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Old 05-10-2018, 11:19 AM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
582 posts, read 184,379 times
Reputation: 742

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Baby sitting for my 2.5 yo granddaughter last weekend (result of an accidental teen pregnancy btw), the kids (22&21) just bought a house well beyond their means, haven't been there a month, only managed to paint one room during that time..... Oma can't manage stairs too well due to injuries, so Grandpa gets the princess ready for bed into her jammies, and I can't find her toothbrush anywhere. So I'm going through the vanity drawers in the bathroom looking for her toothbrush and find a drawer full of ovulation test wrappers..... My only thought is that they are going for kid #2 on purpose (they didn't need any ovulation tester for kid #1 obviously. Alleged birth control malfunction) . I don't see any need for ovulation testing unless you are trying to get pregnant, but I'm just a dumb old guy. I was told by Oma that the girl had an IUD put in after the child #1 came along. So why the ovulation testing?

I know....not really grandpa's business..... I just see the house of cards getting bigger and ready to collapse.

They just took on a huge mortgage, can only afford one car, work different shifts to share the parenting without paying for daycare. No time together except on half of Saturday and on Sunday. Another child right now will just bury them. My wife didn't have her son until she was around 28, I didn't have my first child with my ex until I was 30, and my second at 32, and that was a struggle financially, after being settled into a house for 4 years.

I never found the toothbrush
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Old 05-10-2018, 02:32 PM
 
579 posts, read 552,430 times
Reputation: 675
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
Baby sitting for my 2.5 yo granddaughter last weekend (result of an accidental teen pregnancy btw), the kids (22&21) just bought a house well beyond their means, haven't been there a month, only managed to paint one room during that time..... Oma can't manage stairs too well due to injuries, so Grandpa gets the princess ready for bed into her jammies, and I can't find her toothbrush anywhere. So I'm going through the vanity drawers in the bathroom looking for her toothbrush and find a drawer full of ovulation test wrappers..... My only thought is that they are going for kid #2 on purpose (they didn't need any ovulation tester for kid #1 obviously. Alleged birth control malfunction) . I don't see any need for ovulation testing unless you are trying to get pregnant, but I'm just a dumb old guy. I was told by Oma that the girl had an IUD put in after the child #1 came along. So why the ovulation testing?

I know....not really grandpa's business..... I just see the house of cards getting bigger and ready to collapse.

They just took on a huge mortgage, can only afford one car, work different shifts to share the parenting without paying for daycare. No time together except on half of Saturday and on Sunday. Another child right now will just bury them. My wife didn't have her son until she was around 28, I didn't have my first child with my ex until I was 30, and my second at 32, and that was a struggle financially, after being settled into a house for 4 years.

I never found the toothbrush
Ovulation tests are also a very good tool to avoid getting pregnant. If there were failures of birth control the first time around, I might try everything possible to avoid it, including avoiding that type of activity during the brief period of the month when the potential for pregnancy is greatest. Just offering a suggestion.
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Old 05-10-2018, 02:38 PM
 
Location: North State (California)
28,078 posts, read 2,188,609 times
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I agree, it can also be a tool in avoiding getting pregnant, it is smart to use 2 methods, if you don't want any kids, as the iud, afaik, is not always foolproof.
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Old 05-10-2018, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,003 posts, read 37,656,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
....not really grandpa's business.....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You said it, so I don't have to.
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Old 05-10-2018, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,466 posts, read 15,905,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr.strangelove View Post
Ovulation tests are also a very good tool to avoid getting pregnant. If there were failures of birth control the first time around, I might try everything possible to avoid it, including avoiding that type of activity during the brief period of the month when the potential for pregnancy is greatest. Just offering a suggestion.
While that is a possibility, sadly it may be because they are trying for baby number two (so that their children are not too far apart in age).

But, as you said "it is none of grandpa's business" (unless, they ask you for financial advice, or money, connected to having more children).
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Old 05-10-2018, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
18,972 posts, read 10,032,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While that is a possibility, sadly it may be because they are trying for baby number two (so that their children are not too far apart in age).

But, as you said "it is none of grandpa's business" (unless, they ask you for financial advice, or money, connected to having more children).
agree. It would be nice to think they were using the kits to be extra sure in terms of avoiding pregnancy but odds are against it IMO.

However, yes, Grandpa needs to stay out of it, beyond perhaps practicing saying the word No.
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Old 05-10-2018, 04:36 PM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
582 posts, read 184,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While that is a possibility, sadly it may be because they are trying for baby number two (so that their children are not too far apart in age).

But, as you said "it is none of grandpa's business" (unless, they ask you for financial advice, or money, connected to having more children).
My fear is the house of cards collapses, court says she gets to stay in the unaffordable house until the kids are done with college, and he needs somebody's basement to live in because 3/4 of his pay goes to child support and alimony. I've been there..... Not to the parent's basement level, but that's the law of the land in CT. Custodial parent keeps the house, and there is a booklet with tables. Combined gross income is X. Find X in the table and go across to the number of kidlings, let's call that Y for the total child support amount. If the father makes 3/4 of Y, he is responsible for 3/4 of the child support amount. If after baby 2, she stops working, father is responsible for 100% of the child support amount, plus the unaffordable mortgage. Did I mention that the girl is one of like 9 kids, and she is the only one with her mother and her father in common? She has siblings that she has never met. most before, but two after she was born. Her mother and father divorced, he had two more kids with another woman, they split up, then they got back together. Now split up again. Her father has had two live in "roommates" in the last year.
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Old 05-11-2018, 01:09 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,855 posts, read 10,310,313 times
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They might be using the ovulation tests to prevent pregnancy, that she supposedly had an IUD placed that doesn't make too much sense. I understand the frustration but there's really nothing you can do.
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Old 05-11-2018, 08:25 AM
 
15,187 posts, read 16,035,343 times
Reputation: 25076
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
My fear is the house of cards collapses, court says she gets to stay in the unaffordable house until the kids are done with college, and he needs somebody's basement to live in because 3/4 of his pay goes to child support and alimony. I've been there..... Not to the parent's basement level, but that's the law of the land in CT. Custodial parent keeps the house, and there is a booklet with tables. Combined gross income is X. Find X in the table and go across to the number of kidlings, let's call that Y for the total child support amount. If the father makes 3/4 of Y, he is responsible for 3/4 of the child support amount. If after baby 2, she stops working, father is responsible for 100% of the child support amount, plus the unaffordable mortgage. Did I mention that the girl is one of like 9 kids, and she is the only one with her mother and her father in common? She has siblings that she has never met. most before, but two after she was born. Her mother and father divorced, he had two more kids with another woman, they split up, then they got back together. Now split up again. Her father has had two live in "roommates" in the last year.
First, there's nothing you can do about any of it, so stop worrying.

Second, why don't you ask your son? None of us can possibly know what their plans are.
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Old 06-20-2018, 09:20 AM
 
12,422 posts, read 14,547,993 times
Reputation: 14088
I think you have EVERY right to be concerned for them. You are the GRANDPA are you not?
Maybe you can see the heartache coming down the tubes, and there's nothing wrong with being concerned about that. This is your grandchild...it's good that you care.
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