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From what I understand, the weight of both parents affects the baby. The woman being too heavy might prevent her from getting pregnant in the first place but I know overweight people that had perfectly healthy pregnancies and very slim people that couldn't get pregnant.
If you are concerned about her health - just tell her that you think you should both have a physical and she should see her ob/gyn now so that you can see if there is anything that the medical professionals would advise both of you to do in order to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.
I know I like to lurk this forum and a couple others and I've seen a single post create massive amounts of trolling and sexist remarks so I don't want this to turn into that. If you want me to be more confident I will say that I'm 24.5 and one of the few people at the gym doing large amounts of pullups lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
What did she do before pregnancy?
I was chunky and swam, played street hockey, basketball, bowled, and did tons of walking.
I was in my mid 20's with my son.So yes younger but still did active things with friends.
She's not very active and she's not pregnant yet since we haven't been trying umm, voraciously, yet
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
Both of you need to lose weight.
I'm more open to hearing that then I think she is.
I know I like to lurk this forum and a couple others and I've seen a single post create massive amounts of trolling and sexist remarks so I don't want this to turn into that. If you want me to be more confident I will say that I'm 24.5 and one of the few people at the gym doing large amounts of pullups lol
I guess. It just sounded very disingenuous for you to come here talking about her BMI yet unable to share yours. I also wonder why you didn't post this in the health or pregnancy forums.
Anyway, every few months a guy comes here asking for a magic phrase he can say to help his woman lose weight. There isn't one.
You can share your concerns, but that's it. Be encouraging and lead by example.
From what I understand, the weight of both parents affects the baby. The woman being too heavy might prevent her from getting pregnant in the first place but I know overweight people that had perfectly healthy pregnancies and very slim people that couldn't get pregnant.
If you are concerned about her health - just tell her that you think you should both have a physical and she should see her ob/gyn now so that you can see if there is anything that the medical professionals would advise both of you to do in order to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.
Dew is often the voice of reason here OP. I'd take her advice. Don't ask her to go to the doctor because you're worried about something, ask her to go to ensure her health is up to the task. I'd also suggest you volunteer to have a physical as well if for no other reason than to show that you're willing have yourself poked at and prodded as well for the greater good.
Sorry about the situation, this is a tough one. As husbands we are generally told that bringing up a wife's weight is absolutely positively a no-go. I tend to agree unless there is a substantial concern. The trick is recognizing whether you're getting worried over nothing or it's a legitimate concern. I'd say the health of your wife and baby are absolutely a legitimate concern, but your idea of the magnitude of risk is likely exaggerated.
I guess. It just sounded very disingenuous for you to come here talking about her BMI yet unable to share yours. I also wonder why you didn't post this in the health or pregnancy forums.
The decision to have a child or not is very much a relationship issue. OP is right to put his question here.
OP, the idea that you're unlikely to change her is legitimate. She can change herself, but she has to want to. You mention going to the gym; maybe you can convince her to start working out with you? Also, you can influence dietary habits without ever mentioning weight. Change what you buy and allow into your kitchen, eat out less, etc. It's tough to do all of this, but it's definitely worth it.
My ex wasn't overweight prior to pregnancy, She was very holistically oriented about the pregnancy so inclusive to the obgyn we used a Midwife who was expert in everything from preconception health to natural birth and where. She can be a very positive voice in guiding your feelings into a plan of action you and your wife can work together to accomplish. Midwives will meet with your wife at the obgyn and talk health and logistics with your wife without you being present. Good ones are hard to find but they are priceless especially if it's your first kid. Good midwives are usually tied to excellent doctors and nurses. They know highly effective trainers and masseuses. She will not hesitate to call in a trainer if that's what's needed. The baby is always the focus so no fingers are pointed at either of you, Midwives will not risk their reputations (it's all they have) on environments that can be changed to make things safer and healthier for the baby. Exercise plans, Eating plans (My midwife thought the word diet created mental stress), sleep plans, conception goals she even did our prenatal classes privately. Thought it might be a good fit for your situation too.
I don't see what the big deal is here. Just tell her you are concerned about her weight and how it will affect the process etc. if you can't communicate something as simple as this to your wife, I'm afraid there are other serious issues that need addressing, as well.
Don't have a kid until she drops some lbs. After she gets pregnant she's only going to get fatter to compensate for the baby. Now once the baby is born she will need to be very active in order to care for it properly which will be very difficult for her since she's already Not active and will have put on more weight during the pregnancy. I'm not being mean but I've seen it happen and since you're more able-bodied you will end up caring for the kid on your own.
Don't have a kid until she drops some lbs. After she gets pregnant she's only going to get fatter to compensate for the baby. Now once the baby is born she will need to be very active in order to care for it properly which will be very difficult for her since she's already Not active and will have put on more weight during the pregnancy. I'm not being mean but I've seen it happen and since you're more able-bodied you will end up caring the kid on your own.
Lol this is beyond ridiculous. I hope youre joking.
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