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Old 08-08-2017, 06:25 PM
 
Location: North State (California)
30,932 posts, read 2,434,380 times
Reputation: 10535

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I am so sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-10-2017, 12:33 AM
 
2,131 posts, read 1,413,429 times
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Thanks for your kind words


I have a doctor appointment on Monday & Wednesday. I will know if everything is out by then

Just wondering If anyone took time off work to recover and if so, how did you determine you needed time off? and for how long? I went to work the next day (as my post mentioned). As I worked from parking lot to office, I wondered "what am I doing". I kept walking minimal because I did feel bit week. And honestly I did not do whole lot of work last few days. I find myself dosing off staring at empty space. I am not sick & I am not crying like I was when I first got the new of missed miscarriage, I am just not being very productive. Which is not too bad because most summers I am not productive for no reason at all. Still I wonder if there is any long term effect & if I am better off taking time off. I should qualify for some sick leave
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Old 02-26-2018, 11:08 AM
 
2,131 posts, read 1,413,429 times
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I would have had the baby by now, if the baby lived. I didn't even realize my dude date 2/20/18 until I received email from those baby website I signed up trying to research info. They have been sending weekly emails, I don't know how to turn it off. But this weekend email said "Week 40, your baby will be here". It made me sad. I instantly went back to my notes that I saved with milestone date & realize last tues would have been my due date. For me 8/8/17 will forever be the birth and death of my first baby.


I look at our life and wonder, maybe god is right in his decision of our life. I can't imagine us as parents today. Our life hasn't changed much in last year, I don't feel more mature or more adult. We still live in our tiny apartment that isn't big enough for a baby and my husband still prioritizes his nephews well being before his own future and I am still a terrible homemaker.


Maybe the pregnancy process would have matured us, would have gotten us thinking about our family, getting a bigger place and made us a good homemaker. Maybe the 9 months would have prepared us to be parents but without that pregnancy, I wonder are we ready.
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Old 02-26-2018, 11:55 AM
 
Location: USA
168 posts, read 57,083 times
Reputation: 301
Sorry for your loss. We went thru similar.
However, our other kiddos have grown up with the consolation and blessing that they have a little tiny sister, already in heaven, who can't wait to meet them some day and 'show them around ...."

Still once in a while for our missed Victoria. . .
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Old 02-26-2018, 02:27 PM
 
10,105 posts, read 6,728,632 times
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I am so sorry for your loss. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe looking for reasons for the miscarriage...when there just isn't one

I don't know if it helps...maybe it isn't helpful. My husband and I had many miscarriages. It took a long time to build a family, and we did so through adoption. Now I wouldn't want anything else.

I still miss my babies...I really do. I miss the chance of going through the process and bringing home a baby from the hospital. But it feels like the world had different plans for us. And I feel so blessed to have my kids...I cant imagine life without them.

I don't think anyone is ever "ready" to be a parent...so much of that comes when the baby does. Especially with fathers (in my opinion). Please don't beat yourself up.

Give yourself time to heal, mourn, breathe, and take care of yourself. This isn't an easy time.

P.S. Those website reminders must be torture! Kind of evil if you think about it. Is there an opt out button at the bottom of the email?
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Old 02-27-2018, 12:58 AM
 
218 posts, read 121,706 times
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Oh, KeraT, your update made me cry.

For what it's worth, despite wanting a baby very badly, I still don't feel fully ready even seven months in. Yes, our lives have changed, but mostly baby has just joined us for the journey. I'm still a terrible housekeeper!

I hope you're able to take some time to yourself to grieve- don't let anyone minimize your loss. And I hope you will get your chance to become a mom, whatever the path there might be.
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Old 03-01-2018, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,827 posts, read 3,322,144 times
Reputation: 9492
I'm sorry for your loss. I had two miscarriages, one at 7 weeks and one at 10 weeks. The one at 10 weeks was physically traumatic; I'm glad yours didn't seem to be, from what you wrote. If it makes you feel any better, it took me several years after having kids (they are 27 months apart) to figure out a system for keeping things under control. They're 17 and almost 15 now and there are still days when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. You just figure it out as you go along. I hope things work out just the way you want them to!

P.S. If you're not a good homemaker (I'm naturally not at all!), check out Flylady. If you don't want to read through her site and would rather watch videos, try A Better Life With Kat on YouTube. She will walk you through a simple daily, weekly, and monthly system for keeping it all under control.
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Old 03-03-2018, 02:13 PM
Status: "Happy Winter!" (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,786 posts, read 100,408,466 times
Reputation: 32243
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCCyou View Post
Sorry for your loss. We went thru similar.
However, our other kiddos have grown up with the consolation and blessing that they have a little tiny sister, already in heaven, who can't wait to meet them some day and 'show them around ...."

Still once in a while for our missed Victoria. . .
Sweet! Sorry for your loss. We don't know what ours was, too soon. We call it our boy (we have two girls).
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Old 06-20-2018, 10:34 AM
 
12,676 posts, read 14,923,829 times
Reputation: 14585
We lost twins...one died at 4 weeks in the womb...the other docs figure at 6-8 weeks. The miscarriage came naturally at about what would have been approx 2 and a half months in.
It was natures way...we didn't feel a loss..(some sadness of course at what may have been).....call us cold if you want, but had these children been born they would have had lifelong problems.
The miscarriage caused no pain...just a lot of cleaning up as it happened while in a waiting room for another appt....incredible the amount of blood involved...don't freak out about that OP, as it's apparently quite normal...just shocking to see when you never have.
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Old 06-22-2018, 09:34 AM
 
2,131 posts, read 1,413,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
We lost twins...one died at 4 weeks in the womb...the other docs figure at 6-8 weeks. The miscarriage came naturally at about what would have been approx 2 and a half months in.
It was natures way...we didn't feel a loss..(some sadness of course at what may have been).....call us cold if you want, but had these children been born they would have had lifelong problems.
The miscarriage caused no pain...just a lot of cleaning up as it happened while in a waiting room for another appt....incredible the amount of blood involved...don't freak out about that OP, as it's apparently quite normal...just shocking to see when you never have.
I am sorry for your loss. I do think about the bold part and appreciate nature looking out for everyone's best interest. Hope you recover soon and blessed with children. The actual experience of miscarriage is shocking/interesting to experience but it wasn't traumatic for me either. But I have had friends describe their experience as traumatic. I guess it is worst when you are not expecting it. Mine was missed miscarriage, so enough warning from doc before hand
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