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Yeah, I was NOT going to go out and buy a bunch of stuff a few months in. I didn't even know if the pregnancy was going to be sustainable, and returning a bunch of crap after a miscarriage? Not my idea of good times.
I have four months to go, and my nursery-to-be is still a functioning guest room, so I'm not about to fill it up with baby stuff until I have to. I have limited storage space. No rush, here. I've picked up a few clothing items here and there, and friends with kids are holding onto some hand-me-down furniture items for us until we have a nursery ready.
I would also seriously limit my social interactions at work, if, after being instrumental in organizing special events for others, I got snubbed.
Same here. My nursery is also a guest room at the moment. I got one of those convertible cribs way before I was pregnant (so that's one thing I have) and it's set up as a full size bed. I would never have gotten even that, but we got a really amazing deal on a floor model. I'm not doing anything with the room until we know the gender though.
This thread just reminds me why I haven't told anyone at work I am pregnant. I don't want the attention, for one thing, but also I don't want to be expected to contribute to showers for people I don't even know in the future. So, no one better try and do anything for me. Hopefully everyone will just think I'm getting fat and then I'll be gone for 3 months.
I get enough one sided crap with my friends outside of work. I've learned, in general, to be less generous with my time, thoughts and money. It usually doesn't end up being a two way street, at least not in my experience. I save my efforts for family now.
At places I worked, the standard timing for baby shower was just before the mother to be was about to go out on disability. Usually two weeks prior to due date or thereabouts.
Same here. My nursery is also a guest room at the moment. I got one of those convertible cribs way before I was pregnant (so that's one thing I have) and it's set up as a full size bed. I would never have gotten even that, but we got a really amazing deal on a floor model. I'm not doing anything with the room until we know the gender though.
This thread just reminds me why I haven't told anyone at work I am pregnant. I don't want the attention, for one thing, but also I don't want to be expected to contribute to showers for people I don't even know in the future. So, no one better try and do anything for me. Hopefully everyone will just think I'm getting fat and then I'll be gone for 3 months.
I get enough one sided crap with my friends outside of work. I've learned, in general, to be less generous with my time, thoughts and money. It usually doesn't end up being a two way street, at least not in my experience. I save my efforts for family now.
Eh, don't bet on it. I don't have a workplace, since I've taken time off work to go to grad school FT, and my peers in my program are well-aware by looking at me that I'm pregnant. Not that graduate school is a hotbed of baby showers.
I've honestly not found attention from strangers to be a thing that's come up, yet. Attention from my husband, family, friends, sure. But nobody else.
I wouldn't have bought anything at 3 months along - bad luck!! I was ok having a shower at 8ish months, and some people gave me individual gifts at that point. I bought a few, very few things, but just the bare necessities like a carseat, stroller and a bassinet. I didn't buy a crib until after my son was born, which was fine, he stayed in the bassinet for the first two or three months.
These days, you can order everything you need online and have it in a couple of days anyway!
Thanks. I'm unfortunately not super close to anyone I work with, but there's a few ladies I work with regularly (and one of them I've thrown two showers for). Part of my concern is that at some point I'm going to need to start buying the stuff we'll need if I'm not getting a shower, so that I'll have it when the baby comes. I don't want to start buying everything on the registry if I'll end up getting a shower. I guess I'll just wait a couple more weeks. If nothing else, I can hold off on buying things I won't need right away.
You'd be surprised how little you need at the beginning. You should get:
Basic clothes like onesies and sleep-n-plays
A bassinet or crib and bedding
a few bottles, but not a lot. I had to try a few different ones before I settled on one that worked.
newborn and size 1 diapers
A changing table, pad, cover
Some waterproof lap pads
car seat
That should get you through the first weeks. Maybe you'll get some gifts after the baby is born. If you have thrown 2 showers for one of these women, she really should step up. I'm sorry she isn't.
I wouldn't have bought anything at 3 months along - bad luck!! I was ok having a shower at 8ish months, and some people gave me individual gifts at that point. I bought a few, very few things, but just the bare necessities like a carseat, stroller and a bassinet. I didn't buy a crib until after my son was born, which was fine, he stayed in the bassinet for the first two or three months.
These days, you can order everything you need online and have it in a couple of days anyway!
Yeah, we are not getting a crib anytime soon, because it won't even get used for the first few months.
Carseats is about all we're bothering with right now, as well as a few clothing basics. I am not stockpiling diapers yet. I don't have the space to sacrifice right now.
It is your choice to do something like this for a coworker as it is their choice to do the same for you or not.
If you are due in less than a month you should have been gathering items necessary about 6 months ago. You do not rely on someone else to provide for your child, you choose to do that when you choose to become a parent.
I'm not relying on anyone and have been gathering things for a few months now. We have most of what we will need at least initially. I could easily buy everything on my registry in a weekend. It is just that if I'll end up getting a shower, they'll wonder what's on my registry and if I buy it all now there won't be anything left. I guess there's other things like diapers that people can give that are always needed though, if someone decides to have a shower close to my due date, and there's no guarantee that I'll get items on my registry anyway. I've decided that I'm not going to worry about it.
If they do end up throwing you a shower, and they are too late to hit up your registry, it's not that big a deal, they'll just get gifts they came up with on their own or use your registry to get a general idea. Some people as a rule don't buy off registries, anyway.
Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby, etc. let you exchange things. I returned a bunch of different gifts and used the money to pay for my nursery bedding set. (which I paid way too much for, but at least I used it for a decor theme until he was about 5!)
It's understandable that you feel you should have one, especially if you have contributed to everyone else's showers...but...you should never throw one at work for yourself.
Every office is different but...at my office they wait until the very last minute. My coworker left for maternity leave last thursday afternoon, and they had her shower that morning.
My sister missed her work one because she gave birth.
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