Torn about staying here -- any advice? (Portland: lease, home)

[sundaysmile]

I'm approaching my one-year-in-Portland anniversary, having moved here in March of last year from Arizona (Flagstaff). I'd just finished college and had a bit of wanderlust, so I came here on a whim, having heard so many great things about the city.

I am totally impressed with the livability here and the ability to get around without a car (I'm 21 and don't have a driver's license ), as well as the ease of maintaining a health-conscious lifestyle. I live in the NW 23rd/Pearl District area, and I am completely in love with this part of town... it's wonderful, the architecture and the restaurants and the layout of the neighborhood, the view of Nob Hill -- so awesome! I think the city in general is simply beautiful, feels so safe, and has so many neat little places. I have greatly enjoyed exploring the city on foot. In addition, the summer was simply divine, with the sun setting so late, the warmth, the sun...

However, my lease will be up in March, and there are some things that have me seriously considering leaving.

1) For the first time since my early teens (when I lived in Seattle), I found myself extremely depressed this winter. I thought something was very wrong with me -- I was just miserable and crying for no reason, feeling lethargic and sad, not having any motivation. It wasn't until I took a week-long vacation back to AZ in December, and while there felt happy and 'normal' again, that I realized it was probably weather-related. My father suffered from SAD when he lived in Seattle, and after doing some research, I think I get it as well -- I am quite sensitive to the weather and exposure to sunlight or lack thereof. It is rather depressing to leave for work in the dark and come home in the dark (especially on those days the sun was setting at like 4 pm!) -- it's disorienting on a biological level, I think.

2) It's certainly true that the area is surrounded by natural beauty, coastline and mountains within 1.5 hours of driving, etc. However, these areas are very hard to access if you don't have a car or friends who want to drive you there (see point 3) -- and maybe I just need to get used to it, but any outings I go on seem to end up with me or my companion(s) wanting to turn back early because it is drizzling, muddy, windy (beaches), or unpleasantly cold out. When I lived in Arizona, I was in a small mountain town in the middle of a giant pine forest, where I could literally roll my bike out of the driveway and be in miles of miles of dry, scenic, remote trails within minutes -- I think this spoiled me!

3) The people my age are... well, many seem to be clones of each other. I apologize for this huge generalization, but so many of the 20-somethings have the same haircut, same shoes, and same "hobo chic" clothing style... and also have a hipster, indier-than-thou, starving-artist-working-as-a-barista-attitude: very little motivation or ambition, laid back to a fault, contentment with sitting around listening to records and smoking pot all day (I actually got called closed-minded by someone when I told them I was not "420 friendly"). In general, I find the directionless existence of people my age to be really depressing and unfortunate. I don't know why, or if this is even unique to Portland, but the 20-somethings here just seem to flock together and stagnate. As a result, I find myself trying to befriend a different age demographic (mid 30s or so), though on the whole, I find socializing here to be VERY difficult and it seems not many people are interested in making new friends.

4) The economy and job market. I am fortunate to have a relatively stable, decent paying job, but I think it was sheer luck. It took my roommate 3 months to find a job when he moved here, and after 2 months, they laid him off (as well as everyone else in his department) even though he was one of their most profitable employees. This concerns me, as I would like to break into a different field than the one I'm currently in, but there is such fierce competition for jobs that I wonder if I could ever do that.

Those are the main things that are in my mind right now. I know once summer comes, I'll be feeling back to my old self and will revel in the long, delicious summer days... but in the mean time, I am not dealing well with the dreariness. And I don't think much is going to change about the other three points.

So I'm at a crossroads. To stay or to leave? Can anyone relate to my observations/experiences, or does anyone have suggestions on a place that is similar to Portland but has more tolerable weather?

Thanks in advance I hope this didn't sound bitter or offensive to anyone, because I do think the city is a gem -- all places have their pros and cons however.

[subsound]

Firstly, in the short term get a light simulator...they word wonders for the cloudy days and Seasonal Affective. They are a bit expensive, about $150, but if you are from a sunnier climate they can do wonders for mood, motivation, and vitamin D production. I think some people are wired for sun or not, like my wife gets cranky with short sunless days...and I am the same about manically constant sun.

I don't suggest moving right now, just from all the economic craziness, unless you have a position lined up...but for the longer term I think it is a good idea. The economy is pretty bad everywhere, if you have a good job it's best to hunker down and save like mad for a move.

I have noticed the same things you have in your points, even though I'm 30 many people still are into the slacker lifestyle around my age (or drunks). Such as the guy below me practices night and day for his rock band and still survives on stipends from his parents...or the person next door has a 15 year old kid and goes around town on his skateboard, baggy pants, and everyone is dude...or a number of people I work with spend their causal time in bars drinking themselves stupid every night in bars. Most people I've found are very casually friendly, even people I see every day for the last 6 months and talk with, but it's rare to find anyone to go have lunch or go have a drink with outside of work.

The only place I have found that's similar to Portland in most fashions is Boulder, Colorado. Much more similar to AZ in weather (~300 sunny days a year, dry, snows a good bit in spring)...but people there are in love with pot smoking and the hobo style. There are a good amount of people of all sorts with CU Boulder, many around your age. It's also ungodly expensive to live there, though a bit better in the surrounding sprawl.

[John Shaft]

Good post and sorry to hear you are having trouble dealing with the winter. As you suspect, it's pretty common.

I am a transplant to this area and share many of your observations, particularly about the 20-somethings population (although of course I'll admit it's a huge over-generalization, but there is still a lot of truth to it). My thoughts on the Portland area are that the positives are very positive and the negatives are very negative. This is a big contrast from where I grew up, where the positives and negatives were not so extreme.

Don't feel guilty if you find that this place isn't for you, despite having some things you really like. Sometimes what you think are priorities to an enjoyable lifestyle aren't your true deep down priorities (in other words, what we want/think we need isn't exactly what we really do need).

Good luck in deciding.

[roneb]

sundaysmile, I'd say you have a very accurate perception of PDX. If you find the seasons/weather getting to you, keep in mind that despite all the snow (which I really enjoyed), this winter has probably been SUNNIER than most! I'd say Flagstaff is a great location. Sorry Portland isn't turning out to be what you'd hoped, but again, I think you observations are accurate ones.

[Neal2009]

Follow your gut feeling, it is right 99% of the time. In the end, you will get alot of suggestions from people here such as buy a SAD light or stay because of the economic crisis. That is all good advice, but you have to go inside yourself and see what your feeling tells you. Sometimes your feeling may tell you something that isn't exactly logical, which indeed could be going back to Arizona during these tough economic times. You may find yourself questioning your decision, but will find out it all works out in the end.So pay attention over the next few weeks what your feeling tells you and do not get all too influenced by other peoples decisions and take advice with a grain of salt. Notice how I didn't say, what the mind tells you. The mind only follows logic, the feeling not.

[cdelena]

You are not tied down so maybe this is an opportunity to see a different environment. Try a year in NYC, and one in SF. The outlook on the world is different in different places. You are too young to get comfortable in one rut for now.

[Jimrob1]

You sound like a very intelligent and observant young person. From what you have written I would say your instincts are talking to you. You may like Portland but your instincts are forcing you to notice traits that are both annoying to you and could hinder you. You are to young to find yourself in a rut. You can't change the weather here and you can't change the personality traits of the area either. I would plan accordingly to make a change when you can financially manage to do so, as having a job is very important now. Perhaps you could begin a search for a new job elsewhere so you would have one when you moved away from Portland. I would not just pack up and leave the area if you have employment here but none in a new area. I would only do that if you had a place to stay and was able to support yourself while you looked for a new job in the new area. Just plan it out but I do feel you are someone that is needing a change. I also feel you are someone that will make it all work out. There is nothing wrong with needing a change and it is very enjoyable to hear of someone that is living in reality. Best of Luck to you.

[PNW-type-gal]

I'm not sure one winter is long enough to test the theory. Working in high tech, we had a lot of people transferring in from elsewhere. Most of them eventually decided the positives of the area outweighed the negatives, but, uniformly, the people who ended up moving were the ones who tried it for a winter or two and couldn't cope with the weather - more than any other consideration.

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Follow your heart and never have regrets. There are other beautiful parts of the coutry.'

[Minervah]

SADD lights can work great. Why not give them a try? I am in the same boat as you as far as not driving and wanting to get to far away places from where you live. Have you checked out bus (greyhound etc) and train service? They do run to the coast and other places you may want to go. I have used all of these with great success.

You are very articulate and have a good sense of surroundings but you are also very young and may just have the need to satisfy the wandering itch. You don't have to put roots anywhere just yet and anyplace you leave will always still be there should you want to return.

I think you should explore other areas, but as some have pointed out, maybe wait until the economy gets a bit better so a job won't be a problem elsewhere.

Good luck in whatever you decide.