Is Portland gay friendly enough for me to move there? (apartment, rentals)

[fiercekween]

I recently posted on the San Francisco forum (about moving there). However... I did not know San Francisco was THE MOST EXPESIVE city to live in! So now I'm stuck in hell because I can't afford to live in any of the "gay friendly" cities.

I'm a 20yo African-American effeminate gay man living in Kansas City, Missouri. I am currently employed, and living on my own... but I HATE living here!!!

Everywhere I go I am plagued with stares, heckling, and in some instances physical assault.

But let me tell you guys about the last straw... I went running a couple weeks ago, and a man in an SUV started following me. I turned to look at him and he was slowly rolling beside me... I was scared so I started running faster so I could make it to my apartment safely. He started to speed up his car, yelling gay slurs! Luckily, I made it to my building and got inside safely. I was so scared and I don't know what would've happened if that man had caught me.

Initially I decided to stay here and finish school... However I found out that I was only fooling myself. I can't live here any longer. There is no gay community here. I can't go anywhere and feel safe or comfortable. You have to be 21 to do everything! Forget about a relationship, unless you’re into married men (they love sneaking around on the DL). I want to live somewhere that I can truly be myself, be SAFE, and be happy. I have no family support, I've never been west of Colorado, and I know absolutely no one outside of the Midwest region of the country.

In conclusion... I looked into a couple of bigger cities with reasonable costs of living. Portland seems to be about the same COL as Kansas City, MO. I pretty sure I would have a job, because I could transfer with my current employer. Should I move to Portland in hopes of being able to express myself freely? Is Portland gay friendly at all? But I'm not just gay I'm feminine as well. I don't know what to do... I just can't stay here any longer :-( Please help...

P.S. Here’s a video I did after everyone on the San Fran forum convinced me to stay in Missouri.. My opinion on staying here has since changed. I CANNOT live here for much longer...

I Wish I was Masculine - YouTube

[oldtintype]

People in Portland wouldn't pay any attention to you. No one cares. Being gay is a non issue. Being a gay minority will probably be more of an issue (if that bothers you). But like the SF posters said--just because Portland (or any city) is gay friendly doesn't mean you won't meet some bad apples or that homophobia doesn't exist.

Saw your video, staying for a free educational ride is smart. But at the same time being miserable isn't fun either. You would love SF, but if you go there, do it only after school is done and you have housing/work leads. Coming to Portland is easier if you have a job lined up as it's cheaper (still possible to find shared rentals at a reasonable cost). Gay community is much smaller here than SF, but no one will particularly care if you're gay either. But again, if you can stick it out to finish school you'll be better off where ever you go.

And while I wouldn't have suggested what a lot of the older gay guys who were previously in your situation on the SF board suggested--that you tone down the hair and the way you dress just to get thru until you finish school, that is a very valid suggestion. Free education is really worth a lot.

[Steve Pickering]

Why would you even ask unless you are trolling for your next hookup, or looking for recognition?

It's like me asking if Portland is straight enough. Why would I? When I lived by Lake Brownwood (Lesbian Capital of Texas) and Rising Star AKA Twinkle City http://risingstartx.co/ (Gay Male Capital of Texas) I never needed to ask for permission to do so, and I was the minority. I just did it.

[pdwpdx]

There are lots of gay people in Portland and being gay is pretty much a non-issue here.

However, the black population in Portland is very small, so that might feel a little strange. I suggest coming for a visit to feel it out, if you can.

Have you looked into New York or Houston? As we all know, New York is super expensive, and Houston is relatively cheap. Both have thriving, diverse gay communities.

Hope this helps!

[Steve Pickering]

Originally Posted by pdwpdx

There are lots of gay people in Portland and being gay is pretty much a non-issue here.

However, the black population in Portland is very small, so that might feel a little strange. I suggest coming for a visit to feel it out, if you can.

Have you looked into New York or Houston? As we all know, New York is super expensive, and Houston is relatively cheap. Both have thriving, diverse gay communities.

Hope this helps!

According to the census, there are more blacks than GLBT in Portland, so why would you tell him that.

[pdwpdx]

Even if there are more black people than LGBT folks, the black population is pretty small here, and the black gay population even smaller.

Oh, and I forgot Chicago--duh! In between NYC and Houston for COL, I believe.

[Steve Pickering]

Living on 16th and Alberta for some time, I never noticed a lack of black neighbors for five miles in any direction but north. I think you are a little too sensitive about the black numbers in Portland. It is not Cleveland Ohio, or Gary Indiana, both of which I have called home also. But there is a significant black presence in Portland.

[Minervah]

A couple of things to be aware of. I checked out a COL calculater and the difference in rents between Portland and KC MO was $829.32 with rents in KC stated as $773.24 and Portland $1179.32. This is based on a salary of $40,000 per year since I don't know what yours is so it's give or take a few dollars. The link is:

Cost of Living comparison calculator

You might want to check this and a few other COL calculators out because I believe the COL between the two cities are more different than you think.

As far as being gay in Portland, there are strong gay and LGBT communities here. But there is some prejudice as well. No place is going to be without it. Anyone who tells you that you will never run into it is not telling you the truth. I have been with gay friends and have seen it firsthand. It does not happen often but it happens. They just learn to shrug it off. On the whole, their lives are pretty peaceful.

[Steve Pickering]

The only thing about the Portland GLBT community that bothers me is the all too often attacks on GLBT.

[pdwpdx]

This post also might help.