My Portland Obituary (1994-2014) (West Linn, Milwaukie: sale, townhouse, landscaping)

[urbanlife78]

Interesting fact, the OP moved here when the third location of the Church of Elvis opened, and now is leaving a year after the fourth location has closed.

[Yankeemama]

Oh, I need to google the Church of Elvis. Never heard of it.

[urbanlife78]

Originally Posted by Yankeemama

Oh, I need to google the Church of Elvis. Never heard of it.

Yeah, it is one of those old Keep Portland Weird things, like Voodoo Donuts, but never reached the same tourist status as Voodoo.

[pdxMIKEpdx]

The Church of Elvis was around way before the "Keep Portland Weird" thing started, but it WAS one of those things that made Portland weird, I guess.



24 Hour Church of Elvis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[clshawcolo]

Thanks for enlightening us non-Oregonians. I read the Wikipedia explanation and I wish I had been able to visit the "church" before it closed a year ago. Btw, we have Voodoo Donuts in Denver and the shop is doing quite well.

[Church of Elvis]

Not so fast, my friends! I'm busy packing and chasing around a couple of rugrats right now, but I intend to share my thoughts/reflections of Portland with the forum. I just gotta get the kids to bed tonight and I'll be back. Someone pour me a bourbon eggnog!

Thanks for everyone for posting, you guys are hilarious...

[Nema98]

Nice Username.

[sorupaa]

that reminds me to go see church of sk8in

[Church of Elvis]

Tales of my demise have been greatly exaggerated! Shocker, I know...I'm Elvis, for crying out loud!

Here's the abridged version of my last twenty years in Oregon (seventeen in Portland, three in Corvallis).

I moved here from Wyoming when I was twenty to attend Oregon State University in Corvallis. Live was great, full of hiking, biking and partying. I graduated and subsequently moved to Portland for an entry level job. What an incredible place it was in the late nineties....

Ten years past and I finally met the girl of my dreams. We got married and shared a small apartment in SE. Life was grand. We both made a decent living and we believed Portland would be our life-long residence. We saved and saved for a home, and 'lo and behold my wife got pregnant. We saw our future (and our child's) right before us, and we bought a $450K fixer-upper in Eastmoreland with our intent of sending our child to Duniway Elementary, one of the most prestigious public schools in the city. No surprise, we never got to any of the house projects and we were treading water. Regularly, we were ladled with the following:

Over $3000K mortgage (our issue due to only putting a 20% down payment)
+ $839 per month property taxes

Water/sewer bills that reached $500 every three months.

+ the crayon tax + leaf pick up tax

And including the crumbling infrastructure (i.e. Roads, bridges, etc) with a poorly designed tax/fee to pay for it, when passed, we will likely be paying another $1000 a year) or there will be no additional street funding with just more crumbling roads. Either way, Portlanders are screwed and deserve better.

Its clear that Portland isn't a place we can grow anymore. We're treading water and with children, it's time to cut bait.

Having said all of that, I think Portland is a wonderful place to live if you are between the age of 18-30 with the world in your hands and no responsibilities. Sure, go ahead and rent a room, enjoy the splendors of the coast and mountain and enjot the incredible opportunities available. It's a great place to do so, that's for sure. But, if you are married and/or expecting children, I recommend looking elsewhere for a variety of reasons and I'll gladly share them if there are any inquiries. In the meantime, with a heavy heart, I'll be packing more boxes and getting ready to split town.

More later....

[skiffrace]

Originally Posted by Church of Elvis

...and we bought a $450K fixer-upper in Eastmoreland with our intent of sending our child to Duniway Elementary, one of the most prestigious public schools in the city. No surprise, we never got to any of the house projects and we were treading water. Regularly, we were ladled with the following:

Over $3000K mortgage (our issue due to only putting a 20% down payment)
+ $839 per month property taxes

Water/sewer bills that reached $500 every three months.

+ the crayon tax + leaf pick up tax

And including the crumbling infrastructure (i.e. Roads, bridges, etc) with a poorly designed tax/fee to pay for it, when passed, we will likely be paying another $1000 a year) or there will be no additional street funding with just more crumbling roads. Either way, Portlanders are screwed and deserve better.

Your description of why it does not make sense to live in Portland proper is correct, but why such a dramatic response as moving completely out of the area?!
If you paid $450K for that house a while back, it should be worth more now.
Why not sell it to one of those "we want to live in a 'walkabable neighborhood'" newcomer dopes, take the proceeds and escape to a nicer, newer, and $100K to $200K cheaper house in the suburbs.
Your taxes would we 1/2 or 1/3rd, cheaper utilities, better schools and safer neighborhoods.
You would be still enjoying the grandeur of PNW, without the expense and mismanagement of Portland, graffittis defacing the wall and bozos harassing you for money while you try to 'enjoy' your 'walkable neighborhood'.