Why do I hate Portland (Tigard, Lake Oswego: fit in, unemployed, neighborhoods)

[backdrifter]

Originally Posted by argo69

This is one of those touchy subjects but I will put in my two cents. I moved to the Pacific Northwest a decade ago and find most native northwesterners polite and friendly both as work associates and friends. As far as extroversion goes, I would give the edge to Oregonians, but that's relative to Seattle. If one moves to the Pacific Northwest and accepts that it is highly unlikely that your friendship will extend past a certain point with natives, that most have a small circle of close friends they have grown up with and known for 20-30 years then you will be ok. If you accept that it is very unlikey that you will penetrate this inner circle and be invited home to spend any holiday time with their family, etc. you should not be rudely surprised.

I have a small circle of wonderful Seattle friends I have made during my time here...ALL transplants, some very recent and some here since the 70's. I think the key is that they have all been through the experience of uprooting themselves, moving to a new city and having to rebuild their friendship network. People who live in one place their entire lives simply don't feel the need to bring more into the inner circle or actively open the existing group to newbies because they've never had a need to. That's my take anyway, and based on very consisent personal experiences with natives. Natives who are wonderful people, but people who I don't expect more from than they are willing to give. If you do happen to truly become close friends with a native and are invited into their intimate circle, count yourself one of the lucky ones.

This is a really great post--very well articulated. Thank you for sharing this. I think you really hit the nail on the head with a lot of your points and said it like it is.

[Raelyn28]

I agree with argo69. There is another issue with natives. They have never been anywhere else so sometimes this can become a problem. Life becomes narrow when you only live in one place... If you are never exposed or stretched by other places, cultures, or people you really don't grow much in a certain sense. Not trying to be rude to natives or anything because I think it is great to be stable. Something that I have never had...

Actually I found OC (California) to be one of the friendliest places because there was such a diversity of race and culture there. You have to be more open minded in order to get along with one another. I didn't like OC enough to stay there for just that reason because of so many negative things about it.

Bottom line... where ever you go there are always the negatives and the positives. So pick out the positives and get involved with something... What ever it is. I am sure everyone can find friends if they become a friend first...

Originally Posted by argo69

This is one of those touchy subjects but I will put in my two cents. I moved to the Pacific Northwest a decade ago and find most native northwesterners polite and friendly both as work associates and friends. As far as extroversion goes, I would give the edge to Oregonians, but that's relative to Seattle. If one moves to the Pacific Northwest and accepts that it is highly unlikely that your friendship will extend past a certain point with natives, that most have a small circle of close friends they have grown up with and known for 20-30 years then you will be ok. If you accept that it is very unlikey that you will penetrate this inner circle and be invited home to spend any holiday time with their family, etc. you should not be rudely surprised.

I have a small circle of wonderful Seattle friends I have made during my time here...ALL transplants, some very recent and some here since the 70's. I think the key is that they have all been through the experience of uprooting themselves, moving to a new city and having to rebuild their friendship network. People who live in one place their entire lives simply don't feel the need to bring more into the inner circle or actively open the existing group to newbies because they've never had a need to. That's my take anyway, and based on very consisent personal experiences with natives. Natives who are wonderful people, but people who I don't expect more from than they are willing to give. If you do happen to truly become close friends with a native and are invited into their intimate circle, count yourself one of the lucky ones.

[jimd144]

Originally Posted by jgee

I don't like the people here. I can't even really explain it, but I've yet to meet someone I could actually see myself hanging out with more than once.

The city dies down so quickly. Delivery is impossible. Lunch options are limited.

There is so much, but it also pretty vague. But whenever I go out, I just feel an urge to run away from everything in this town.

I recommend leaving.

One big problem with leaving is this. No matter where you move, you will be there. Fix the "you" problem, and you can live anywhere and be happy!

[Foreverking]

If theres anybody who can be unhappy with portland oregon, especially this time a year, delivery or not, I would have to say that there is more issures going on that the right city isnt going to be able to do anything about.

[Minervah]

It took me many, many years to become friends with native Oregonians. For a long time all the ones I met could hear about me was that I had come from somewhere else. Gradually, the longer I remained here the more accepted I seemed to become. Now I have more native Oregonian friends because my friends from elsewhere all have returned from whence they came or moved on to better cities where they could find jobs, or better weather or schools or whatever reasons they chose to move on.

But here is something interesting about one of my native friends that typifies what I perceive as a native Oregonian. One of my NO friends and I are good friends. We visit and chat and go out to eat and do what friends do. I have introduced her to my other friends and we all socialize at times.

She on the other hand, often talks about the circle of friends she has had since grammar school. They go everywhere and do everything as a group. She talks about them all the time. Once or twice I mentioned I would like to meet them and she looked at me in dismay changing the subject very quickly each time.

I think she does what many NO's do; keep their "old" friends from childhood and "new" ones from someplace else separate. I don't understand this mentality but I have heard other non-NO's talk about experiencing the same situation.

[sayulita]

I so do not get this "Native Oregonian" thing. I have been here for 34 years, having moved here when I was 25. I have many friends and I honestly could not tell you which are native and which are not. We became friends for a variety of reasons but none of them based on where we came from. Sense of humor, hobbies in common, co-workers - whatever drew us to each other. Never did I feel excluded because I wasn't born here. Who makes friends that way? And regarding childhood friends versus adult friends - I think many of us have groups of friends that stick together for whatever reason and it just doesn't feel right to open it up to someone who doesn't share that particular history. I have several circles of friends that don't interconnect and those friends also have several circles. It's a given and nobody questions it. When those circles don't matter when it comes to bringing friends together, it's also a given that introductions will be made and new friendships formed.
I grew up moving around a lot, including to foreign countries. I just returned from 7 month in Mexico. And I've learned this indelible lesson - where ever you go - there you are! Life - and friends - are what you make them. To generalize about a whole population is always dangerous. To dismiss an entire city by painting everyone with the same brush is so self defeating. Everyone can usually find something to love AND to hate about a place, whether it's Portland, Paris, Prague or Pocatello. Bloom where you're planted. Or keep moving until the stars align and you find the perfect place for you.

[Deezus]

Originally Posted by Raelyn28

I agree with argo69. There is another issue with natives. They have never been anywhere else so sometimes this can become a problem. Life becomes narrow when you only live in one place... If you are never exposed or stretched by other places, cultures, or people you really don't grow much in a certain sense. Not trying to be rude to natives or anything because I think it is great to be stable. Something that I have never had......

Saying that Portland natives have never been anywhere outside of Portland is kind of insulting and not true. I'm originally from California but went to college in Oregon and have many friends that grew up in Portland. Many of the Portland natives left home to attend some of the best colleges throughout the country, travelled throughout the world, or lived in other cities before returning to Portland. And many of these Portlanders have become some of my closest friends-they've shown me far more hospitality than many of the people I grew up with.

I'll agree that there there are friends I went to college with that upon moving back to the Portland area have fallen back into only hanging with the same people they went to high school with. This is more of a suburban Portland thing...you see this more of people on the westside(Beaverton, Hillsboro, etc) then of people who live close to downtown.

People living their lives in the same town they were born in can become somewhat narrowminded but this in no way is limited to the Pacific NW. I saw more of this growing up in Santa Cruz, California where even people from neighboring towns and counties are frowned upon(and even different sides of town hate each other).

And honestly I've found Oregon natives to be friendlier than many of the hipper-than-thou transplants who moved here from New York only to be dismayed to discover that Portland is in fact a small provincial city. Exactly--it's not New York, that's why I live here. And seriously if you don't have to live in Portland, don't move here--the job market is the worst in the country, we have unemployment levels right now close to those of Detroit. And our weather sucks and you can't get good pizza like in New York--but don't people know this before they move here?

The fact is I can be either snowboarding on a glacier or surfing on a beach or kayaking a river within about an hour from my house--and I can walk to about a dozen great restaurants from my house --that's the reason to live here. But don't expect locals to greet you with open arms when you show up complaining about what you don't like about Portland, because that's not the way it really works anywhere...If I were to move from the West Coast to New York, I'd get a similar reaction from someone who grew up in Brooklyn.

And acting like native Oregonians are just a bunch of rednecks(which isn't true, but could be said about the entire rural population of the western US including California) isn't going to win you any friends as well.

[DreamWeavin]

wow--awesome post!! I've said all along that one's attitude directly affects every aspect of their life.

Originally Posted by sayulita

I so do not get this "Native Oregonian" thing. I have been here for 34 years, having moved here when I was 25. I have many friends and I honestly could not tell you which are native and which are not. We became friends for a variety of reasons but none of them based on where we came from. Sense of humor, hobbies in common, co-workers - whatever drew us to each other. Never did I feel excluded because I wasn't born here. Who makes friends that way? And regarding childhood friends versus adult friends - I think many of us have groups of friends that stick together for whatever reason and it just doesn't feel right to open it up to someone who doesn't share that particular history. I have several circles of friends that don't interconnect and those friends also have several circles. It's a given and nobody questions it. When those circles don't matter when it comes to bringing friends together, it's also a given that introductions will be made and new friendships formed.
I grew up moving around a lot, including to foreign countries. I just returned from 7 month in Mexico. And I've learned this indelible lesson - where ever you go - there you are! Life - and friends - are what you make them. To generalize about a whole population is always dangerous. To dismiss an entire city by painting everyone with the same brush is so self defeating. Everyone can usually find something to love AND to hate about a place, whether it's Portland, Paris, Prague or Pocatello. Bloom where you're planted. Or keep moving until the stars align and you find the perfect place for you.

[tindo80]

I never lived in pdx, but in my visit I really really liked it. It seemed like a more laid back, 'east coasty-with the west coast mentality' city. Clean, good transit systems, lots of parks, plenty of arts and entertainment. Decent traffic and upper moderate housing prices.

The only bad part is I guess jobs are hard to come by in the area.

Beats the crap out of a few places I have experience with in the mid west...except the job part.

[seven of nine]

Originally Posted by Deezus

Saying that Portland natives have never been anywhere outside of Portland is kind of insulting and not true. I'm originally from California but went to college in Oregon and have many friends that grew up in Portland. Many of the Portland natives left home to attend some of the best colleges throughout the country, travelled throughout the world, or lived in other cities before returning to Portland. And many of these Portlanders have become some of my closest friends-they've shown me far more hospitality than many of the people I grew up with.

I'll agree that there there are friends I went to college with that upon moving back to the Portland area have fallen back into only hanging with the same people they went to high school with. This is more of a suburban Portland thing...you see this more of people on the westside(Beaverton, Hillsboro, etc) then of people who live close to downtown.

People living their lives in the same town they were born in can become somewhat narrowminded but this in no way is limited to the Pacific NW. I saw more of this growing up in Santa Cruz, California where even people from neighboring towns and counties are frowned upon(and even different sides of town hate each other).

And honestly I've found Oregon natives to be friendlier than many of the hipper-than-thou transplants who moved here from New York only to be dismayed to discover that Portland is in fact a small provincial city. Exactly--it's not New York, that's why I live here. And seriously if you don't have to live in Portland, don't move here--the job market is the worst in the country, we have unemployment levels right now close to those of Detroit. And our weather sucks and you can't get good pizza like in New York--but don't people know this before they move here?

The fact is I can be either snowboarding on a glacier or surfing on a beach or kayaking a river within about an hour from my house--and I can walk to about a dozen great restaurants from my house --that's the reason to live here. But don't expect locals to greet you with open arms when you show up complaining about what you don't like about Portland, because that's not the way it really works anywhere...If I were to move from the West Coast to New York, I'd get a similar reaction from someone who grew up in Brooklyn.

And acting like native Oregonians are just a bunch of rednecks(which isn't true, but could be said about the entire rural population of the western US including California) isn't going to win you any friends as well.

sigh, missing Mt. Hood right about now....