Birth control pills, breakthrough bleeding, BCP 99% effective? Which birth control most effective?

[angela1217]

I started on the pills right before I got married but I had a hard time remembering to take them and they made me really emotional. I had a friend who suggested i try an IUD and I did. It was a little painful at first but it was so nice not having to worry about a pill, and sex could be completely spontaneous because I was always protected. I had the mirena. I've heard mixed things about it since but I liked it and had one put in again after I had my first baby. It completely stops your periods, though, so be prepared for that.

As for your husband, it sounds like he is just excited. I don't know why he'd kiss your butt cheek though, LOL. That would be weird for me, too. My husband is 26, almost 27, and I am expecting our second child. We had our first right before our 2nd anniversary. I don't think he's too young at all. If he feels he is ready to be a father and is mature and responsible enough, I don't think his age matters (unless he's a teenager and unable to provide). I know some 30-year olds who definitely were NOT ready to be parents and really struggle, but I also know some barely 20-year olds who are fabulous parents and are making it work. Just do what's right for you and your husband. It is important that your marriage is happy and healthy, and if you are not ready to add a baby to the mix then that's okay.

[ishe]

LOL yeah, the butt cheek kiss is ridiculously awkward. But my husband likes to do it, so I just let him do what he wants to do so he can be happy.

Clothed or not clothed, when we in bed together he kiss it, unless he have to work overnight that day.
I have the habbit of sleep on my stomach. And I lay in bed on my stomach play on my Laptop. If my husband see me lay on my stomach, he kiss my butt cheek.
Ridiculously awkward I know, but what can I do, he is my husband not a stranger.

I have the bad habbit of sleeping on my stomach, because I can't keep sleeping on my stomach when I'm pregnant. Because of this habbit sleep on my stomach, it give my husband a reason to kiss my butt, lol

The IUD, I heard it very effective. I also heard about the copper arm implant thing. But then I heard that if you never pregnant before you shouldn't use it because it might cause infertility. So I'm kindda scare.

I been taking this BCP for 4 months already, but my body still not used to it. I keep getting breakthrough bleeding.

I did get medical advice, they said it nothing serious. It just my body trying to adjust to the pills. The hormones might not build up correctly in my body, so I still have breakthrough bleeding. So they need to adjust the prescriptions, like different dosage/higher dosage pills.

Doctors have alot of patients, I can't just walk in to see them. I have to make appointments and weekened they don't work.

I wonder how long normally does it take for your body to adjust to the level of hormones from the pills?
I have take it 4 months and my body still adjust to it yet, weird. Perhaps I need higher pills dosage?

My husband wants a baby to complete our family, but I not sure if I'm ready to have kids. I'm 30 years old this year, so I got to hurry up, I'm not young anymore.
How was going through labor for you? Was the first pegnancy harder for you than the second? I heard that first pregnancy always hardest and hard when go through labor too.
To be frank, I'm scare of giving birth.

[angela1217]

I had the IUD before I had children, and I got pregnant with my first within weeks of having it out. In fact, when I had the IUD removed, my doctor told me I should have a period in a few weeks and then my cycle should regulate and I could get pregnant. Well I never even had that period, I waited and waited and it turns out, I got pregnant before that period ever came. So it didn't affect my fertility. I had another IUD after my first child was born, another mirena, and I also had no problem getting pregnant. I am sure every woman's body is different and will, therefore, react differently. But I had no problem with it, and I am planning on getting another one after I have this baby.

Yes, my first pregnancy was MUCH harder than this one. I was very very sick and threw up for the whole 9 months. I was also on bedrest at first because I miscarried a twin and had a placental abruption. At the end, my daughter's cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times and I was induced early because my placenta was shutting down and the amniotic fluid was not being replaced, so when they broke my water there was not even really any fluid left.

This pregnancy, I never got sick. I didn't have any bleeding, and really no symptoms until the middle of my second trimester. Then I started getting heartburn and tender breasts, but it still feels mild compared to my first. I am much bigger at 26 weeks with this pregnancy than I was with my first, but I love having a big pregnant belly so I am happy about that

BUT I know PLENTY of women that an easy first pregnancy, with no sickness or problems. I think it can be easy to compare but really, every woman's body is different and responds differently, so you'll just have to do what works with you and deal with whatever comes. It sounds like you have an awesome, loving husband to help you regardless of how difficult or easy your pregnancy will be...when you decide to get pregnant

[ishe]

Thank you so much Ms. angela1217 for answering the pregnancy questions I have. I have sooo much to learn from you.

You see you got pregnant at a young age, so it easier for you. I'm already 30 years old this year, so it won't be as easy for me.
At the age of 30 and married, I should give a guy who lawfully is my husband a baby.

But I don't think right now is the right time to TTC, because my husband is working 2 jobs, everyday he work 12-14 hours including weekend. He work as a local Truck driver and he works at the Warehouse.
These are physically tired jobs, it not like he sitting in the office. But I know he works hard for us and for our baby future.

If now I get pregnant, how he ready to help take care of the baby when he work this much?
And baby cries all night, it will disturb his sleep. How he going to have enough rest to continue working long hours tomorrow? You know what I mean?
Fortunately his 2nd job is only temporary, just one year so we can have enough money save up for a small house down-payment. Next year in 2016 he will be back working 1 job, and that is the better time to TTC, I think.

Right now I'm at the edge of want my husband to quit his 2nd job. I told him, we poor so we be frugal. We can survive with just his 1 job and my 1 job income.
I need more time with him, today is Saturday and I only have HALF a day with him; he left to work to his 2nd job, and I miss him already.
BUT we need the money to pay for mortgage when we buy our house. We need money for the baby too, and we need save up money for rainy days.

May I ask, when did you know you you ready for a baby? This is important, because I'm still trying to figure out if I'm ready to have a baby.
I know I love my husband, but love is one thing, have a baby is another thing.
Beside scares of giving birth. I wonder if we have a baby, then my husband will go dotes on the baby, and not dotes on me anymore, lol

I have a bad habit of sleeping on my stomach. I need to change this bad sleeping habit of mine because if in the future I get pregnant, I can't keep sleep my stomach. Do you have any tips for me to change my sleeping position?
I'm 30 and I sleep like this pretty much all my life. And I want to work on change this bad habit of mine too, so my husband won't kiss my butt cheek when he see me on my stomach.

I'm not even pregnant yet and my husband already get protective. When we were friends, he always been the guy that help carried my laundry, carried all heavy stuff for me. He help me change light bulb on top of my ceiling because I’m so short.

Now we married, and he still doesn't let me get a tall chair to stand up to change the light bulb, he thinks I'm gonna fall off the chair.
I can already tell when I'm pregnant, his heart probably jump out if he see his pregnant wife climb up on a tall chair, lol

Hope it okay if I ask, is your second pregnancy, it is a boy or a girl? Do you husband prefer boys or girls?
My husband prefer to have a son. His words, he said he likes to have a son, because 'a boy will be like him-daddy protect mommy'.
And I'm worried, what happen if my stomach doesn't listen and I have a girl instead?

[nikitakolata]

Originally Posted by ishe

Thank you so much Ms. angela1217 for answering the pregnancy questions I have. I have sooo much to learn from you.

You see you got pregnant at a young age, so it easier for you. I'm already 30 years old this year, so it won't be as easy for me.
At the age of 30 and married, I should give a guy who lawfully is my husband a baby.

But I don't think right now is the right time to TTC, because my husband is working 2 jobs, everyday he work 12-14 hours including weekend. He work as a local Truck driver and he works at the Warehouse.
These are physically tired jobs, it not like he sitting in the office. But I know he works hard for us and for our baby future.

If now I get pregnant, how he ready to help take care of the baby when he work this much?
And baby cries all night, it will disturb his sleep. How he going to have enough rest to continue working long hours tomorrow? You know what I mean?
Fortunately his 2nd job is only temporary, just one year so we can have enough money save up for a small house down-payment. Next year in 2016 he will be back working 1 job, and that is the better time to TTC, I think.

I would agree with your assessment, if your husband is under a lot of stress at work it probably isn't the best time to get pregnant. Just pregnancy alone is stressful. You may end up being sick for months, you will be tired, etc.

Originally Posted by ishe

May I ask, when did you know you you ready for a baby? This is important, because I'm still trying to figure out if I'm ready to have a baby.
I know I love my husband, but love is one thing, have a baby is another thing.
Beside scares of giving birth. I wonder if we have a baby, then my husband will go dotes on the baby, and not dotes on me anymore, lol

Well, I felt I was ready when things were feeling very easy and routine. My husband and I had our jobs, our bills get paid, our house is maintained, and we had plenty of social activities. Everything was starting to feel routine. We had wanted kids, but I was worried about how much a baby/kid would change everything and wasn't ready for those changes. Then, one day, I just felt ready; I didn't care that a baby would mean fewer social outings, for example. I know I'll have less time for my hobbies and I'm okay with that.

Originally Posted by ishe

I have a bad habit of sleeping on my stomach. I need to change this bad sleeping habit of mine because if in the future I get pregnant, I can't keep sleep my stomach. Do you have any tips for me to change my sleeping position?
I'm 30 and I sleep like this pretty much all my life. And I want to work on change this bad habit of mine too, so my husband won't kiss my butt cheek when he see me on my stomach.

This isn't a huge deal. When you actually are pregnant, sleeping on your stomach will become uncomfortable. I sleep on my back normally and you can't sleep on your back while pregnant either. I got a pregnancy pillow. It isn't a big deal and I'm able to sleep just fine.

Originally Posted by ishe

I'm not even pregnant yet and my husband already get protective. When we were friends, he always been the guy that help carried my laundry, carried all heavy stuff for me. He help me change light bulb on top of my ceiling because I’m so short.

Now we married, and he still doesn't let me get a tall chair to stand up to change the light bulb, he thinks I'm gonna fall off the chair.
I can already tell when I'm pregnant, his heart probably jump out if he see his pregnant wife climb up on a tall chair, lol

Hope it okay if I ask, is your second pregnancy, it is a boy or a girl? Do you husband prefer boys or girls?
My husband prefer to have a son. His words, he said he likes to have a son, because 'a boy will be like him-daddy protect mommy'.
And I'm worried, what happen if my stomach doesn't listen and I have a girl instead?

Sounds like your husband is very into traditional gender roles. He would probably be quite protective of a daughter if he had one. Of course, whether the baby is a boy or a girl is determined by the man's sperm, nothing you do is going to have a significant impact on that. So, if he's unhappy with the result, he can blame himself, really. Most people get over it either way. I'm sure my husband would love to have a boy to join cub scouts and go camping and all that stuff. We're having a girl though. He doesn't seem disappointed with that either. Plus, a girl may end up liking camping anyway.

[ishe]

Thanks Ms. Nikitakolata, for the clearly explaination to me. I just log in and see your reply.

I asked this same question in a Baby site forum. I said my husbadn is fixated with having a boy, so I'm worried. Because what happen if my stomach doesn't listen and it turn out to be a girl instead.

And I got attack for not know how babies gender is determine. Those posters there I must be a boy fake to be a girl, because I don't know how baby gender is make.
Jesus, I don't think any of my posts sound like a boy at all. Now they calling me a boy just because I wasn't well clear of how babies gender is determine.

I explained to them that I immigrant to USA with my family at age 12, in China sex education and porn is not allow. When I was in China from born to age 12, I didn't have any sex education in school.
In China the school didn't teach me about family planning, how babies gender is determine, or teach me contraceptive at age in school.
Maybe they teach it in later age like high school, but by that time I already left China, I left china at the age 12

Anyways, I came to USA at age 12 and I graduate High school here in USA, but I don't recall high school sex ed. class talk about 'gender determine of babies'. If it did then I must forget, it been over a decade since I graduated High school.
Surprisingly I graduated High school in US but still have bad English grammars. I take the High school graduation Writing test three times before I passed it. But I graduated, thank you to "No Child Left Behind

Yes, I'm a prude in sex. I didn't have sex till age 29, and I got married 5 months ago. I'm still learning about Birth control pills.
And I'm not well aware about the baby gender dertermine.

Anyways, I have to drive out somewhere now. Thank you for your reply explaination, hope you don't think I'm a boy, lol

[ishe]

Originally Posted by nikitakolata

Sounds like your husband is very into traditional gender roles. He would probably be quite protective of a daughter if he had one. Of course, whether the baby is a boy or a girl is determined by the man's sperm, nothing you do is going to have a significant impact on that.

Thank you for teach me that, I didn't know. I always thought the baby gender is determined by BOTH the egg and the sperm. I didn't know it was the sperm only determined it.

I didn't learn about baby gender determination in China school, porn is illegal in China. Sex ed. is limited, and they didn't teach it at the young age. I left China immigrant to USA at age 12, and from born age to age 12 in China school, they didn't teach me about the sperm determined baby gender.

I did learn Sex ed. in High school in US, but I forget if it mentioned about baby gender determined stuff. I must be so aloof in class nor didn't care enough to remember it. It been more than a decade since I graduate High school.

I didn't even have sex for the first time until age 29, I'm such a prude when it come to these stuff. I need to research on how babies developed, because frankly even now I still don't know much about the three trimester pregnancy stages.

[TabulaRasa]

Ishe, here is how genetic determination of sex works: of the 23 pairs of chromosomes that each individual inherits, 22 are similar in males and females. The chromosomes of the 23rd pair are sex chromosomes. A male child has one long chromosome called an X chromosome, and a shorter companion with far fewer genes called a Y chromosome. Females have two X chromosomes.

Because mother's eggs have only X chromosomes, and a father's sperm cell has either an X or a Y, (depending on which sex chromosome the sperm cell happens to receive when it is generated), it is the father who determines the child's sex. If an egg, with its one X chromosome, gets fertilized by a sperm carrying a Y chromosome, a genetic male is conceived. If it gets fertilized first by a sperm cell that happens to be carrying an X chromosome, a genetic female is conceived.

It always comes down to what chromosome the particular sperm cell carried. Women always carry X in egg cells. Sperm can carry either X or Y. And XX is a girl, an XY is a boy.

I would imagine that, given the sociopolitical landscape in China in regard to gender and value, it also likely not necessarily emphasized that sex is indeed determined by the chromosomal makeup of the male's sperm.

Regarding hoping for one gender over the other, I was completely ambivalent. There are bonuses in my mind to having a daughter, and bonuses in my mind to having a son, and I wasn't leaning one way or another. My husband did have it in his head that we were having a ______. We found out that we are not. It took him a day or so to reset the expectation he'd built up in his head. He wasn't upset with the sex we are having...he just had it in his head that we were having the other. Now that he's had time to wrap his head around it and reset his mental picture, he's awfully excited. It wasn't disappointment, per se. But he did have to change his perspective.

[suzy_q2010]

Both of my sons have daughters. They are absolutely gaga over them. DS #1 is teaching his almost five year old to fly remote controlled airplanes. DS #2 is going to swimming lessons with his two year old.

Daddies love their little girls, too.