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Old 04-10-2013, 11:20 PM
 
1,956 posts, read 3,649,888 times
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I know this is old,and I hope the opportunity O.P.s friend is still enjoying her pregnancy. I told my close friends and family at 5-6weeks with both of my successful, u eventful,pregnancies.
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Old 04-13-2013, 02:29 AM
 
Location: McKeesport, PA
2,330 posts, read 6,877,416 times
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I just tested and received a positive pregnancy test today (I tested 3 days ago, but it was negative). I really don't plan on announcing it at all until I'm past the 1st trimester. It took me a while to conceive, so there is a chance I won't carry to term. However, while the chance of miscarriage is 20%, it goes down to 10% once you see the fetal heartbeat on you 6-8 week scan. That's when I plan to tell close family members (like parents and siblings).
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Old 04-13-2013, 11:44 AM
 
1,956 posts, read 3,649,888 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missshona View Post
i just tested and received a positive pregnancy test today (i tested 3 days ago, but it was negative). I really don't plan on announcing it at all until i'm past the 1st trimester. It took me a while to conceive, so there is a chance i won't carry to term. However, while the chance of miscarriage is 20%, it goes down to 10% once you see the fetal heartbeat on you 6-8 week scan. That's when i plan to tell close family members (like parents and siblings).
congratulations!!!!
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Old 04-14-2013, 05:20 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,883,873 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisthedealwith View Post
My friend is 39 and has wanted a baby for EVER. She is pregnant and telling everyone at 7 weeks. I am thrilled for her, but worried that this is a little soon to be spilling the news. When did you tell about your pregnancy?
The day after the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. I needed a transfer to a job that didn't involve chemical exposure. I think I would have waited a week or two if it hadn't been for that just to let it sink in.

I've never understood the logic of waiting. If you tell and then lose the baby, at least, everyone knows why you're so blue. Why would you not want them to know why?
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Old 04-14-2013, 09:41 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,316,320 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
The day after the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. I needed a transfer to a job that didn't involve chemical exposure. I think I would have waited a week or two if it hadn't been for that just to let it sink in.

I've never understood the logic of waiting. If you tell and then lose the baby, at least, everyone knows why you're so blue. Why would you not want them to know why?
Some people are just private that way. It can be extremely difficult news to share.
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Old 04-14-2013, 10:25 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,798,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
The day after the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. I needed a transfer to a job that didn't involve chemical exposure. I think I would have waited a week or two if it hadn't been for that just to let it sink in.

I've never understood the logic of waiting. If you tell and then lose the baby, at least, everyone knows why you're so blue. Why would you not want them to know why?
I feel like there is this stigma associated with sharing your miscarriage. Like people get uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. The BEST thing to say is "I'm sorry for your loss" and LEAVE IT at that!

The people who I had to distance myself from were the ones that said stupid things like "well you waited SO LONG to start trying" (I was 29 when I got pregnant) - like it's my fault cuz I'm "old"

OR

"well these things happen for a reason" OMG thanks for telling me what is the DEATH of a long anticipated child "happened for a reason"

OR

"you can always have another one" okay so one kid is more important than another?

OR

"you should have waited before you said anything"

GEE F-ING THANKS! I was excited to share my news after 7 years of marriage FINALLY conceiving... MY BAD!

I had a friend whose daughter died at a few years old from a rare disorder. I was there for her and grieved with her. When I had my miscarriage she told me that it wasn't the same as her child's death. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.
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Old 04-14-2013, 10:28 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,798,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissShona View Post
I just tested and received a positive pregnancy test today (I tested 3 days ago, but it was negative). I really don't plan on announcing it at all until I'm past the 1st trimester. It took me a while to conceive, so there is a chance I won't carry to term. However, while the chance of miscarriage is 20%, it goes down to 10% once you see the fetal heartbeat on you 6-8 week scan. That's when I plan to tell close family members (like parents and siblings).
Congratulations! Cheers for a happy and healthy pregnancy
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Old 04-14-2013, 10:38 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,316,320 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
I feel like there is this stigma associated with sharing your miscarriage. Like people get uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. The BEST thing to say is "I'm sorry for your loss" and LEAVE IT at that!

The people who I had to distance myself from were the ones that said stupid things like "well you waited SO LONG to start trying" (I was 29 when I got pregnant) - like it's my fault cuz I'm "old"

OR

"well these things happen for a reason" OMG thanks for telling me what is the DEATH of a long anticipated child "happened for a reason"

OR

"you can always have another one" okay so one kid is more important than another?

OR

"you should have waited before you said anything"

GEE F-ING THANKS! I was excited to share my news after 7 years of marriage FINALLY conceiving... MY BAD!

I had a friend whose daughter died at a few years old from a rare disorder. I was there for her and grieved with her. When I had my miscarriage she told me that it wasn't the same as her child's death. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.
Yep. There will always be stupid people out there and they are 1 of many reasons I did not want to share my news.
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Old 04-15-2013, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
1,149 posts, read 3,736,900 times
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I found out I was pregnant (bit of an oops, but not unwanted) in December of 2008. After 3 weeks, I miscarried. I never told anyone except my husband and my OB, and really, I'm grateful for it. Not JUST for being private, which I am, but people do act differently around you, ask awkward questions, and I wanted to move past it. Being around people who treated me as normal was a huge help.

For two pregnancies I waited till 12 weeks, right after my NT scan (just in case something was horribly wrong, and DH and I had to make a tough decision) - another thing we wouldn't have wanted judgment on. However, I made up for it in support by sharing it on a forum with other women in first trimester, so I would have people that I had distance from, but also some level of commiseration, to share excitement and worries. Plus, when one is horribly sick for months on end, a few less weeks without my MIL calling to ask "How are you feeling??" was a godsend, hah.

An aside to beera - in my experience, once you tell close family, just expect everyone to know. My mother told EVERYONE when I asked her to keep it a secret at 10 weeks during my first, "Just don't tell Starry I told you!" My loyal cousins ratted her out, lol.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:28 PM
 
Location: NY to NJ
645 posts, read 784,027 times
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Sorry, but I would never see any reason to tell people before 3 months. My last we told around 3 1/2 months to family and I told my few friends I had closer to 4 months. I will do the same with the current pregnancy. I have no problem keeping a secret.

We actually know someone who had her family announce her miscarriage to other family members but her pregnancy wasn't even announced to anyone yet. If that was me, I would be pretty pissed.

I don't plan on announcing it on FB, which I could care less about really since my page is 99% old friends, HS friends and acquaintance, until I'm 4-5 months. With my last LO I made a post around 5 months announcing the gender of the baby.

29 is late to start having kids? Half of the married people I know didn't even get married until they were 30 plus, let alone have kids lol
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