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Okay, so a couple of friends of mine plus myself are throwing a baby shower for one of our friends. We just got the list of her shower today and there are 60 people on the list... 60!! Maybe I'm a little out of date on this, but I feel as if that's A LOT. I don't think she realizes the cost we are going to ensue to accommodate 60 people. Food, drinks, decorations, cake, gift, not to mention a place to have it.
How can we gently let her know that 60 is too many and she needs to trim the fat a little without hurting her feelings? She's having another shower given to her by her family and the whole point of us throwing her one was that it was supposed to be intimate and be for close friends only...
AHHHHHH the joys of throwing a baby shower....I have a question why is she giving you and your friends a list? Is this suppose to be a surprise shower or does she know about it?
AHHHHHH the joys of throwing a baby shower....I have a question why is she giving you and your friends a list? Is this suppose to be a surprise shower or does she know about it?
She knows about it. It was never supposed to be a surprise. We don't really like surprises!
OOOH that sucks!!! Ok I think it is best to just be honest with her and tell her upfront that budget doesn't allow for it. Ask her if you and the girls can come up with a compromise number and she should understand as her family is throwing her another party in which the remaining guest can come to. Tell her if these people are on the same list as the family party then why should they be obligated to attend two baby showers and purchase two sets of gifts. Its a bit unfair isn't it? I know it sounds harsh but I am sure you can come up with better wording than I can in a thread.
Why didn't you guys have a talk with your friend BEFORE she gave you the list. You could have told her how many guests she should invite. Either way you are going to seem cheap if you tell her she's invited too many people.
Why didn't you guys have a talk with your friend BEFORE she gave you the list. You could have told her how many guests she should invite. Either way you are going to seem cheap if you tell her she's invited too many people.
Are you kidding me? 60 people is like a small wedding. I'm thinking she should have known better.
Just be honest. Where were you planning on having the shower? Tell her how many people you can accomodate, and leave it at that. That's way, way too many people. And just how imagine how boring it would be to watch someone open that many gifts! If you're having it at your house, you can just say "we just can't fit more than X people, so perhaps we can make this shower just for the [fill in the blank] people/friends. It sounds like the family is covered elsewhere; if some of the people are co-workers maybe they'll hold their own shower for her. Most people don't have 60 people who are in the same circle of friends, so presumably she can cut this particular group down to a smaller size. If the others are such great friends then they can always offer to hold another shower for her, anyway. Frame it as a space issue and you wont' come off as being "cheap." Space AND quality; a smaller, more managable group will make it a more personal and fun experience for the guests AND for her.
Okay, so a couple of friends of mine plus myself are throwing a baby shower for one of our friends. We just got the list of her shower today and there are 60 people on the list... 60!! Maybe I'm a little out of date on this, but I feel as if that's A LOT. I don't think she realizes the cost we are going to ensue to accommodate 60 people. Food, drinks, decorations, cake, gift, not to mention a place to have it.
How can we gently let her know that 60 is too many and she needs to trim the fat a little without hurting her feelings? She's having another shower given to her by her family and the whole point of us throwing her one was that it was supposed to be intimate and be for close friends only...
Yes, that sounds like a lot of people, but what are the chances they all will be able to attend? I agree that any names duplicated on the other list should be eliminated, except for perhaps the expectant mom's sisters, mom, mother-in-law and close friends who would be hurt if not invited. Of course, I too feel showers should only be for close friends --- and not only females! (My son's coworkers gave HIM a baby shower!) Why is the list so large? Big family? Paying back others whose showers she has attended? For those on both lists, a token gift like a small toy would be enough, I think.
Why does it have to be expensive? Is there perhaps a church that would have a room you can use, if you clean up afterwards? Could you recruit more people to help? Keep the decorations and food simple? Make the food yourself rather than catering? A simple punch to drink? Stock invitations rather than something custom?
It seems the goal should be to have a good time with the expectant mom, not to have a big, expensive bash.
maybe you could tell her you were only planning on "x" number of people, and in order to provide lunch, etc. you can't go over that number. If she wants to invite more people, you can only do cake and punch. 60 is a huge baby shower IMO.
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