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Old 04-16-2013, 06:23 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,294 posts, read 16,242,255 times
Reputation: 11293

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Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
I feel like there is this stigma associated with sharing your miscarriage. Like people get uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. The BEST thing to say is "I'm sorry for your loss" and LEAVE IT at that!

The people who I had to distance myself from were the ones that said stupid things like "well you waited SO LONG to start trying" (I was 29 when I got pregnant) - like it's my fault cuz I'm "old"

OR

"well these things happen for a reason" OMG thanks for telling me what is the DEATH of a long anticipated child "happened for a reason"

OR

"you can always have another one" okay so one kid is more important than another?

OR

"you should have waited before you said anything"

GEE F-ING THANKS! I was excited to share my news after 7 years of marriage FINALLY conceiving... MY BAD!

I had a friend whose daughter died at a few years old from a rare disorder. I was there for her and grieved with her. When I had my miscarriage she told me that it wasn't the same as her child's death. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.

wow.....
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,653 posts, read 7,307,670 times
Reputation: 3682
I told everyone as soon as I knew, I never followed the so called waiting period.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:29 PM
 
15,877 posts, read 13,324,302 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
I told everyone as soon as I knew, I never followed the so called waiting period.
Do what you like. Its your news, share if you want, don't share if you don't want. Easy.
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Old 04-17-2013, 04:56 PM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 2,599,610 times
Reputation: 1413
I told everyone at work when I was 4/5 months along.
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:54 AM
 
Location: McKeesport, PA
2,330 posts, read 6,877,416 times
Reputation: 1536
Thanks for the congratulations everyone! Well my plans were to stay mum; but my BF already told his mother...who in turn told just about everyone on his side of the family. I'm my side, two of my sisters know. My mother doesn't know...which will be tough being that she works in the hospital where I have my prenatal appointments!
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Old 04-29-2013, 01:46 PM
 
Location: J-ville, FL
218 posts, read 375,454 times
Reputation: 323
I told my entire family and close friends the exact day we found out on Christmas day last year, I was 4 weeks pregnant, had only been implanted about 10 days LOL, because if something bad did happen I would need my families love and support, plus it was Christmas! But work didn't find out until 12 weeks. We had been trying over a year, so when we found out,t here was no keeping it in.
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Old 04-30-2013, 12:01 AM
 
4,268 posts, read 13,760,567 times
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I personally wouldn't. I waited until the second trimester. I plan on doing the same with #2. It's a personal decision.
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Old 05-02-2013, 02:21 AM
 
Location: SLC, UT
1,571 posts, read 2,177,472 times
Reputation: 3833
I think telling friends and family should happen whenever the parents want to tell. There's no shame in miscarriage, and honestly, it can happen at any point (I know someone who recently had a stillborn child three weeks before the baby was due - there were no signs of distress, either - she had gone in for a regular checkup, and no heartbeat was detected).

I would wait as long as possible before telling co-workers and my boss, though. It's too easy for an employer to fire an employee and claim it was for reasons other than pregnancy - I'd want to keep earning my paycheck for as long as possible before having to worry about that.
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Old 05-04-2013, 02:00 PM
 
Location: North Shore Long Island
7,736 posts, read 14,044,932 times
Reputation: 10553
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisfitBanana View Post
I think telling friends and family should happen whenever the parents want to tell. There's no shame in miscarriage, and honestly, it can happen at any point (I know someone who recently had a stillborn child three weeks before the baby was due - there were no signs of distress, either - she had gone in for a regular checkup, and no heartbeat was detected).

I agree.

I'm at 9 weeks with my 4th and I've told two close friends (and my dentist ). We'd like to tell our family when we're all together as opposed to over the phone, so that will most likely be Mother's Day, but I've never held off until the 2nd tri with any of my pregnancies.

I don't go around annoucing to everybody and their mother that we're expecting, but I have no problems sharing the information with family and close friends early on. Everybody else generally finds out my 9th month or after I have the baby. I'm that good at disguising it.
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Old 05-04-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,780 posts, read 2,338,073 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I don't think it matters when someone chooses to tell everythey, it is their baby and their choice.
Exactly.
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