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Old 07-14-2017, 12:14 PM
 
707 posts, read 237,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
You missed the sarcasm.
No worries - your post was obvious sarcasm hence the agreement.
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Old 08-05-2018, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Somewhere that cost too much
366 posts, read 181,837 times
Reputation: 206
I know this an old thread but my fiance and I are both 40 and pregnant with our 1st child. As excited as I am I was also settled into thinking children would not happen for either of us.

Family and friends keep saying "when you have the 2nd" and I adamantly say "we are having one" They smile and say "sure". I'm 40, high risk (Type 2 diabetic before I got pregnant) I have an older sister, fiance has a twin and an older sister. The one thing that sticks with me is when our son will be 12 I will be 52 (the age my Mom was when she passed away)

I have no problems having one. I plan to go on birth control once I have the baby because I DO NOT WANT another. One is more than enough when I never thought I would have him.
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Old 08-07-2018, 02:26 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,780 posts, read 21,984,804 times
Reputation: 45159
[quote=jc718;52708772]I know this an old thread but my fiance and I are both 40 and pregnant with our 1st child. As excited as I am I was also settled into thinking children would not happen for either of us.

Family and friends keep saying "when you have the 2nd" and I adamantly say "we are having one" They smile and say "sure". I'm 40, high risk (Type 2 diabetic before I got pregnant) I have an older sister, fiance has a twin and an older sister. The one thing that sticks with me is when our son will be 12 I will be 52 (the age my Mom was when she passed away)

I have no problems having one. I plan to go on birth control once I have the baby because I DO NOT WANT another. One is more than enough when I never thought I would have him.[/QUO


Congratulations! That's really all anyone should be saying when told that you are pregnant. "When is you due date?" Might be another.

I'd probably say "The next one? (Laugh). We are just so excited about this baby, that we are not thinking that far ahead!"

If the person persists just say "We don't know yet. We are taking this month by month."

That's it.

Really NO ONE knows if their first baby is also their last. Mine was, but that was not my intention. I can really relate to these questions, although I wanted more. (we eventually adopted, opening up more intrusive and obnoxious questions.
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Old 08-07-2018, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,176 posts, read 99,403,199 times
Reputation: 31624
Quote:
Originally Posted by jc718 View Post
I know this an old thread but my fiance and I are both 40 and pregnant with our 1st child. As excited as I am I was also settled into thinking children would not happen for either of us.

Family and friends keep saying "when you have the 2nd" and I adamantly say "we are having one" They smile and say "sure". I'm 40, high risk (Type 2 diabetic before I got pregnant) I have an older sister, fiance has a twin and an older sister. The one thing that sticks with me is when our son will be 12 I will be 52 (the age my Mom was when she passed away)

I have no problems having one. I plan to go on birth control once I have the baby because I DO NOT WANT another. One is more than enough when I never thought I would have him.
Talking about "the next one" is common in mom talk. When I was a kid in a heavily Catholic area, a couple would have their 5th girl, for example, and people would say, "Maybe the next one will be a boy", stuff like that. Eventually of course, there are no more next ones.

I'm sorry your mom died so young; as you know that's not common. At 40, you have a life expectancy of another 42 years of life.
https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/STATS/table4c6.html

You may change your mind after your first. Congratulations!
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Old 08-08-2018, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
7,150 posts, read 5,325,236 times
Reputation: 9734
It isn't as if only children grow up to become sociopaths or live under bridges or are unable to have relationships.

I liked having siblings. But its kind of like being raised in a great neighborhood with top notch schools. Sure, its a good thing, but it isn't the only thing.

People can be so mean about such things, IMO...You have too many, you have too few, you have them too young, you have them too old...They can't mind their own business.
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Old 08-09-2018, 10:33 AM
 
4,587 posts, read 1,582,867 times
Reputation: 10739
I have a nephew that's an only child. He's a grown and married man now. He's sweet, kind, compassionate, and 'normal' whatever THAT is. :-)
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Old 08-10-2018, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Somewhere that cost too much
366 posts, read 181,837 times
Reputation: 206
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Talking about "the next one" is common in mom talk. When I was a kid in a heavily Catholic area, a couple would have their 5th girl, for example, and people would say, "Maybe the next one will be a boy", stuff like that. Eventually of course, there are no more next ones.

I'm sorry your mom died so young; as you know that's not common. At 40, you have a life expectancy of another 42 years of life.
https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/STATS/table4c6.html

You may change your mind after your first. Congratulations!
I would get that IF it was actual parents saying this to me. Every person that has said this is childless, LOL
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Old 08-10-2018, 08:10 AM
 
1,501 posts, read 2,332,925 times
Reputation: 1005
I'm an only child and turned out just fine. Our son will be our only too. She was 37 when he was born, 40 now and we're happy. That said, I didn't want her to stay on BC if she didn't want to, so I got snipped. Solves the problem of "When's your next one coming" too. My usual answer is "If there's another one, I'm either going to be having a conversation with my doctor or a divorce lawyer"
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Old 10-24-2018, 09:06 PM
 
2,501 posts, read 4,483,586 times
Reputation: 5960
I have an only child who is 28 and he turned out just fine. I know so many adults who have siblings they're either not close to or outwardly dislike, so having them is no guarantee of good relationships later. Gosh, just reading C-D forums you get an idea of the depth and breadth of sibling issues among adults.

When my son was about 5, he and I were in a restaurant alone, and the waitress asked me if he had any brothers or sisters, and I said no. She actually started chiding me about having an only child, predicting all kinds of problems my son was going to have and how he was going to turn into a selfish monster, etc. etc. I sat there amazed at her gall, waited patiently for her to finish her lecture, and politely informed her that my son HAD had an older step-brother, but that he had died about a year earlier. Boy, did that shut her up. The last thing I needed was for her to pour salt in the wound - we had gotten along so well he even gave me Mothers Day cards. And it was traumatic for my son to lose his older brother, so he didn't need the reminder, either.

In today's world, you're darned if you have no kids, one kid, or too many kids - everyone will offer an opinion/criticism of your choice. Bottom line - do what's right for you and tune out the noise.
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Old Today, 08:27 AM
 
954 posts, read 421,285 times
Reputation: 2343
I know this is old but my advice is to have another if you really desire one, risk factors are a consideration but not destiny. And if you decide you arenít comfortable trying and will just have your son, it will be fine.

Iím glad I have more than one child, but it wouldnít be *ruinous* or anything to my kid if they didnít have siblings, either. Families of all sizes can make it work with love and care for one another
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