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Old 04-23-2012, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
26,154 posts, read 17,414,122 times
Reputation: 31219

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I would, strongly, advise against abortion. The scars of abortion can haunt a woman the rest of her life. I would strongly encourage adoption.
you don't think placing a child for adoption doesn't leave scars?

 
Old 04-23-2012, 06:55 AM
Status: "Worst cold of my life!" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Forty Fort
4,121 posts, read 3,172,822 times
Reputation: 8796
One only needs to watch a few episodes of 16 and Pregnant to see the difficulties these young women face. One gave up her child for adoption, but she and the baby's father (still together) are struggling with the decision - he more than she.

Another gave birth to twins, one with some medical issues, and while she married the father, they ultimately divorced amid accusations of cheating; she being the cheater.

Some are going it alone because the father is not interested in stepping up.

I was pregnant at 17. Roe v. Wade had not yet been enacted. My family believed that marriage was the only answer. I proceeded to have two more children in rapid succession before the marriage ended. I wasn't yet 21, no HS diploma, three children to care for on my own - with no familial support. It was hard but I did it. And eventually found a man who loved my three "originals" and the two we had together.

One of the "originals" did present with the situation but he and the young lady were both well over 21 and they married and are still together after more than 30 years.

While I wouldn't trade my children, I could have done without the struggle that for many years wore me out.

They're all adults now and I don't have any daughters, but I would strongly support termination if they were teen-agers and I would only support marriage if they were over 21, educated and employed. I'm not sure how I would feel about adoption.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 07:22 AM
Status: "Yodeling in DewDropInn's hotel" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: hunt valley
6,268 posts, read 2,786,813 times
Reputation: 2876
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
son u came to the wrong house with that baby.
go to your own.
u grown now.
Well if she is under 18 then you don't get to do that.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 07:25 AM
Status: "Yodeling in DewDropInn's hotel" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: hunt valley
6,268 posts, read 2,786,813 times
Reputation: 2876
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I would, strongly, advise against abortion. The scars of abortion can haunt a woman the rest of her life. I would strongly encourage adoption.

I would find an alternative school for them to finish high school. Pregnancies do not happen in the school where I teach. Having my dd the only pregnant teen in the school would be too humiliating for her to stay there.

Given my girls are teenagers, we'd be supporting them until they were 18. After that depends on behavior. I won't enable bad choices. That doesn't help kids grow up.

If she's an adult when this happens, then she's an adult and she takes care of herself.
So she would be shamed for getting pregnant basically?
 
Old 04-23-2012, 07:36 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,168 posts, read 19,065,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
So she would be shamed for getting pregnant basically?
Some schools are like that. I don't think many girls at my daughters' schools think it's cool or cute or fun to be pregnant in high school.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 07:47 AM
Status: "Yodeling in DewDropInn's hotel" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: hunt valley
6,268 posts, read 2,786,813 times
Reputation: 2876
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Some schools are like that. I don't think many girls at my daughters' schools think it's cool or cute or fun to be pregnant in high school.
I don't really think ANY high school it is going to be celebrated julia. I'm just not much for the idea of the 1950's idea of whisking your daughter away to have the child in secret either. I guess if the school is that bad that they can barely function then i can see it.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 08:19 AM
 
268 posts, read 195,873 times
Reputation: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
I would strongly advise against the abortion and instead encourage putting the baby up for adoption as abortion is murder. But if my daughter got pregnant or if my son got a girl pregnant, and they wanted to keep the baby, I'd suggest they get married and would give my child permission to do so to avoid having an illegitimate birth. It isn't right to have children out of wedlock. Unless you were raped, if you get pregnant, you get married. But in the state I live in, teenagers can get married without permission if they're pregnant anyway.
Abortion is murder. I would help my child to have the child and be as supportive as I could be. I would not want a grandchild in this world without being involved in their life.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 09:00 AM
 
Location: IL
2,287 posts, read 2,126,577 times
Reputation: 1841
Wow, that would be so difficult. I don't think there is any good answer to this situation. I would definitely be as supportive as I could, my kids are way too young at this point, and I hope they feel like they can tell me. I guess I would have to talk with them and all options would be open. I guess I would encourage adoption or maybe I would raise the child...I would not be in favor of marriage at such a young age, I think this could severly hinder the child's chances for a successful future.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 681,108 times
Reputation: 862
While I have a child no where near the age where I have to worry about this, me and my husband have talked about it, the reason being 16 & pregnant. I get so disgusted watching that show and how many young men, and their families, have the belief that she is the one having a baby. No, you both are. You are both responsible for being responsible. My and DH got pregnant when I had just turned 20. We had only been dating for a few months and were far from home in a definately less than ideal situation. We had to move home to live with my inlaws and decide what to do. We decided to parent. And while we were older, our decision was very difficult especially considering neither of us had a job or a workable education really. We have worked very hard over the last 4 years to get our family in order and I would expect no less of my son if he got a girl pregnant. I would support whatever decision they made, and believe I wouldnt kick them out. We got married when our son was 10 months old. We had been dating for 2 years and 2 months. We didnt get married when I got pregnant (even though we thought it was going to happen eventually, despite his and my families insentance). We wanted to know we wanted to be married and make that additional commitment to each other, before we jumped in because deciding to be together or apart would be a huge part of our sons life and we didnt want to cause trama later because we made a hasty decision now. Things are going really well, our 4th wedding anniversary is coming up and no additional unexpected children have come. I would make sure that our son knows this story and how important it is to try for his child, but if it doesnt work out then it doesnt work out and we will help any way that we can. I will make sure that he knows about the methods of bc and how to make smart decisions and that bc is not only her responsibility. But if he makes the mistake, we will make sure he doesnt ruin his and her life by making more stupid decisions.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 11:16 AM
 
5,533 posts, read 2,745,200 times
Reputation: 4122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Skeffington View Post
Neither of my daughters are in their teens now, but I do know that my younger daughter (if pregnant out of wedlock) has said she would carry the baby to term and give it to her older sister to adopt. My older daughter and her DH are battling infertility issues. It's not likely though - she seems to have no interest in dating anyone. She's overly choosy and still thinks all of the guys she meets or is introduced to are jerks, creepy, or at least have something minor wrong with them.
I have the same kid. lol I'd would think it was a biblical miracle if she came home pregnant. There are benefits to having late bloomers for sure! By the time my daughter finds someone acceptable she will probably be a nice age for child bearing. Even then, she might not.
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