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Old 05-25-2017, 06:43 AM
 
Location: North Texas
23,615 posts, read 31,177,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaAma View Post
TabulaRasa's advice is spot on. I am a little younger, having conceived my first child a month before my 36th birthday after only 3 cycles of tracking my ovulation. The baby (due in August) is healthy, no signs of any of the genetic problems those of us of "advanced maternal age" are bombarded with statistics about.

Yes, there are slightly higher risks and slightly higher chances of fertility problems. It's important to be aware of that, but it's also important not to let negative feelings about your chances overwhelm you. I used an app for ovulation tracking that included discussion forums, and the vast majority of people on those forums were sharing their difficulties, not their successes. I got bogged down in thinking I'd never get pregnant or carry to term or have a healthy baby, and that certainly wasn't a healthy attitude for me to have.

Hope that's helpful. It sounds like you are in good shape to conceive naturally. I wish you the best of luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I was really anxious, and my husband and I actually did assume we'd have a long road ahead of us conceiving. I had known since my early thirties about my lifelong uterine anomaly, though I didn't know yet about the endometrial polyps, and I went into my marriage knowing that conceiving might be a challenge.

My husband and I, when we were dating, actually talked about it. When we realized that we were serious about one another and a future, we talked family wants. Being 35 and 40 when we met, neither of assumed bio kids would be a given, but both of us very much wanted to be parents. We talked leading up to when we decided to get married, and agreed that if it wasn't biologically in the cards, we would purse fostering and adoption. We were both fine with that. Still are.

And after all that, conception proved to be a nonissue. You really just don't know how things will play out.

One very nice thing about being 35-plus and pregnant is that insurance companies will consider you "of advanced maternal age," and most are more likely to pay for things like genetic counseling and NIPT -
prenatal cell-free DNA testing, where blood samples taken from the mother will give a fairly solidly predictive (though not diagnostic) profile of the risk for a panel of genetic disorders.

In both my pregnancies, I was comforted by being able to have NIPT done and get a picture of the likelihood of a number of the most serious fetal chromosomal disorders. Younger mothers will typically have to pay out of pocket for the same testing. My youngest sibling did not have it, due to cost, and it would have been very helpful in preparing for dealing with a medical condition they were unaware of until delivery, as it turned out. I feel fortunate that that testing was a part of my routine prenatal care due to age.

Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I just turned 40 three months ago and found out I was pregnant today. We were not trying at all. I am going to the doctor asap.

We had and lost a child to cancer years ago and I was told that due to fibroids and an ectopic pregnancy that that child was a miracle. So we have not been "careful" nor have we tried to conceive. Honestly, neither of us was even thinking it was possible.

Nature is a funny thing.

All of this is very good to read and gives me hope. Congratulations to all of you and we're hoping to join your ranks very soon. It's too early to tell if we've been successful, but we're having fun trying.
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Old 05-25-2017, 04:14 PM
 
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Agree with all of the advice above, especially to make an appointment with an RE. I'm almost 39 and about to start trying for my first. I froze my eggs three years ago and have been so anxious about this whole process and my age that I emailed my doctor to ask if I should come in for more testing and/or Clomid, etc. to start off with. She called me back, told me to relax and TTC naturally for at least a few months, at which point we could discuss options. It doesn't hurt to get your numbers checked (FSH/AMH/AFC), either, though plenty of women get pregnant with dismal numbers. Mine were checked back in October and still decent (though nothing like my 35-year-old numbers, not surprisingly). I would recommend both OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) and temping, if you're up for it. I plan to at least use OPKs to know the right times of the month. Good luck and as they say on the TTC boards, baby dust!
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Old 05-26-2017, 06:51 AM
 
Location: North Texas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shamlet96 View Post
Agree with all of the advice above, especially to make an appointment with an RE. I'm almost 39 and about to start trying for my first. I froze my eggs three years ago and have been so anxious about this whole process and my age that I emailed my doctor to ask if I should come in for more testing and/or Clomid, etc. to start off with. She called me back, told me to relax and TTC naturally for at least a few months, at which point we could discuss options. It doesn't hurt to get your numbers checked (FSH/AMH/AFC), either, though plenty of women get pregnant with dismal numbers. Mine were checked back in October and still decent (though nothing like my 35-year-old numbers, not surprisingly). I would recommend both OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) and temping, if you're up for it. I plan to at least use OPKs to know the right times of the month. Good luck and as they say on the TTC boards, baby dust!
Thank you and good luck to you!

I'll report back here once I've had my appointment; I'm hoping for hopeful feedback from them.
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Old 05-26-2017, 11:26 AM
 
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Nope. I was struggling to conceive and stay pregnant at 30. 40 is most likely mission impossible.
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Old 05-27-2017, 03:43 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
If so, would you mind sharing your experiences with that? DH and I just started going down that road. (We know our odds aren't great.)
Oh Big D! I don't have any advice, I was in my 30s when I had my kid, but I'm so excited for you! I do have friends who conceived in late 30s and early 40s. Two friends that I know of did have to go the IVF route, but was successful.
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Old 05-30-2017, 07:23 AM
 
Location: North Texas
23,615 posts, read 31,177,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXNGL View Post
Oh Big D! I don't have any advice, I was in my 30s when I had my kid, but I'm so excited for you! I do have friends who conceived in late 30s and early 40s. Two friends that I know of did have to go the IVF route, but was successful.
Thanks! We're at the beginning of this journey and we don't know where it'll lead but it's something we've thought about a lot, talked about a lot, and decided that we were going to go for it. Even at our age, it's never a "perfect" time. But with my biological clock ticking VERY loudly, time is our enemy.

And of course now that we're trying, I have a raging case of baby rabies. I'm resisting the urge to look at baby stuff online...it's some old Jewish superstition rearing its ugly head, I guess.

Fingers crossed! Hopefully we'll get lucky. I'm 5-6 days away from my next cycle, so we'll know pretty soon if we were lucky in May.
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:32 AM
 
15,200 posts, read 16,058,326 times
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I had my daughter at 36, but have many friends who conceived after 40 with no apparent difficulties.

Best of luck to you!
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,115 posts, read 37,751,245 times
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Good luck BigD.

I had my youngest at 37, almost 38, (so sorry not in your parameters really) but it was fine. I just wanted to stop in and offer encouragement because I'm 49 now and I feel like I could do it again!

I would think that hip joints/nerve issues might crop up at this age, but other than that just deal with what comes.

Best of luck to you!
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Old 05-30-2017, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
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60 year olds have gotten pregnant! Google the articles. You just have to find the right doctor and have deep enough pockets. It won't be cheap.

That said, there are a lot of good kids in the foster system through no fault of their own. The chances of having a Downs syndrome baby at 40 are fairly high. On the other hand, you could give a great home to a foster child/children, who'll grow up to do great things.

Never mind the nay-sayers who say they aren't your "blood." You'll come to love them just as much as if you gave birth to them.
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Middle America
35,821 posts, read 39,399,524 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meemur View Post
The chances of having a Downs syndrome baby at 40 are fairly high. On the other hand, you could give a great home to a foster child/children, who'll grow up to do great things.
Chances are actually about 1%.

Having had genetic testing with both my past and current pregnancy, I have lots of current research on the stats for chromosomal abnormalities, including those that vary with maternal age. Approximately 1 in 100 babies conceived by mothers who are 40 have one of the trisomies, including trisomy that includes Down syndrome.

This can be predicted with great accuracy by NIPT, which is recommended for AMA mothers anyway, and if predictive bloodwork DNA testing comes back with any chromosomal flags, more invasive diagnostics can be done. So older mothers can find out if there are significant Down syndrome risks early on, and proceed from there.

Also, not for nothing, but just as foster children can grow up and do great things, so can children with special needs (which also encompasses a rather high percentage of foster children, FWIW). As a former special ed teacher, I personally wouldn't have embarked upon family planning in the first place were I not open to the possibility of raising a child with special needs.
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