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Old 12-22-2017, 08:11 AM
 
232 posts, read 101,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeo123 View Post
It really depends on one kind of issue you're dealing with. We found out that due to her jewish heritage, my wife is a carrier for a genetic disease called gaucher's disease. If our child had that, there are three potential types.

Type 1: Slightly shorter life expectency
Type 2: Won't see their second birthday
Type 3: Won't live past 30

If you were in a situation where the odds were already against you due to "advanced maternal age" I don't know that many people would want to go through 9 months of pregnancy, then watch their 1.5 year old die, then try again.

I get that there are arguments to be made about not wanting to get abortions because the child isn't "perfect" but some of the defects out there almost make it seem like an abortion is the more humane approach.

Type 2 would be rough on us... but I feel horrible for a kid who grows up knowing he'll be dead by 30. How do you live a normal life with that over your head?

Fortunately I'm not a carrier(just got the results the other day) but we definitely would have done a full amnio regardless of miscarriage and looked into abortions if it was guaranteed.
Thatís really tough. If itís recessive and your not a carrier then youíre in the clear right? People are carriers for all kinds of things but most of the time donít know. I think itís both good and bad to have that knowledge. Now, for instance, we can know if we carry the gene for Alzheimerís and thatís a heavy burden to bear knowing. Having had some genetic testing for myself and my family I can definitely say itís a double edge sword and some things are better to not know.
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:32 PM
 
Location: The analog world
15,595 posts, read 8,749,121 times
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Originally Posted by COCUE View Post
While I have never made a decision to "terminate for medical reasons", I know women who have made those decisions and for them it was by far the most awful horrible and heart breaking decision that they ever had to make. It is not cavalier for the women I know by any means. I obviously don't know everyone that had to do this but it was horrible for the ones I know. Terminating a wanted child is very different from just terminating an oops baby in my opinion.

There's a whole spectrum of genetic/ other issues that may be detected prenatally. Some of them are common like Down's and can have a fairly normal life and others less so. Some are incompatible with life even. Some of them are fatal and the children suffer a lot for the short time that they are here. I dare say that only parents who are having to make these decisions can imagine what they are feeling like.

To PP that suggested early detected chromosomes abnormalities self correct. That is very very incorrect. Mistakes in testing may be made and correctly tested a 2nd time but who we are at a cellular level doesn't just change.

OP - I suggest you and your wife sit down and really have a very honest discussion about where each of you are coming from.
Raising hand over in the corner. Yes, it is beyond awful, and couples should talk about this possibility very seriously and honestly prior to attempting pregnancy, but please know that talking about a theoretical birth defect and facing one in real life are two very different things. Please also know that the vast majority of detected pregnancies proceed relatively smoothly and result in a healthy baby with no complications. In any case, pregnancy is a leap of faith into the unknown, and it's totally worth it.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,361,269 times
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Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
Raising hand over in the corner. Yes, it is beyond awful, and couples should talk about this possibility very seriously and honestly prior to attempting pregnancy, but please know that talking about a theoretical birth defect and facing one in real life are two very different things. Please also know that the vast majority of detected pregnancies proceed relatively smoothly and result in a healthy baby with no complications. In any case, pregnancy is a leap of faith into the unknown, and it's totally worth it.
Yep.
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