U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Pregnancy
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-19-2017, 09:03 AM
 
2,062 posts, read 1,325,490 times
Reputation: 2612

Advertisements

As a 32 year old female who just experienced miscarriage and still trying to recover emotionally while worrying about my "fertile" years left, I would suggest keeping the baby. People raise babies in minimal income and you are a professional. You are making more than 50% of the USA population. Yes it will be tough but god blessed you with something because he feels this is the right time for you. Take it one day at a time and know that many many women survive as single mother with lower income.


there are few things you can do to improve your life that have been suggested here (such as moving to lower cost area or hospital that provides onsite day care). Some of those changes will make your life easier and being a nurse you are in high demand. when you make the decision to keep the baby, you can find more information. Resource available. You can do it
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-19-2017, 11:03 AM
 
6,944 posts, read 10,828,010 times
Reputation: 7431
Whether or not the father wants the child right now, he will be responsible and his paycheck will be garnished.

If he's such that he evades work and employment just to avoid payments or cannot hold down a steady job, then, I think I would have an abortion.

At least that is my understanding from dating a single mother.

There's a big difference between wanting a woman to get an abortion but 'manning up' if and when she decides to keep it and splitting and leaving the mother to fend for herself forever. Huge difference.

In any case, if the father is a relatively normal, responsible guy (which comprises most of the men I personally know), he will eventually take responsibility. You may not have a relationship with him, but he'll be there to help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 11:20 AM
 
Location: The Windy City
5,163 posts, read 2,845,274 times
Reputation: 4371
Reading this thread makes me glad I spent $100 on a vasectomy. A simple $100 insurance policy saves $200-500K. I don't think I've ever seen such a deal anywhere else.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2017, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
198 posts, read 197,361 times
Reputation: 272
How you're a nurse and....?? Nevermind, I had one ask me what a panic attack was when I had one and requested meds.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2017, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines
1,866 posts, read 2,415,662 times
Reputation: 3376
Why in the world do you wanna keep a kid from a guy who doesn't want kids, may not really want you forever, and your finances are not supreme? You will bring a kid into a struggling situation. About now, and be careful next time. Your 32 and if you never have one life will go on and your bank account be bigger. When my ex was 32 I thought she was pregnant and I thought my life was over becuz I knew financially I could have a kid the right way at 27.

Also, how do you feel connected to something 6-8 weeks old that you have never seen and hasn't spent one day on earth. I've never gotten that
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2017, 08:15 PM
 
6,713 posts, read 2,608,873 times
Reputation: 18257
Best of luck, OP. Since you are successful as a traveling nurse, you have superior nursing skills. Hospitals wouldn't pay your elevated traveling nurse salary if you weren't very capable.

The ball is in your court. This is your decision to make. You can ABSOLUTELY make ends meet - especially with demanding child support from this guy who pretended he didn't notice the condom slipped off (please, really? I had sex once with my husband when the condom slipped off and . . . really? Your guy didn't notice? he did, actually, notice. Suddenly it felt really great).

Best wishes with your decision. This is hard. Go with your heart.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2017, 03:09 PM
 
229 posts, read 325,137 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by guestJ23 View Post
How you're a nurse and....?? Nevermind, I had one ask me what a panic attack was when I had one and requested meds.
Well, I will have to say that yes, life happens to nurses, too. And to doctors. After being on my high horse for a portion of my life, I got to be humbled by this experiences, as well as a few other experiences- some episodes of depression back in the days, recent panic attacks, feeling unsure about my choices, etc.

Here is the story of this pregnancy: first time this guy and I have sex - he wears a condom (although he said that if we stay together he eventually does not want to wear condoms), we are having sex, he slows down (I think he's done, as I am not feeling the same vigor), then he keeps going (I am not sure if that's round two or if he just took a break); when he slows down completely he is saying "we have a problem". I thought the condom broke; he says he can't find the condom and that he thought it was inside me (sorry for being so graphic), and he was right. Next morning: I take Plan B, and the same day I start taking birth control pills, because I realize since the condom mishap it's too late to worry about STDs, and not getting pregnant should be the new goal. We continue to have sex after that. When I finish one month of birth control pills I was already feeling funny. I take a pregnancy test- positive; go for an ultrasound - they time it to around the first time we had sex. How the F it happened with Plan B on board - no idea; maybe the birth control didn't kick in yet, but I thought it was a double protection on top of plan B.

As far as me being a nurse and having this experience. If anything, it surely made me way way more compassionate towards everyone who's been through the same hardship - towards single moms, towards people who've experienced depression, anxiety attacks, towards women who got unexpectedly pregnant. I understand the anguish of feeling hormonal/emotional (the side that makes you want to have the baby) and the struggle to try to stay logical (which is difficult when you are hormonal). I think I am a more compassionate nurse and human due to this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2017, 03:21 PM
 
4,779 posts, read 1,542,522 times
Reputation: 7846
Quote:
Originally Posted by marketa View Post
I could not bring a baby to term and give it up. If I had it, I would wash windows and clean houses if I had to, to make it work. Adoption is not an option for me.

My parents are poor and my mom is mentally and emotionally unstable. They barely get along on my dad's pension because my mom doesn't really have one. I cannot rely on them. I left home early because I was being exposed to emotional abuse and witnessing physical abuse. That's the worst environment to have an infant it. So now, going back to Europe is not an option either.
There's your answer. You wold regret having an abortion for the very same reason, you would be giving up your baby. The difference is only 8 months time.

The media portrays abortion as glamorous and trendy. It's not. It's a lifetime of regret, all around. That memory will always BE there.

The fact that you are already thinking about finances, mothering and help shows you CAN do this. Your mind is already trying to figure out your life with a baby in it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2017, 08:10 PM
 
205 posts, read 81,064 times
Reputation: 472
Quote:
Originally Posted by marketa View Post
I take a pregnancy test- positive; go for an ultrasound - they time it to around the first time we had sex. How the F it happened with Plan B on board - no idea; maybe the birth control didn't kick in yet, but I thought it was a double protection on top of plan B.

As far as me being a nurse and having this experience. If anything, it surely made me way way more compassionate towards everyone who's been through the same hardship - towards single moms, towards people who've experienced depression, anxiety attacks, towards women who got unexpectedly pregnant. I understand the anguish of feeling hormonal/emotional (the side that makes you want to have the baby) and the struggle to try to stay logical (which is difficult when you are hormonal). I think I am a more compassionate nurse and human due to this.
You must have ovulated right before or during sex.

Plan B will only work if you haven't ovulated yet. Once ovulation has occurred, it won't stop fertilization or implantation. Same with the birth control pills - their job is only to prevent ovulation. The good news is it shouldn't affect the baby, assuming you decide to keep it.

Kudos to you for trying to make the best of an unexpected situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-28-2017, 02:00 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,856 posts, read 10,312,965 times
Reputation: 9267
To Marketa, only you can make this choice. Sending positive thoughts your way. To newtovenice, the media portrays abortion as glamorous and trendy? Where is this happening? I want to lay off because a real person, Marketa, is dealing with a crisis pregnancy, but it's difficult for me to let that statement stay without saying...what???
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Pregnancy
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top