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is ticked off that I'm expecting. She's my husband's cousin, and while she's close to the family, she's not in my immediate circle. I do have to see her pretty regularly, as she's always at every function. She and I were working out together on a semi regular basis, both on a mission to shed some pounds. We get on fine; she's quite younger than me and a little immature. I can tolerate her and at times she's actually ok (when she's not going on and on about how she's saved). Ok, so she recently found out we were expecting (through the grapevine). I haven't had a chance to call her and tell her...besides I wasn't going to be the town crier. This is our 4th, and yes, I'm 37. She's 25, been married for 2 years or so and has been trying to have a baby for some time now. I don't know the details of their infertility; it changes from week to week (she kind of has a track record of embellishment and lies) so I only know what she tells me. So anyway, she's mad that I'm pregnant. She refuses to talk to me, and has made some really ugly snide comments like, "did they ever find out what was wrong with you? Why you miscarried so much?" "Do you think this baby will survive?" Crapola like that. I told her that I thought her quesitons were insensitive, considering she is coming from a place of infertility. She just ignored me.
So now she is mad I'm pregnant, and I understand infertility. I really do, but I don't want to have to apologize for our blessing. I don't want to be made to feel guilty that we've conceived. I don't want a strained relationship with anyone, let alone anyone in the family unit, but I think she's being a real brat about it all. I am trying to be sensitive to her feelings but at this point she's being ugly-going on and on to others about how old I am and how I could have a baby that's not healthy and it's selfish of me to bring a child into this world when I already have three....blah blah blah. I should just ignore it, right? I know. It's aggravating because it's a family and it's not like I got pregnant to spite her. Sheesh. She's actually said that too.
What is wrong with people? I should also add that she's a "born again" Christian (nothing wrong with that)...and she's always telling others that they won't go to heaven unless they're saved and that we need to get the "holy spirit" running through our sinful bodies. She told me I was going to hell because I'm a Catholic. She's a piece of work, man, I tell you what.
ignore it an distance yourself from her. I had a friend who was dealing with infertility when I got pregnant. I dreaded telling her, but she was really good about it. "Why would I be upset?" is what she said. That's how a friend reacts. Not like this cousin of yours. If she doesn't have anything nice to say, she should
First of all congratulations. How far along are you. I have never had issues with infertitlity so I don't really understand what infertile people go through. However, I can imagine that she has a lot of anger and resentment built up insider her. She is angry at the world for not being able to conceive so I can understand where she's coming from. She should however have kept those feelings to herself. She has no right to say those things to you.
I had a miscarriage a few years ago and my step-sister was pregnant at the time. We were due around the same time. I remember being very bitter towards her. When I saw her pregnant belly it was like someone stabbed a knife though my heart. I must admit I did not act very mature. I avoided her at all costs. It was just literally too painful for me to see her. Everytime I would see her I would ask why me? Why did my unborn baby have to die? Why did hers get to live?
So while her comments are wrong and hurtful. Try to understand where she is coming from. She is angry and bitter and until she gets pregnant she is not going to change. I would just avoid her if I were you.
Have a happy and healthy 9 months
I think the best way to handle a person like this is to avoid her. It's unfortunate that she's a family member, but you got to do what's best for you and your family. You don't need her negativity. It sounds like she's in a lot of pain. Avoiding her will probably be a relief to her as well. I'm sorry you're going through this. Congratulations!
First of all congratulations! I wish you all the best in your pregnancy.
Second of all ignore Debbie Downer! Don't bother with her and if you must must must deal with her and she starts harping on your pregnancy, I would reply "I really don't feel the need to discuss this with you after all I do not need the stress and you should know that negative thinking doesn't help when your trying to get pregnant and/or are pregnant." Hopefully she will get the hint...
I think just ignoring her is the wrong if it bothers you and it would bother me. the next time you hear her say these thing tell her you do not appreciate the comments that they are hurtful that you will not apologize for being pregnant that you didn't get pregnant to spite her. if she can't say something nice to say nothing at all. any one who claims to be christian and tells someone of another faith they are going to hell are rude and close minded. you will never change her but you also don't need to hide your feelings that she is being rude and hurtful. call her on it as diplomatically as possible
A lot of people say they are Christians and are not. So keep that in mind. If she is really a Christian then maybe you can nicely tell her that she should ask God to help her with her jealousy issues. After all, Christian or not, she is a human being with human feelings. Jealousy being one of them. I would just focus on you and your health. Be civil to her, and that is all you can do.
I'm with everyone else: ignore her! Be glad she refuses to talk to you! And say the Hail Mary to her next time she asks rude questions or makes inappropriate comments!
lol, tell her that her jealousy issues aren't very "Christian" of her.
tell your family members that you don't understand how she can call herself a Christian when she's badmouthing you all the time AND that she's so immature that she doesn't sound ready to have a child and maybe that's why God hasn't blessed her with one.
point out to family members how well you've supported three children already and have plans to do so with the fourth member as well.
finally, continue to be joyful about this pregnancy and vocalize your feelings if you want to do so.
I'm sorta joking and sorta not. If this woman pushed me far enough, I'd probably do a few of these things.
Remember that she just wants to make you as miserable as she is. Don't let her.
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