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They aren't deciding whether or not to have a child.
Not sure if you're just being obtuse, but I'll take your comment at face value. It's still a discussion about a man, his wife, and his concerns regarding her ability to carry a baby in good health. In other words, it's still a topic appropriate for the relationships forum.
It's still a discussion about a man, his wife, and his concerns regarding her ability to carry a baby in good health. In other words, it's still a topic appropriate for the relationships forum.
Yeah, keep smacking your head at me. I know what else I know about you, dude.
Don't back-pedal. He isn't trying to decide IF they want a baby. We already know they do. But all his questions are (supposedly) about her health, so WHY this forum?
LIKE MOST PEOPLE WHO POST QUESTIONS HERE, first he needs to be honest with himself. Then he needs a reality check.
Unfortunately, there is no magic sentence to get her to lose weight and get healthy. He can and could have a discussion with her about HIS concerns, but if she is not worried about her weight, he cannot manage it for her.
Yeah, keep smacking your head at me. I know what else I know about you, dude.
That sounds like a threat. Now follow through.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Don't back-pedal. He isn't trying to decide IF they want a baby. We already know they do. But all his questions are (supposedly) about her health, so WHY this forum?
Because how a couple addresses questions of health IS in and of itself a relationships issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
LIKE MOST PEOPLE WHO POST QUESTIONS HERE, first he needs to be honest with himself. Then he needs a reality check.
Unfortunately, there is no magic sentence to get her to lose weight and get healthy. He can and could have a discussion with her about HIS concerns, but if she is not worried about her weight, he cannot manage it for her.
I do agree he needs to be honest with himself. Nor do I think there is some magical phrase he can say to change her mind. But I do think there are steps he can take to encourage a change in her pattern of behavior and lead to improvements.
Yeah, keep smacking your head at me. I know what else I know about you, dude.
Don't back-pedal. He isn't trying to decide IF they want a baby. We already know they do. But all his questions are (supposedly) about her health, so WHY this forum?
LIKE MOST PEOPLE WHO POST QUESTIONS HERE, first he needs to be honest with himself. Then he needs a reality check.
Unfortunately, there is no magic sentence to get her to lose weight and get healthy. He can and could have a discussion with her about HIS concerns, but if she is not worried about her weight, he cannot manage it for her.
My questions are about how to have the conversation not about what part of her health to be concerned about.
I see it as a relationship issue instead of a health issue
My questions are about how to have the conversation not about what part of her health to be concerned about.
I see it as a relationship issue instead of a health issue
You start out by saying: honey, I'm on board with us having children. Nothing will make me happier but I am a bit concerned about the health implications. And then you go on making your point(s)..... She is your wife so I'm sure she understands that you want her at her best especially when it comes to conceiving etc.
I understand it's a sensitive topic but nevertheless it is a concern of yours and should be brought to light.
My questions are about how to have the conversation not about what part of her health to be concerned about.
I see it as a relationship issue instead of a health issue
I would tell her your specific health concerns related to pregnancy and afterward. The most concerning issues aren't related to her size or appearance but her blood pressure etc. Ask her if her doctor has mentioned any of those and if SHE is worried about it.
I would spend more time asking questions than anything else right now.
The fact that she often asks you whether she looks fat is concerning, though. It's not as if she isn't already sensitive about it.
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