-forth enough to suspect everyone is giving contrary advice for the sake of giving advice. I've tried so many angles that I'm pretty sure either the locals are impossible, the kind of girls that use on-line dating are impossible, or I'm really missing some trite-but-important tidbit.
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What do you do for a living, and for fun?
I'm a freelance designer, mechanical & industrial design being my forte, though I've been doing mostly graphic design of late as web development / social media seems to be a hotspot, and product design is in the dumps these days.
For fun, I'm a member of a couple of musical projects/bands. One of them plays out every once in a while, though we're in a writing phase at the moment. Being a musico, I hit up quite a few shows, both international/national level bands and local ones. The 'Couv has a pretty good music scene, actually... obviously, so does Portland. Outside of that, I'm a car aficionado, and dig on motor racing: F1, endurance, MotoGP... something I don't do much these days as the car events up here aren't very high-profile, and PIR doesn't bring in anything appreciable to the circuit. Back in the day, they hosted IMSA GTP and Champ Car, but it's all club racing and stuff without much of a draw. I also enjoy cooking, not all the time, but when I've got the time and energy away from work/music, I like to throw together something fun. Big fan of stand-up comedy, I probably should hit up some shows as they come through. Not sure if that's a good place to meet women.
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Are you a member of a church?
Atheist.
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Are those activities dominated by men, or women?
Men, mostly... but then, most places I wander into out here are 70% men... other than maybe shopping. Phoenix was so different, women seemed to be around, even just on the street or whatever, at bars, parties... whatever and some were [gasp] single. I'm into manly stuff, I guess you could say... but, lets be honest, most straight dudes are, that's why it's "manly" stuff. I guess I'm not as down with feigning interest in "lady-type activities", being the dude with ulterior motives at the hot yoga class. I'm a straightforward kinda dude and would rather just meet women in a meet market than pretending I'm into something I'm not.
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Consider taking up an activity that you might enjoy, where women outnumber men. Cooking, painting, calligraphy, ceramics, zumba, animal rescue, dancing, etc, are full of women. These women have daughters, sisters, and friends. By doing an activity over a period of time, women have an opportunity to get acquainted over a period of time. Only the most extroverted and/or attractive people can meet someone special the first time they see them. Most of us need to see them several times, so we can tell that they're consistent in their behavior.
Frankly, I'm not much of an "activity" guy. My favorite sports have no following/venues around here, and I like my own exercise done quick-n-dirty without being bugged. I do a lot of projects, but most are at home, in the shop, or on the computer... solitary stuff, or working with a friend or two. That's not to say I'm a homebody... at all. I like to get out, as do most of my friends. We're regularly at local pubs, restaurants, coffee, bookstores, shops and whatnot... I just haven't found any place with a decent number of single women and a mingley atmosphere... which brings me to:
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I have been out of the loop for awhile but I don't think Portland or Vancouver have actual singles bars or places where people actively go to look for partners as happens in some cities.
I just don't believe that. I get that different American cities have slightly shifting demographics and cultural ideals, but overall there's no way that a city with 2.3 million people, many local, many transplants, have NO singles spots. That's preposterous. I'm gonna have assume you're out of the loop here... which is okay. I'd just like not to be. C'mon, someone from around here has to know what's place, part of town, whatever.
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I'm not saying that you can't meet nice women during male-dominated activities. Nor am I saying that love at first sight doesn't occur. I'm just trying to help you "cast a wider net."
I don't really try to... hitching a woman at a heavy metal show is sorta akin to curing cancer... not saying it's impossible, you're got quite a feet to overcome though to get any reward. i.e. I don't bother. In the past, I've been a big proponent of high-traffic night life areas. I met a good number of single women on Mill Avenue in Tempe (basically the PHX's South Beach, Gaslamp, Bourbon Street, and whatnot) but Portland lacks that, due to the weather I can only assume. I also dug on a lot of coffee shops, especially ones that drew a consistent crowd of young singles and similar scenes. Coffee houses are more passing-though kinda places out here (or drive-through, how much more anti-social can you get?!), surprisingly, and lack any scene or charm. Bizarre for such a "cultured" town. The bar we frequent has a pretty consistent crowd, and is quite friendly, but it's the rock crowd for the most part, which is utterly devoid of women.
I'm sure there are places out there, I just haven't been focused on meeting women the whole time I've been out here and am in the dark about where to go... hence the thread.
Last edited by variant; 11-07-2011 at 01:58 AM..
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It's one of the things I've found a bit daunting and peculiar about the area... there don't seem to be too many single, attractive, and outgoing women around... at least in the places I mill about. I never really had much trouble with meeting women in Phoenix (where I previously was) which is kinda funny as I almost certainly fit in here a bit better with my musician/designer leanings... but then, I lived in Phoenix for quite a while and knew which places were rife with groups of single girls that were my type and vice/versa. 
Mostly bars, I guess. Coffee houses, as hip-Northwest as they be, are far more solitary and anti-social than a lot of the actual hangout types of places I trolled back in PHX. There's just no "crowd", young people mingling with intent. It's almost certainly that I don't know the right places, as the quantity/quality is all but ubiquitously dismal everywhere I drift into (nine times out of ten, I'm hitting places for all sorts of random reasons beyond dating: concerts, food, a busy bar to meet friends, random coffee shop after shopping)... so I'm kinda looking for some advice on Portland/Vancouver area staples that really lend themselves to the mingley single thang. My friends don't have suggestion one 
, as most are pretty disenfranchised with dating and/or the opposite sex (for a variety of reasons, I don't really judge or care), and the "Just meet someone anywhere... grocery store, book store..." thing has never been my cup o' chaos theory (seriously, I've never met anyone that actually met someone so happenstance)... 
