Quote:
Originally Posted by qatar1
Was I so stupid that I married a man who just wanted the damn Greencard or have I married a man who loves me
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You're the one who knows the answer.
Does he treat you with affection?
Respect?
Delight?
Joy?
Intelligence?
Emotional intimacy?
Spiritual intimacy?
Partnership?
Long-term future partnership?
Sexual excitement?
Sharing?
Cherishing?
Or not?
Your husband "is the air that I breathe"?? Oh. So when he leaves you, will you die from lack of air? YOU are the air that you breathe. Any other perspective leaves you at the entire mercy of forces outside yourself, including your husband, the community, anyone whose life you choose to covet. Grow up. You're not supposed to be 12 years old in puppy love. Take back your power, and live from
inside you, not from
outside you.
And instead of deliberately making yourself crazy wanting a baby that it's clearly a terrible -- and self-involved -- idea for you to have --
-- consider consulting a divorce lawyer to find out exactly what the positives and negatives of your situation are;
-- consider giving to your three children the love, attention and support you might have given to the infant. When you are a parent, life isn't just about
you. Your life is shaped around the covenants you have made with the Universe when you deliberately had your three children;
-- consider moving away from this community or town where you live, to a place where people don't gossip and deride. What anyone thinks is irrelevant to you, but you're making it important. Stop that. Get yourself out of such a destructive environment and learn to step emotionally above the opinions of others. Others' opinions, including mine, are only influences
from outside of you, not from the authentic you. Calm down, sit down, listen to quiet music played softly or walk in a quiet forest, an listen to
you, your own inner voices. Practice doing that for 15 minutes every day. If you can't do that, then meditate. Remove yourself from this destructive environment you're in, and calm yourself.
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