Your opinion on a better dating scene: Seattle or Portland? (stats, bars)
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The girls here are a bit too far off the crazyometer for me. I'll probably have to start importing my girlfriends.
My 2 cents?
Portland Girls: Way too hippie, granola-munching types only interested in talking about the environment. Totally not me.
Seattle Girls: Better looking but with a bit of that Queen of the Undead thing going on.
pssst, the women are saying the same exact thing about you guys. Could it be that a certain minority of 'average' men and women are having a hard time recognizing their own... averageness? I say 'minority' because on the whole I see quite a bit of pairing up going on in PDX and environs. Some people don't let a little oat bran get between them and, uh, you know... that. If I were single in PDX I wouldn't be concerned. I certainly wouldn't consider moving to Seattle simply for dating climate reasons! Surely there are other priorities that take precedence??
H
If were to leave Portland in search of a better lifestyle (IMO of course), Seattle wouldn't even be on my radar, but that's outside the scope of the discussion isn't it?
I agree with the last poster. Dating should NEVER be a reason to move somewhere.
Why not?
If you've read any of those "Find Your Best Place to Live" type of books, they have questionairres where you rate different "quality of life" parameters, which is used to determine which cities/areas would be most appropriate for you.
For some people, agreeable weather is a top priority.
For others, job availablity is at the top of their list.
Why can't some people rate dating or availablity of partners highly, if that's what's important to them?
Have you ever seen "availability of partners" as a criteria on one of those questionnaire's? I mean with the exception of a few well known anomalous states like Alaska most states are well supplied with equal numbers of both men and women. Hundreds of thousands if not millions of men and women are able to find partners from those available locally and there is the Internet for those whose tastes run to the exotic. Most do not consider it neccessary to prioritize dating activity when planning a relocation because it is truly a non-issue. I don't think I would lose my lunch money if I were to bet you on the likelihood that people who find women in state A to be this, that and the other thing and therefore undateable would find the women in state B, or C , or D (or E for that matter) to be anymore dateable. Some people really lost out once parents were removed from the hooking-up equation.
IMO
the Portland dating scene is great. yes there are a lot of liberal, hippie types, but there's also a lot of transplants here starting over that aren't at all earthy. especially women that moved here from the east coast. they seem pretty normal and down to earth unlike some of these earthy chicks. (we've always called those type of women loadies) and those east coast women have been much better looking than any earthy chick around here. that's not the most important thing, but it is in the top 5.
but if they are born and raised here and have a marriage behind them and they're in their 20's then stay away, and especially if they're from a smaller town outside of Portland (like Camas, Washougal, or Longview) they seem to have a crazy gene inbred in them that will always be there, and full of drama with who knows how many ex' or just one crazy one.
I can't speak for Seattle though.
Last edited by Barleysoda; 01-26-2009 at 03:12 AM..
Don't take my word for any of this - you can check it out for yourself. Before moving to Portland come for a visit and check out places where singles might be out and about. I've lived in Portland most of my life and have been to Seattle quite often and you'll notice something about the Portland single scene. There's way way more guys than gals out prowling the nightlife. I would say the ratio is at least 10 (guys) to 1 (girls). Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself - No, don't count the women you see with guys already or those ladies you see who go out at 7:00 and go home around 10:00 (those aren't single women, they're married or committed women having girls nights out), subtract them and pickings are mighty slim. Basically a lot of horny dudes sitting around staring each other and getting drunk. Most of them end up in strip joints because it's better than sitting around in a singles bar staring at a bunch of hairy assed dudes. Fun Fact: Portland has more strip joints per capita than any other major city. Gee, I wonder why. The best singles cities (for men) are in sunny warm weather cities, they attract more young women, and it's young women that make a single scene happening. The population in Portland has increased dramatically the last 20 years, unfortunately for single men it attracts a disproportionately greater number of young single guys, young women (especially hot looking ones), tend to be a lot less interested in moving to Portland. They also tend to move to more glamorous places when they get old enough. The combination makes Portlnd a lousy single scene for men. A lot of people, especially women, will try to claim this isn't true but they're full of it. Spend a couple of weeks hanging around the Portland nightscene and you'll know the truth. Oh yeah, Seattle is not great shakes either, at least compared to socal or Phoenix, but it's a lot better than Portland, M to F ratio runs about 3 or maybe 4 (men) to 1 (woman), not what I would call good but manageable, I've hung out in Seattle many times and manage to hook up fairly regularly, Portland it's much less frequent.
I don't mean this in a judgemental way, but if you've consistently been having trouble on the dating scene for that many years, it may have less to do with the city you live in, and more to do with yourself and the types of women you're choosing to date. I speak from experience. I spent my 20s and 30s being attracted to a certain type (most of us have a "type") and having no success forming a lasting relationship. I, too, kept meeting women who claimed they were looking for one thing but who subsequently turned out to have different agendas. I also met several who said I was "perfect on paper," but who "didn't feel any chemistry" and preferred to be "just friends." My own long-time single male friends were in the same boat, and we spent many an evening trying to figure out what, exactly, women wanted.
To make a very long story short, one of my bachelor friends started dating a former coworker who was interested in him, but who wasn't his type. They dated for a couple years, much of that time half-heartedly on his part, but eventually his feelings for her changed. He did a lot of soul searching, and finally decided to marry her. It was his first marriage, and he was 37. Now it's 13 years later, and they're very happy together. A couple years after he got married, he gave me a piece of advice that, at the time, made no sense to me: "Try dating women who aren't your type." How could I be attracted to someone who wasn't my type? But I eventually reached such a state of despair about ever finding a soulmate that I decided to take his advice. I dated several women who seemed nice but who lacked various criteria on my checklist (artsy Bohemian intellectual, within five years of my own age, not formally religious, no kids, etc.) ... and we didn't click. Finally, I met someone who didn't meet any of those criteria I just listed -- but we hit it off immediately. Now it's 9 years later, and we've been happily married for the last 7.
I'm not going to pretend that it's all mystical and inexplicable, although love does contain an element of mystery, as well as luck. I did a lot of self-analysis, trying to figure out why I'd been so unlucky in love, and why "my type" had been my type in the first place. I did indeed figure it out, along with why I was incompatible with my supposed type (we all engage in unconscious, self-destructive behaviors to varying degrees). I also was forced to admit that I had some personality and behavioral traits that I'd been unaware of, but that, once my now-wife pointed them out, I wasn't proud of. Through a lot of time and effort, I was able to minimize them. She had some comparable flaws (who doesn't?) that she worked on, too. That's been a key component in the success of our relationship: the wllingness to communicate and compromise.
If I'd responded to this post 10 years ago, I would have agreed that single Portland women were ditzy, self-centered, granola-eating flakes who were afraid of commitment and who said one thing but did another. Now I see that I was only dating a certain segment of Portland women -- and that I was choosing women who were very much like I was. I was subconsciously setting myself up for dating failure.
That said, even if you've pretty much figured yourself out, I think that dating does become more difficult as people get older. People become set in their ways and are less willing to compromise. Their lives become busier. Most emotionally healthy people who want to be in a relationship already are. I remember an infamous article in Time magazine during the 1980s that said something to the effect that a woman who had never married by age 30 was statistically more likely to die in a plane crash than to get married. The author blamed this on men, saying that the vast majority, no matter what their age, only wanted to marry women who were under 30. Even then, it occurred to me that perhaps people of either sex who have never been married by 30, but who claim that they have always wanted to get married, have unconscious reasons for remaining single (e.g., fear of commitment) and therefore unconsciously sabotage themselves.
I've sort of strayed off topic, but I had the same dating problems when I lived in Atlanta, Seattle, and Portland. Obviously, I've made some assumptions that might not be valid (e.g., that the OP is looking for a serious long-term relationship rather than casual dating). I also want to add that there's nothing wrong with being single. It's all about finding whatever it is you're looking for in a relationship (or not being in one, if you don't want to be in one), and first understanding yourself well enough to know what you actually want.
I'd also add that it's a good idea to look for dates in a variety of places. Shy guy that I was, I was relying almost exclusively on Internet dating sites. They're great (it's how I met my wife), but if I had to do it again, I'd also spend time with charitable organizations, hobby groups, and other places where you meet the same people on a regular basis over time.
Not that there aren't *any* quality women around, but make no mistake they're in short-short supply around here unless you've got a thing for granola gals, hobo-chic hipsters or hard-luck cases. A "6" in L.A. would be about a "12" in Portland. Almost any other major city would be a better choice for that if you're a single guy. Even Seattle.
Thank you Brandon for your excellent and accurate posting.May it serve not just as a warning but as public service announcement.If you go to Portland(and Oregon for that matter) bring your own women with you from elsewhere,...seriously!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by desmon7
Don't take my word for any of this - you can check it out for yourself. Before moving to Portland come for a visit and check out places where singles might be out and about. I've lived in Portland most of my life and have been to Seattle quite often and you'll notice something about the Portland single scene. There's way way more guys than gals out prowling the nightlife. I would say the ratio is at least 10 (guys) to 1 (girls). Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself - No, don't count the women you see with guys already or those ladies you see who go out at 7:00 and go home around 10:00 (those aren't single women, they're married or committed women having girls nights out), subtract them and pickings are mighty slim. Basically a lot of horny dudes sitting around staring each other and getting drunk. Most of them end up in strip joints because it's better than sitting around in a singles bar staring at a bunch of hairy assed dudes. Fun Fact: Portland has more strip joints per capita than any other major city. The population in Portland has increased dramatically the last 20 years, unfortunately for single men it attracts a disproportionately greater number of young single guys.Spend a couple of weeks hanging around the Portland nightscene and you'll know the truth. Oh yeah, Seattle is not great shakes either, at least compared to socal or Phoenix, .
LOL DEMON,
but also totally accurate,Portland as the same M to F ratio problem as Denver EXCEPT in Denver(& Colorado in general)women are just gorgeous.They are a very distinctive "all American" beauty type and are also superbly shapely.
However Denver is crawling with dudes just like Portland because they are 2 very attractive cities with a great life styles,witch makes both of them highly desirable and relatively affordable cities.
I guest the only reason that comes to mind to explain this unfortunate M-F ratio aspect is maybe that the overall majority of women tend not to relocate as singles like man do.?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HonuMan
To make a very long story short, one of my bachelor friends started dating a former coworker who was interested in him, but who wasn't his type. They dated for a couple years, much of that time half-heartedly on his part, but eventually his feelings for her changed. He did a lot of soul searching, and finally decided to marry her. A couple years after he got married, he gave me a piece of advice that, at the time, made no sense to me: "Try dating women who aren't your type." How could I be attracted to someone who wasn't my type? But I eventually reached such a state of despair about ever finding a soulmate that I decided to take his advice.
HonuMan
i am glad that things worked out for you but that is a dangerous game,you change because of what you referred to as "such a state of despair"...remember?
According to your assessment your situation seems to have worked out for you and more power to you.
However most people would be deluding themselves trying to do as you did.
Have great wk:1 NFL Sunday.
I guest the only reason that comes to mind to explain this unfortunate M-F ratio aspect is maybe that the overall majority of women tend not to relocate as singles like man do.?
This is a generalization I agree with and it has turned out to be true without exception in my family. Son's often move away from parents to live in another state while daughters tend to stick near to "home". This has turned out to be the case with everyone in my family from my parents, to cousins to siblings. Dad, brother, male cousins, myself all moved out of state (CA)...stepmom, stepsister, female cousins ALL live not only in the same state as parents but literally within miles of them!
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