"Seattle Freeze" In Portland? (Salem: fit in, transplants, home)

[FellowTraveler]

I have been thinking of moving to the Pacific Northwest from California. I used to live up there in a smaller town and I miss the wet, rainy drizzly weather and the more genuine people.

I never really got much of a chance to visit either Seattle or Portland when I was up there, but I would almost certainly move to one of these two cities. I might ask later for a general comparison of these cities or I might ask more specific questions. But for now I am reading about Seattle and discovering the "Seattle Freeze". For those who don't know what that is here is an article about it:

The Seattle Times: Pacific Northwest Magazine : Our Social Disease

This has me worried. I don't mind when people want to keep to themselves but obviously as a newcomer I want to be able to fit in and make friends. I don't want to feel isolated.

So my question is: Is Portland like this?

And more generally, what do Portlanders think of the social climate in the two cities? Do you feel that Seattle people are markedly different or basically the same? How do you feel about the people when you visit Seattle?

I hope this forum can educate me more about the subtle social differences between these two Northwest cities. They both seem to have their advantages but I am still deciding which one fits me better.

[ArkansasTraveler]

Originally Posted by FellowTraveler

Portland

I don't want to feel isolated.

So my question is: Is Portland like this?

Portland is the place for you - so many Calafonys there now you will feel right at home.

[meltinjohn]

After reading that article on Seattle, I didnt find Portland to that extent even.
I notice Portlanders keep to themselves but it also seems that when you get to know some ppl, your odds are still better than they are in Seattle at the end of the day. Portland = Boston without the up front rudeness and road rage.

[findingmesomeday]

Actually I do think the "Seattle Freeze" exists in Portland. I lived there for about 4 years and never found myself truly accepted (though I had friends) until I started dating a guy who was a native. In fact, I felt it more in Portland than in Seattle. It wouldn't stop me from moving there though. There are plenty of people to meet, things to do, etc.

[argo69]

We'll, I suppose there is a reason why this phenomenon is widely known as "The Seattle freeze" and not "The Portland freeze". The Northwest in general does have a reputation for being more reserved than say New York or California, but Seattle (and Vancouver BC) seem to have a reputation on this matter above and beyond other cities. Judging from my frequent visits to Portland (I live in Seattle) I would say that Portlanders are very friendly on average and not "frozen" at all.

[subsound]

I think it's pretty well established in Portland. Pretty much everyone I talk to is nice and polite, no problem there. I can't say I really know the people around me.

Even heading to lunches and functions I'm usually outside the conversation, or conversing with the other new people. I can get people talking about something they really like, but it's not usually something personal (like talking about golf, or the ducks).

[Krystle]

Personally, I've found that by reaching out to people, Portland isn't standoffish at all. You just have to find the people who are also looking for friends. In a smaller city, that can be difficult, especially if it's lacking in cultures that are traditionally hospitable. I've started reaching out for friends over the past few months, and I've had no problems finding cool people to hang out with, and some of them are down here in Salem. I used craigslist.com, meetup.com, and even facebook. The key is to find common interests, then find people who are also looking for people to pursue those common interests with. Once you do that, this part of the country doesn't feel cold at all. =)

[Leisesturm]

I stopped reading that article about 3/4 of the way through. IMO it is guilty of the very thing it blames that newspaper columnist of doing: putting out the impression that Seattle is a place to avoid to keep newcomers away. Likewise, I read of a Portland freeze in this very forum when I started researching Portland. I have not found this to be the case. I don't want or need to be invited home by total strangers I meet at random. I take a book on long airline flights and don't expect to be entertained by seatmates. It also cannot only be "natives" who are 'standoffish' since so much of the pouplation of both cities is made up of transplants. The law of averages makes it a certainty that at least some of those polite but distant folks were natives of hotbeds of social interaction like New York City (really?) or Chicago, IL. Maybe Seattle and/or Portland are 'cold' places, its not for me to say, but I can ask: why is that such a bad thing? Why does Seattle or PDX need to apologize for being polite? Do Bostonians apologize for their legendary rudeness? Do residents of Maine apologize for their legendary standoffishness? Do New Yorkers apologize for their legendary bluster? The defense rests.

H

[subsound]

While it's not bad, it's kind of nice to know if you're talking to your cubical neighbor and you ask what they are doing this weekend and they just stare at you till you walk away not to take it as personally. Office politics are always a pain, and it's better to know where you stand if you're used to something else.

Originally Posted by Leisesturm

Maybe Seattle and/or Portland are 'cold' places, its not for me to say, but I can ask: why is that such a bad thing? Why does Seattle or PDX need to apologize for being polite? Do Bostonians apologize for their legendary rudeness? Do residents of Maine apologize for their legendary standoffishness? Do New Yorkers apologize for their legendary bluster? The defense rests.

H

A bit defensive there? I doubt anyone is attacking you personally...

Every area is a bit different socially, even to the point of being only separated by a street.

[oldtintype]

Originally Posted by subsound

While it's not bad, it's kind of nice to know if you're talking to your cubical neighbor and you ask what they are doing this weekend and they just stare at you till you walk away not to take it as personally. Office politics are always a pain, and it's better to know where you stand if you're used to something else.

I've worked in all sorts of jobs in Portland and have never encountered this behavior.