Torn about staying here -- any advice? (Portland, Estacada: fit in, job market)

[davefr]

I say stop whinning and stay put as long as you have a decent job. Once the business cycle shows signs of recovery then go find a better area for you.

Not everyone can take the gloom of the PNW but in today's economy food on the table trumps the gloom IMHO.

[EnricoV]

1. You've identified a problem. Why not try applying some of the solutions to that problem, rather than running and hiding from it.

2 & 3. I'm going to address these two together. My first suggestion ... find some new friends. I find, as an adult, friends are based more on common interests than being the same age. And learn not to run at the first sight of a mud-puddle.

As far as socializing, try some of my old stand-by suggestions:

Meet In Portland group has all kinds of activities planned by its members. Meet Up has all kinds of groups with planned meetings or events

Check the Portland Community College Non-Credit classes or Portland Parks & Recreation offerings for events. Tag along with other GeoCachers for an outdoors adventure.

Look at alternate transportation opportunities. There are services that will get you to the coast, to the ski resorts, etc. They're not always quick, but they'll get you there. Tillamook/Cannon Beach has a bus leaving from Union Station. Astoria has one.

If biking is your thing, join in one of the many bike clubs, and take part in their events.

Beginning and ending times to events might prevent you from waffling, and giving up.

4. I wouldn't let my roommate's inability to find a job influence your decision, considering you seem to be doing well in the job department in these times that are tough economically, everywhere.

Bottom line. You don't live in a small Arizona town anymore. The terrain, the weather, and the size of the community is different. You'll either need to adjust your thinking about it (I won't call it your attitude, because that sounds harsh ... but it's kind of what I mean), and accept that it's different and adapt and embrace the differences. Or, move on to another less-than-perfect place. Nowhere is near as perfect as our memory makes it seem like places from our past were.

[roneb]

Wow, someone write an articuluate and thoughtful summary of their current feelings and struggles with living in PDX and he's told to "stop whining" and that he's "running and hiding". For some, the winter weather in PDX is not that easily dealt with. Light boxes and vitamin supplements are not a cure-all. To some of us, the very fact that you have to sit with a light box is a reminder of the fact that the weather here sucks in the winter! If someone thinks that based on their EXPERIENCE in both climates, they deal better with more sun, that's not running and hiding, that's being honest with oneself.

By the way, for many, Flagstaff would not be considered a "small town." That line smacked of a condescending "You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy" attitude.

[EnricoV]

Originally Posted by roneb

Wow, someone write an articuluate and thoughtful summary of their current feelings and struggles with living in PDX and he's told to "stop whining" and that he's "running and hiding". For some, the winter weather in PDX is not that easily dealt with. Light boxes and vitamin supplements are not a cure-all. To some of us, the very fact that you have to sit with a light box is a reminder of the fact that the weather here sucks in the winter! If someone thinks that based on their EXPERIENCE in both climates, they deal better with more sun, that's not running and hiding, that's being honest with oneself.

By the way, for many, Flagstaff would not be considered a "small town." That line smacked of a condescending "You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy" attitude.

When one says that in their former home they could walk out the door and be lost in a pine forest ... that's not a big city. (The city's webpage puts their population at 52,000, by the way.) To go from that situation to living in the middle of the Portland is a big change. It's not condescending, it's a simple statement of fact. And yes, if you came from Frenchglen, Oregon ... Flagstaff would be huge.

And I'm sorry, but if someone says they get hives from eating strawberries, but just love them, to tell them to face the facts and stop eating them isn't being condescending. If the OP is affected by SAD, treating the condition would be the first reasonable step, rather than the first thought being uprooting themselves from a good paying job and moving, considering the current economic conditions.

And now since you've got me riled up, I went to look at sunrise/sunset times. Which I found interesting. So I'll throw those into the mix. Today in Flagstaff, the sun rose at 7:17 (and it's cloudy and expecting snowing) and sets at 6:05. In Portland it rose at 7:18 (and it's sunny and dry) and sets at 5:33. 30 minutes difference. 30 minutes. Back in December (when the days are shortest), the gap was a bit wider at about an hour's difference. And come July, Portland has an hour more daylight than Flagstaff (where sunset's at 7:45 to Portland's 9:00). Unless one worked really long hours, I don't see how the length of time going and coming from work in the dark could be more than, say, a month. If that.

[Venusian_Artist]

Yep, that's the problem with this forum: the Portland apologists go after anyone that doesn't properly genuflect at the mere utterance of the Rose City.

My advice: leave. It's not running, it's not whining, it's recognizing that you're not screwed up enough to play ball with some of the morons that live here.

As for sun, if you were born and raised in a sunny locale, you will most likely never get used to the lack of sunlight here. You're biologically predisposed to crave it. And as roneb pointed out, minus the snow days, this has really been a very sunny winter. I haven't seen it this sunny in six years.

So do yourself a favor and exit stage right, for greener pastures. Not that we couldn't use more people like you here in PDX to offset the idiocy, but that's an uphill battle not worth fighting.

[EnricoV]

Originally Posted by Venusian_Artist

So do yourself a favor and exit stage right, for greener pastures. Not that we couldn't use more people like you here in PDX to offset the idiocy, but that's an uphill battle not worth fighting.

Wouldn't that be browner pastures?

[Wicked Felina]

Originally Posted by davefr

I say stop whinning and stay put as long as you have a decent job. Once the business cycle shows signs of recovery then go find a better area for you.

Not everyone can take the gloom of the PNW but in today's economy food on the table trumps the gloom IMHO.

What's wrong with this? It's not mean spirited and it's a perfectly direct answer. Maybe not of the gentler and kinder variety, but personally I'd rather have directness over coddling.

sundaysmiles, if you have the wherewithall (aka money/job) to leave, do so. Our winter weather is not going to get any sunnier; this winter was/is especially sunny.

You owe it to yourself to be absolutely sure it's the weather that's bringing you down. If you've done all that EnricoV suggests, and you are still sure the weather is the root cause of your depression, then you've answered your own questions. We will have an absolutely gorgeous summer and fall. That's a time when our memories of winter past tend to soften a bit.

There is not a thing anyone's said on this thread that I disagree with. I, too, sincerely wish you the best in making your decision.

[FunkyMonk]

You didn't say anything about where you are gonna go from Portland. Another state? Back home? Another country? It all depends on what you are going towards.

I am in the same position as you, but I am not in Portland, i'm in another city.

I am not really feeling it here and I don't like it. There are things I dislike about it here that everyone else just thinks are cool and normal. So i'm getting out of here next week

So leave if you want to. You sound like maybe you are in a mindset where you should just travel and see lots of places. Lots of people will live in 10 or 20 different places before they settle. Go for it. People weren't meant to stay in the same place their entire life. We are humans, not trees, we have no roots.

If you are really in the right place for you, you probably wouldn't be thinking about leaving.

[Blacknblue]

To the OP from an English major: You have a gift for writing. Your post is one of the most articulate posts that I've ever read. You know on many different levels what the issues are. I think you should follow your heart-- that's what being young is all about. I moved a lot in my twenties but with this condition: I usually had a job waiting for me, savings to draw on, or both.

I work nights, but I prefer it because it's more like a small town. Okay, you've identified with accuracy what the issues are and had your observations validated. Now, research your viable options and take action. Beware of romanticizing the past. It's fun as hell but remember, really remember what it was like and why you left in the first place.

Don't be too surprised if you find that you may have left for some of the same reasons that you're thinking of leaving now! I did. Let me put it this way: There wasn't anyone who said: "Don't go." I'm probably wrong and talking nonsense but it might just be that you're homesick. Take a week or two off and revisit to check your perceptions before you make any drastic changes. Couldn't hurt.

[Minervah]

Originally Posted by davefr

I say stop whinning and stay put as long as you have a decent job. Once the business cycle shows signs of recovery then go find a better area for you.

Not everyone can take the gloom of the PNW but in today's economy food on the table trumps the gloom IMHO.

Well, I for one didn't think he was whinning; just contemplating.