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Old 07-11-2017, 12:49 PM
 
707 posts, read 237,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Once a child is actually available for adoption, he or she is generally past the point of staying with the birth parent(s) even being an option that is on the table. It's not like adoptive parents are ripping families apart.
The profiting of children causes quite a bit of deceit, so when that happens, adoptive families will not know what is going on - for example, sometimes the original father is not aware in his state that he had a child, and an agency is part of the secrecy. I agree, they are not ripping families apart but when if they do find out, then it's best to return a child back to her family because adoption is for children who need homes - (probably the most recent case is that of baby Veronica) instead of adults who need a child for whatever reason.
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Old 07-11-2017, 03:26 PM
 
219 posts, read 89,887 times
Reputation: 515
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikitakolata View Post
I decided whether or not to have more kids by asking myself this: Am I having another child because I feel there's a void in my life and I truly want to raise another child? Or, am I having a child as a "gift" to the child I have now? If it's the second, you shouldn't have another child. Siblings are no guarantee of anything. They might be close, they might hate each other. There is no way to predict what their relationship will be. So, if you are only thinking about having another child to ensure something for your first child, IMO, that's a mistake. If, on the other hand, you feel like your family is incomplete or you have a strong desire to raise more than one child, then go ahead.
This is good advice.

Do what is best for you, and ignore societal pressure. It will always be there, no matter how many kids you do or don't have.

FWIW, my husband was an only child and he turned out just fine
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Old 07-11-2017, 03:37 PM
 
Location: here
24,534 posts, read 28,942,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletwin View Post
Because children are not commodities and shouldn't be treated as such. Instead, she could help a child stay with their original family. Adoption is often a permanent solution to temporary conditions.
whoa. I've never heard anyone openly criticize adoption. Some situations are beyond repair.
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Old 07-11-2017, 03:40 PM
 
Location: here
24,534 posts, read 28,942,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletwin View Post
The profiting of children causes quite a bit of deceit, so when that happens, adoptive families will not know what is going on - for example, sometimes the original father is not aware in his state that he had a child, and an agency is part of the secrecy. I agree, they are not ripping families apart but when if they do find out, then it's best to return a child back to her family because adoption is for children who need homes - (probably the most recent case is that of baby Veronica) instead of adults who need a child for whatever reason.
um what?

This is quite a tangent you've gone on. Adoption is a relevant option to the op's situation, as far as I can tell. Don't let whatever narrow experience you may have had taint the entire institution.
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Old 07-11-2017, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,839 posts, read 39,741,491 times
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You are using adoption and fostering interchangeably, which isn't necessarily accurate or appropriate.You also appear to have a very oddly specific axe to grind with children being adopted and/or fostered.
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Old 07-12-2017, 01:18 PM
 
707 posts, read 237,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
You are using adoption and fostering interchangeably, which isn't necessarily accurate or appropriate.You also appear to have a very oddly specific axe to grind with children being adopted and/or fostered.
Post #15 applies to either a child by birth or adoption. Children are not commodities. Period.
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Old 07-12-2017, 01:25 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,854,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I would not get pregnant again!


Adopt. Foster.

With her health problems, not a good idea!
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Old 07-12-2017, 02:47 PM
 
Location: here
24,534 posts, read 28,942,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletwin View Post
Post #15 applies to either a child by birth or adoption. Children are not commodities. Period.
Instead we should force unwilling parents to keep a child they don't think they can care for, and force abused kids to stay with unfit parents because biology. Ya, no.
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Old 07-13-2017, 04:59 PM
 
707 posts, read 237,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Instead we should force unwilling parents to keep a child they don't think they can care for, and force abused kids to stay with unfit parents because biology. Ya, no.
Totally agree.
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Old 07-13-2017, 09:31 PM
 
Location: here
24,534 posts, read 28,942,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletwin View Post
Totally agree.
You missed the sarcasm.
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